Page 35 of Unforgivable

Lyri

I rub my hands together even if it's warm in the barn. I'm shaking from nerves, not the cold. This morning Rhet told me that he thinks I'm ready to shift. It's been over two months since my... injuries. My wolf needs this to stay healthy and to help me heal the bones and ligaments that are still not quite right. Forcing my body to shift back and forth makes my muscle tone increase, and my metabolism skyrocket.

I'm nervous. I'm not sure why. My she-wolf is tenacious. I have no doubt that she'll easily let herself free from the back of my mind.

It's just; I haven't shifted in a long time. And, I was always careful about shifting. My she-wolf saw Cloe as a rival in need of teeth to the throat, but I couldn't just attack the female everyone loves so much. So, I held her back, kept her contained when she wanted to burst free and kill the bitch who stole our mate.

How would I explain it? I never wanted the pack to know that I was his truemate because I still cared about him more than myself. I didn't want him punished for lying.

I'll admit I also didn't want everyone to know my humiliation as the rejected she-wolf. By the time I was ready to tattle on the lovebirds, it was too late. Cloe is entrenched as the future luna, and I am the rankwhore who seduced the alphason. That's the role that I have to live with.

"Ready, love?" Rhet shakes out his arms and hands as if he's getting ready to dive into a lake. Ezra and Thjis are standing around, nearly-nude with just some shorts on. I trained all the time with half-naked males, but now everything is different. I'm afraid of males. There, I'll admit it to myself. Just to myself.

Except that my fear has dwindled dramatically in the past two months. Despite our 'deal,' none of these males has pushed for much more than some kisses and maybe a very tame hug.

I'm trying to ignore the naked flesh, but it's hard when it's so... hard. Haha.

Practically speaking, no sane female would ever look at any of these three and think that they could be better. They are wolves, males, perfect specimens for all that they're so different physically from each other.

Thjis is the first to shift. It's a little surprising. He seems the least in control of his wolf. But, the big brute surprises me when he lays down in the straw, tucking his massive head on his front paws and watching me. His dark brown fur and enormous size almost make him look like a bear in the barn's dim lighting.

"Do you want to meet his wolf on feet, or do you want to shift, Love?" Ezra asks.

"Umm, I'd like to meet him now," I say, rubbing my hands over my pants. I need to take them off. I'm just not super-ready to relinquish my clothes.

When I shakily take off my shirt, the giant wolf lumbers to his feet and approaches me.

I hold still when he nudges my belly with his snout. A soft rumble comes from deep in his chest. He walks around me, rubbing his thick, soft fur lightly along my skin. Another nudge from his nose, this time on the button of my pants.

I shakily unzip. I'm trying to keep memories at bay. Snarling, big wolves, battling to approach me.

I honestly never thought about it. Not one shifted wolf came near me that night. If they had, they would have killed me. They stayed away, somehow.

Thjis lets out a soft whine. Startled, I jump a little.

"You OK, pretty?" Rhet reaches out and pushes Thjis' wolf away from me a little.

"Just thinking," I mumble.

"About?"

"Wolves," I say shortly.

"Ez, why don't you shift, too?" Rhet says.

Ezra's wolf is a light tan, almost a golden color. I smile when I see it. Sunshine male. He's smaller than Thjis by quite a lot. It's easy to see how Ezra would never be a warrior like his brother.

"You're pretty," I tease him.

His wolf shakes out his fur, preening. With a low growl, Thjis knocks his big head into his brother's side. They snap at each other, snarling furiously.

"Don't scare Lyri," Rhet says calmly. Both males stop immediately.

"I'm alright," I reassure him. I give away the lie right away when Rhet moves to take my elbow and I visibly flinch. "Sorry," I mumble, ashamed. He's not going to hurt me, I admonish myself silently.

"OK, here we go," Rhet says encouragingly. "Why don't you try to shift now, sweetheart."

I swallow back my nerves, puffing out a large breath. "Right, here we go." I let my eyes close. My she-wolf is vibrating with the need to shift, to run, to explore this new territory we are in. She is a strong female, accustomed to shifting regularly.

---