Page 36 of Unforgivable

Tingles spread across my skin. The familiar searing of heat sinks into my muscles as they strain to change. Last is the bones, reforming, bending, changing. I feel the blaze of pain as if someone is holding a hot poker against my hips. I can't help but cry out in distress.

"Let it go, pretty babe," Rhet says. He's holding me, rubbing my aching skin, encouraging me to keep going.

"Hurts," I whine.

"I know, keep going. It won't hurt like this next time," he promises.

I force the change through. Panting, I would have fallen to the barn floor if Rhet wasn't there to hold me up.

"Hey, you're not a solid color, pretty girl," he croons, petting my coat.

My pitiful whines are matched by the sympathetic whimpers of Thjis and Ezra. Both males are circling in agitation, their presence lending my she-wolf confidence. It's not her familiar pack, but she's not alone.

Rhet waits until I'm steady on four legs. His presence leaves my side, and I hear the barn doors open. I wander outside on weak limbs. Head drooping, I don't bother to watch Rhet shift. Suddenly, a huge head moves into my line of sight.

I let a soft growl escape. Rhet is a solid color. Pure grey, not a speck of white or brown or black anywhere. I've never seen a grey wolf with such a solid coat. Jerk.

He sniffs me all over, examining me. I allow him to inspect my wolf. She, in turn, is looking him over. He's a solid, large male. He will make a good provider, give her strong pups.

I wince at the stray thought. She is looking to replace him, but it's not that easy. And pups? I'm not ready to do what is necessary for pups.

Neither Thjis or Ezra approaches for awhile. The wind is dying down, snow falling gently to coat the ground the males cleared just an hour ago.

With a high-pitched yip, we start to lope out of the yard. I go tentatively, my wolf being careful about how her paws hit the earth. It's slippery, and when we reach the cover of trees, the ground becomes uneven.

The males maintain their pace next to me. It gives me confidence, my wolf happy to 'run' with a pack again. Suddenly, Ezra bounds away, the white tail of a rabbit disappearing into the undergrowth. I hear Thjis snort next to me.

Ezra bounds back, right in front of me. I start to stop moving, but he just wants a kiss, apparently. With a long swipe of his tongue on my snout, he leaps away.

I growl, startled, and shake my head, trying to dislodge the wolfie-kiss. Thjis snorts, and I immediately turn to rub my snout all over his coat.

With a howl of surprise, he takes off. I chase him, laughing as his wolf dives into a pile of snow and rolls around. Yipping, my she-wolf dances, enjoying the sight of Ezra pouncing on the bigger male like a pup.

Rhet comes and stands next to me, hovering protectively, our sides touching. We both watch Thjis and Ezra play. My she-wolf whimpers a little. She wants to play too, but gentle teeth on our scruff pull us back when we take a step toward the wrestling males.

I pull my wolf in a little. Rhet is right; it would be a bad idea to jump in the middle of the playfight happening in front of us. Instead, I lay down, letting the snow cool off my sore body.

Rhet lays down with us. The top of my head doesn't even reach his shoulders. He nuzzles my side, and when I get cold, I half-crawl on top of his warm coat.

My eyes drift closed. My she-wolf is enjoying the closeness of this male. We haven't cuddled up to a wolf since the first couple of times we shifted. Once we were rejected, we were both too raw, too anxious, to get personal while on paws.

I must have fallen asleep because when my eyes open again, I'm being carried in Rhet's arms into the house.

I shift back without a struggle this time. It still hurts, but I'm not afraid anymore.

A bury my yawn in Rhet's shoulder. Rhet's bare shoulder. Slowly, I peel my face off of him and look down.

I'm completely naked. He's completely naked. I can't stop my head from turning. Ezra and Thjis are walking in the door behind us. They are completely naked.

"We are all completely naked."

"That's what happens after you shift back, pretty," Rhet is laughing. I blush. I didn't mean to say that outloud. I squirm a little in Rhet's arms. Something is unfurling in me, a wanting, a desire. It may just be instinct, surrounded by three males in their prime, but it feels like something more.

I let my wolf decide. She's so instinctual, my she-wolf. Her spirit centers me, cuts through all of the bullshit of my more complicated emotions. My fears aren't the same as hers. She fears being left alone, without a pack or family, because our survival would be questionable. I fear the same, being alone, but I fear being unloved more.

We no longer have a mate to save ourselves for.

I reach up, cupping Rhet's cheek. Soft blue eyes are dark with desire. I can scent it in the air, the pheromones. It threatens to trigger those unwanted memories, so I move quickly, pulling his head down to mine.

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