Page 68 of Finding Fate

“I didn’t let you borrow it.” She focuses on me, not liking that answer. “I gave it to you. Borrowing implies I want it back. I don’t.”

My eyes drop to her lips and I wait for it. They pull back, exposing her smile like the bud of a rose opening. My heart skips a beat. Loving Gabby is a life altering experience. She leaves a mark on you that you can’t erase. When I look back, I’m reminded that I pretty much knew it all along.

* * *

17 years old . . .

I sit in my truck in the dark, parked along the edge of the road in front of a vacant lot that hasn’t been built on yet, my truck still running. It was darker on this end of the street without all the house lights. It seems more obvious than curbside in front of a house like I’m a guest, but I don’t need anyone looking out the window and calling the cops on me because of a suspicious vehicle outside of their house. This is an upscale neighborhood. Anyone would notice an unidentified truck out front. I killed the headlights before I stopped.

My phone vibrates in my lap.Rigganis lighting up the screen. I pick up the call as I raise the phone to my ear. “What’s up?”

“Where is your ass at?” I can hear music blaring in the background, but it sounds like it’s coming from a turned-up car system. Shouts cut in every few seconds. I can hear girls. “I haven’t seen you in at least thirty minutes.”

That’s because something better came up than partying at the falls.

“Where is he?” Courtney whines into the phone like she’s standing right beside him. “Tell him my parents think I’m staying with Haley tonight. We can do whatever. I can come over.”

Like I can’t hear you.

“Your bootycall is drunk and horny. She said it’s beena while.”

I can hear the question in his tone. He’s suspicious. We’re teenagers. I have an active sex drive. Riggan knows it. It’s more active than his and he’s been dating Abby forever. I haven’t gone more than a week without sex since I started having sex with her. She’s only my second. I’m not really into that whole conquer every hot girl in school thing like some guys. I have morals. I may be a sinner having premarital sex, but I’m also not trying to piss God off by making a mockery of his commandments.

Courtney has been my regular fuck buddy for the last year. I’ve taken her out a handful of times and we exchange conversation through text, but mostly we just party together and have sex. I don’t really want a girlfriend and she doesn’t want a boyfriend. It works. It’s easy. She’s effortless. And she’s also friends with Abby, so it’s not awkward at parties for us to all hang in a group.

To most of the school we’re a couple—we’re not. I don’t question her about who she talks to and neither does she with me. She’s content to do whatever the fuck she wants while only spreading her legs for me until one of us shuts it down, and so am I, but that time has come. My mind is stuck on dark brown eyes the color of coffee, and has been for the last few weeks. Courtney’s are hazel.

“I had to leave,” I say, closing my eyes, because I know he’s going to be pissed. I was supposed to be the DD tonight. We rotate on the weekends. As long as we don’t have a gig, he gets Friday, me Saturday, and two to three times a month Abby drives so we can drink together, but I checked with her before I left. She’s not drinking tonight. She only does occasionally and she rarely has enough to get drunk. She prefers being the sober one at a party. Abby is a good girl. But Riggan likes to play with her in the backseat when he’s been drinking while I drive around town ‘til curfew. Tough shit. It’s not like they don’t live next door to each other. She sneaks over all the time. Pretty sure their parents aren’t even in the dark about it.

“For what?” he asks, his tone clipped. “You couldn’t even tell someone?”

“I told Abby. Something suddenly came up I had to do. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night. You can have a double this weekend.”

“Abby, I’m going to get a beer. You want a bottle of water?”

How much longer is this going to take? It’s been like fifteen minutes.

Riggan clears his throat. “Who is she?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “What makes you think it’s about a girl?”

I can hear the lid of an ice chest drop and seconds later he pops the top on a can. “Cut the shit, Maddox. You wouldn’t give up a night of drinking on the weekend for just any reason. God knows we do a lot of shit for girls. Since right before school let out your head stays buried in your phone, you’re distracted, and you’re being shady. You never turn Courtney down. If you’re not fucking her, you’re fucking someone else.”

“I’ve only fucked her once,” I blurt out, immediately fisting my hand in frustration because of it—the guilt of adding another girl to my roster. Sex feels too good to turn it down, and sex with Gabby felt incredible. I’m not ready to share her yet either. She’s mine. I haven’t seen her since the night she left with me from the concert when we went and parked down an old backroad so I could concentrate on her. I had no intention of making a move that soon. I didn’t have to. She beat me to it. We still ended up in the back seat of my truck. She gave me something I’ll never forget. I don’t want to give it up. We’ve texted almost nonstop since I dropped her off and even talked on the phone some, starting the days following, but I can’t stand it anymore. It’s no longer enough just to hear her voice. We’re on summer break now. I had to see her. She gave me an opening—I took it.

“Who is it? She go to our school?”

“A girl I met at that concert a couple of weeks back.” I need to shut my mouth, but instead, I add, “she goes to private school across town—the Presbyterian one.” I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been friends with someone since you were little. There are no secrets even if you don’t want to share.

Seconds of silence pass between us. “This isn’t like Courtney. You like her.”

It wasn’t a question. He knows me better than anyone. “Yes.”

He takes a deep breath. “Okay. You going to bring her around?”

No.“Eventually.”

A beep comes through my phone. I glance at the screen.Gabby. “Rig, I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

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