Page 48 of Unforgivable

I won't let them see how upset I was for hours this morning. They don't need to see me breaking apart even further. They don't stare at my scars or my hair, so I won't dwell on them like a foolish little female.

Well, eventually, I won't be bothered by it anymore. Maybe when the scars fade and my hair grows in. Maybe... when the wounds on my she-wolf's spirit scab over, because I don't think they'll ever truly heal.

It isn't until I am in the mudroom that I realize that the car engine doesn't sound like the big, diesel truck the males drive. It's a softer purr, a luxury car, not a work vehicle.

I become a statue. A frozen stone-Lyri. I listen to footsteps, moving slowly through the snow. I try to be quiet. I don't even breathe loudly. I don't want the wolves outside to know I'm home. Poor Sarj is sleeping upstairs. I have to protect him, but I know I'm too weak to fight off an attack.

A knock on the front door confirms that it isn't my males. I've never seen any of the males use the front door. We are always going in and out of the mudroom off of the kitchen.

With absolute trepidation, I turn my head towards the direction of the front door. They aren't leaving, evidenced by another knock.

Crap. What do I do? Sarj is here, and my males are all out. Who could be at the door? Curiosity is stinging me, tempered by nerves.

My feet start to move before I'm ready. I get closer and closer to the front door. I can see the shiny, red mahogany, the pretty, polished brass hardware gleaming. There's a frosted glass side panel, glowing brightly from the snow outside.

I'm not a coward. I'm not breaking any rules out here. Technically, the males are, but they're protected by whatever agreement exists between Rhet and Alpha Jax.

A shadow moves past the plated glass. My feet falter, then gain speed as the wolf on the other side presses her face against the glass. The recognizable blue hair and cheetah print, cat's-eye, eyeglasses make my breath whoosh in relief.

"Bea!" I swing open the door with a broad smile that falters as soon as her answering wide grin fades.

"Oh, oh my poor little pup," she says in horror.

I forgot. I forgot what I look like now even though it's only been a few hours since I saw myself. I feel my lower lip tremble and grit my teeth to keep the emotions at bay.

That all goes flying out of the window when Bea crosses the threshold and takes me into her arms.

"Oh, my goddess, my sweet female," she croons, rocking me back and forth in her arms as I fall apart completely. She smells of cinnamon and mint, the familiar scent making my stomach cramp in yearning for home. I want to be a pup again, just like before I knew how bleak my future is; before I knew that my mate, the male designed specifically to be mine, had already betrayed me. Before I messed up my future so terribly.

I compose myself when the cold sinks in through my thin sweater.

"C-come inside, Bea," I pull away, sniffling.

Her eyes are on my hair, my new scars. I see the elderly wolf inside her, wiser than any wild wolf can be, cataloging the injuries to a she-wolf she considers her own family.

"Let's go to the kitchen, sweetheart. I don't suppose you have any tea?"

I can make tea without burning down the kitchen. Probably. Hopefully.

Luckily, I don't have to. Bea takes over Ezra's kitchen straight away, bustling around and finding the tea kettle and tea bags as quickly as if it were her own kitchen.

"Here you go," she plops down a teacup in front of me before settling her frame into another chair. "Well, I must tell you, Lyri, that those males of yours are more helpful than the entire patrol team put together. Bunch of louts, those other males. Can't even salt a walk proper. Did you know Hortense slipped and nearly fell this morning? 'Course, she probably shouldn't have been out in this, but you know Hortense." Bea sniffs at the thought of her best friend for over sixty years.

I smile. Bea's nephews and son, Micah, are all on the unit. She rags on those males constantly, but she'll be the first to talk them up, too.

"Anyway, that sweet, funny one, Ezra, is it? He's the one who cleaned her walkway this morning. Nice young male. He was over to help your father with his driveway. Of course, your father had his done and was over at Hortense's, so they met up there."

I nod, trying to follow. So, Ezra worked with my dad today? Interesting.

"He's a sweetheart, that one. Spoke to Hortense about you, said you were doing better." Her eyes flit to my hair.

I just nod again, resisting the urge to cover my head with both hands.

Bea falls silent for a beat. "Are they treating you well up here, Lyri? We have resources, youngling. We can scoot you out of here faster than you can blink."

I shake my head. The thread of fear is genuine. I don't want to be alone. "They're very good to me, Bea."

She covers my hands with one of hers suddenly. "I'm sorry, Lyri. I didn't realize just what Alpha Jax intended for you. Your punishment," she spits the word as if it offends her, "was kept hidden from your friends and family until that very night. Micah helped your father search for you. It was too late." Tears glimmer in her eyes, "I never thought I'd see the day, youngling. Not here. Not us."

---