Page 30 of Unforgivable

Thjis insists that I wear my heavy, warm clothes, so we don't leave the house for another fifteen minutes. Rhet has Mari in one of the smaller barns that they use to store feed. It's pretty solid so that rats and mice don't get in, so I guess it's good for containing a she-wolf, too.

As Thjis carries me across the icy yard, I see Mari's souped-up BMW SUV. I roll my eyes. A nice perk of being mated to the future beta of the pack. Mari's family couldn't have given her that car. I'm jealous, and it's a freakin' ugly emotion, but Mari has the fairytale story with her mate that I wanted.

I scowl at Mari when I see her, but her reaction to me is entirely different. Her face pales dramatically, eyes scanning me from head to toe. I glare meanly. "Why are you here?" I snap out.

While she takes her sweet time answering, I examine her. I've spent the last two years either giving her the cold shoulder or an icy staredown. I haven't looked at her in years. She looks different, more sophisticated, but it's a bit unnatural.

It takes me a moment to pinpoint some of the changes in Mari. She's wearing coral lipstick, which looks orange against her light olive skin tone. Her eyeshadow (who wears eyeshadow at six in the morning?) is grey, which is nice but does nothing for her brown eyes. Her clothes are designer skinny jeans and a red silk shirt. It's nothing like what I remember Mari's more hippie, bohemian style being.

She looks like Cloe, who imitates Luna Jessi. Cloe and Jessi are blondes with light-colored eyes. Mari doesn't match them, but she's trying. She's trying too hard.

My very critical examination of Mari ends when she finally finds her voice. "Daan and Cloe have gone away to another pack for their mating. You made our future alpha pair leave right when they needed to be training with the pack the most."

I grit my teeth against the slice of agony. I knew they had gone away. I knew that Daan wasn't anywhere near the pack when I was sitting in jail for two weeks. My wolf felt his presence leave us. After my Shaming, I stopped caring about where he was, but I still have that tenuous connection letting me know he's not here.

I don't know why I didn't think about them completing their mating. It hurts. I don't want Daan. I would rather spit in his face than say 'hello,' but it still hurts like hell. He is moving on, moving forward without a single backward glance toward me. Meanwhile, I wallow, crying all the time, limping around, desperately trying to grasp onto something new so that I can completely erase him from my soul.

"Well, then, I suppose they'll mate, and everything will be just peachy again," I growl out. My fists clench at my sides.

"They will, and it will. I just wanted to come here and give you fair warning to stay away from the pack."

"I'm nullavenia, you stupid bitch."

Mari's eyes glow with anger, but she won't attack me with the brothers here, on their land, no less. At heart, she's spineless.

"Just stay away from my male," she hisses.

I gape at her, startled. "Wait, this is what you're afraid of? Now that they're gone, I'll start going after Drew?" I can't believe her! "I don't look at Drew as a male worth anything!"

A guffaw from my right is covered up quickly. I dart a glance at Ezra. Shit, all of the older males are here, standing around watching this as if we're a Netflix special.

Mari growls threateningly at me for the insult to her mate, but I brush her off. "Don't worry, Mari. You can keep your status, your fancy clothes and car, and your male. I've discovered that they're not worth anything, anyway." Ignoring her sputtering, I turn my head to look at Thjis, "can you take me back inside?"

He picks me up without a single word. I can hear Rhet threatening Mari about coming here without calling first. These males in Genom have a certain amount of autonomy from the pack, so her status means jack shit out here. Maybe one day, I'll tell her how her status means crap-all everywhere. She only means anything if Drew allows it. If her male abandons her, then she's nothing, just like me.

I start crying before we're back in the bedroom. I'm so sick of tears, but they come anyway. Thjis sits on the bed and holds me, letting me cry it out. When I finally feel my sobs peter out, I look up at him.

"I'm not going to cry about it anymore," I tell him.

He grasps my chin, "about losing your position in the pack?"

He and I think differently about what that means, but that's it in a nutshell. "Yes."

"Good. No more tears. You're not top female of the RustClaw anymore. Now you're our female. You belong in Genom with us."

Isn't that bizarre?

I lean back, exhausted despite just waking up. The sun creeps over the horizon, bathing the snow in brilliant orange and pink. I smile a little at my warm friend. Dawn always chases away the Moon.

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