Page 35 of A Lady's Key to Passion

Chapter 20

The next afternoon Jane was sitting in the parlour, trying to finish a drawing, when Marianne walked in. Her sister sat down next to her. Jane kept drawing, trying to focus on the lines, but it was all beginning to blur.

“Jane,” said her sister in a gentle voice. “Please. You must talk to me.”

With a heavy sigh, Jane put down her sketchbook and pencil, turning to her sister. She didn’t even want to look Marianne in the eye. For some reason, she was fearful that her sister might see the truth of what had happened in the Rhodes’ library last evening. Something that she just couldn’t think about in any rational way at all.

“Where is Lucy?” asked Jane. “The house seems awfully quiet.”

Marianne sighed. “Our dear cousin has gone on a country picnic. She left over an hour ago and probably will not return until late afternoon.” Her sister’s voice was dry. “The coast is clear. She will not interrupt us.”

Jane flushed. “Papa?”

“Resting,” said Marianne. “Now, please tell me what is bothering you. Something happened at that dinner party last evening. You have not been yourself ever since.”

Jane bit her lip. She wanted to burst into noisy tears and place her head upon her sister’s lap. She exhaled slowly, trying to control herself. The longing to confide in her sister was so strong. What could it hurt to unburden herself, just a little bit?

“It was quite an eventful evening,” she said eventually, her heart flipping. “Charles decided to blurt out that he is in love with me and has been for quite some time.”

Marianne’s jaw dropped. “Oh, dear. Is that what had just happened when I walked out to the balcony? I could tell something was going on. The air was so thick with tension, and you looked as pale as a ghost.”

Jane nodded grimly. “Indeed. For some strange reason, he decided to ambush me with this news at a public dinner party. I was completely stunned.”

“How did you respond?”

“How do you think I responded?” Jane sighed heavily. “I told him that I could never love him in the same way. I had to be brutal, Marianne. I had no choice in the matter.”

Marianne sighed. “Yes, I suppose you didn’t have much of a choice. How did he take it?”

“Not well,” said Jane, her heart twisting at the memory. “He was offended. But what did he expect? He just dumps this news upon me in a public place and expects me to know how to react. He could have at least waited until we had a bit more privacy. I am rather angry at him.”

Marianne shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose there is no good place to say such a thing,” she said slowly. “Perhaps Charles felt safer declaring himself to you with so many people around.” She paused. “You and Charles have been close for a very long time, Jane. Are you quite certain you do not reciprocate his feelings?”

Jane stared at her sister incredulously. “Quite sure, Sister. I have never seen him as anything but a friend. He is like the brother I never had.” She exhaled slowly. “I never once suspected he was secretly in love with me. How does someone hide something like that for so long?”

Marianne sighed again. “Unrequited love is quite common, Jane. People become quite good at hiding their feelings. Although I must admit, I am as surprised as you are that Charles has had them for so long.” She frowned. “I wonder why he decided to declare himself now?”

“I have no idea,” said Jane. “Regardless, he has done it, and it cannot be undone.” She gazed at her sister mournfully. “Is it the end of our friendship, Marianne? Is there any hope that we can get past this? Because that is what distresses me the most—the thought of losing him as a friend because of this.”

“Oh, dearest,” said Marianne, reaching out a hand and squeezing her arm. “I cannot answer that question. Only time will tell if the friendship can survive this.”

Jane nodded, blinking back the tears again. She still felt so angry at Charles. Her rational mind told her that he hadn’t chosen to fall in love with her, but she still felt like he had risked their long friendship for nothing. Although she supposed to him, it must have been a calculated risk.

“That is not the only thing that happened last evening,” said Jane, almost in a whisper. “There was something else.”

She felt a little sick even bringing up the kiss with the Earl to Marianne but speaking about Charles had felt so good that she couldn’t not talk about it now. She desperately needed advice as to how to handle this situation. She had never been in such a position before. She was five and twenty years old, and it was the first time she had ever been kissed.

And what a kiss it had been.

A flush rose over her whole body just thinking about it. The intense look of desire in his dark eyes as he had bent his head and claimed her lips. The feel of his lips upon her own. They were softer than she thought they would be.

To her shock, he had flickered his tongue into her mouth. Strangely, the action had increased her desire, sending shooting sparks throughout her entire body. Even more shocking, he had touched her breasts through the fabric of her bodice, caressing them in such a way that she had felt weak at the knees. It had taken all her strength to push him away and flee the library.

Afterwards, she had been stunned, unable to believe that it had even happened. Had hereallyfollowed her to the library and kissed her like that? It had taken on the hue of a dream. She couldn’t even remember anything that she said or did in the parlour afterwards or even the carriage ride home.

Abruptly, she sat up straight. Shedidremember one thing: Charles had been staring at her almost accusingly when she had walked back into the parlour. But she had been so distracted by what had just happened she took no notice of him.

“Jane,” said Marianne. “What happened?”

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