Page 75 of Unforgivable

Lyri

Rhet's anger is gone. Faded away to nothing in the last seven hours. I can see it in his posture, in his eyes. He looks... apprehensive, resigned. Even his wolf is hidden deep inside him.

Immediately every dumb thought a female can have flits through my mind. Rhet doesn't want me. His jealousy has turned into distaste. He doesn't like females. I'm ugly. I'm too skinny. I'm too fat. My lips are too thin. My hair is too short...

Every tiny piece of flesh and bone is immediately obsessed over and found lacking.

It only lasts a moment before I see the caring in his eyes.

"I want to talk to you, Lyri...," he says in a low voice.

I draw my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. My wolf curls up in a ball. Rhet's nervousness has increased our agitation by about a hundred. "About?"

"There's a reason for why I wanted Thjis and Ezra to have sex with you first."

"OK," I duck my chin a little. I can't help it. I don't want to talk about this. I'm not really that comfortable just casually chatting about sex.

"I fucked you first." His jaw clenches. Blue eyes bore into me, anger swimming in them. I frown. Didn't he just say that Thjis and Ezra- oh? Oh, no. He's talking about that night.

Blue eyes watch my reaction. He sees my sudden realization. "I got there earlier than the other males," he continues, hoarsely, fists clenched at his sides. He hits his chest with his fist, hard. "I hurt you. I hurt you."

"You were chained up, nude, and so cold. You... you looked at me with those fucking innocent eyes, and I laid you on your back and I... I looked at your gorgeous body and pretended... you didn't say anything. I..." He turns around and punches the door hard enough that the solid wood cracks. His knuckles crack and bleed, dripping onto the floor.

"I was the first male. My scent was all over you. It... I'm a powerful male, so my fucking cum in you drove the other males to start in on you-"

"Rhet," I say his name softly, but he continues as if he doesn't hear me.

"They kept coming at you, so I got to you again. There were so fucking many of them. I didn't... I didn't put myself in you again. I just laid on top of you and rutted, but I still came. You were crying... you were crying, and I didn't stop."

"Rhet."

"You were so cold, Angel. So damn cold. I kept trying to gather you closer to keep you warm, but the other males kept touching you. They threw me away from you, and you were screaming and..." his words start to slur as his canines protrude in remembered rage.

"Rhet!"

He jumps, wounded eyes filled with self-loathing staring at me. He hates himself. Oh, shit.

"I know, Rhet. I remember. I can remember you," I tell him haltingly.

He just stares at me, guilt in his eyes. "You remember me?" his voice breaks. "I'm sorry, Lyri. I'm sorry I had to hurt you."

"Why did you have to?" I ask him carefully. I think I know. I have an idea, but I need to know for sure.

"Because then my scent would be first. I could take you when the Mating Moon was over. As the first, I was able to pick you up after the chains came off and walk away with you. No one would stop me."

I nod. "I thought so."

"You did?" he whispers.

"Rhet, that night..." I shudder. "I do understand how it all works." A dominant male's scent will often drive other males to try and take a female away from him if she's not Marked as his. But, what Rhet isn't considering is that my dominant she-wolf is her own draw to other males, too. It's not his fault that other males were there that night, in that forest. It's not OK, what happened to me, but I'm not going to waste my time searching for reasons to hate Rhet. He was there, he hurt me, but by being first he claimed me for the dawn. It happened and can't un-happen.

He bows his head, nodding. "I want you to know, Angel, that Thjis and Ezra didn't rape you. That night, they were the only two there that didn't touch you at all in... in that way."

I can feel my eyes widen. Well, that explains why I can't remember how brutal those two were that night. Something inside of me stitches back together. Something broken is healed. Not all the males hurt me that night. Not all of my males hurt me. Just this one. The one staring at me with burning blue eyes filled with self-loathing.

How ironic that the male who saved me for the dawn is the first one I’ll make love to at night. Damn the Moon.

"I'm sorry, Lyri. I understand if you don't want me to touch you, now that you know. Thjis and Ez, they're good wolves, good males. I did this for them."

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