Page 34 of A Lady's Key to Passion

Jane laughed again. “Was it? I no longer know. He is another one who cannot understand my decision to remain a spinster, when I thought he supported me.”

Percy swallowed hard. “Yes. Your decision to remain a spinster seems to rattle a lot of people, Lady Jane.” He hesitated. “I suppose it is because you are so adamant about it. So vocal. People are not used to ladies vehemently asserting they wish to remain unmarried. It goes against convention.”

Jane shrugged. She looked weary. “Well, that is just the way it is. They will all have to deal with it.”

“I have asked you before why you are so resolved to remain unmarried,” he said slowly, his heart pounding harder still. “Is there truly no hope that you will ever change your mind?”

The question seemed to hang in the air between them. He cursed inwardly that he had uttered it aloud. What had happened to his resolve to stay away from her, because it was all becoming too messy and disorderly? No good could come of trying to get closer to her, inch by inch. And yet, in this moment, he felt compelled.

“I think not,” she said eventually, in a terse voice. “I told you that it was because I have seen many unhappy marriages.” She hesitated. “One of them belonged to my own parents. Their marriage was merely an illusion, you see. None of it was real at all.”

She looked so woebegone, so utterly lost, that he barely resisted the impulse to place his arm around her shoulders to offer her comfort. It was an alien feeling for him—he had never felt like comforting any of the ladies with whom he had affairs in the past. But now, the urge to comfort and protect this lady, shield her from harm, was so strong it was almost overwhelming.

“It seems we have something in common, my lady,” he said in a low voice. “My parents’ marriage was an illusion, as well.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “It is the reason that I am resolved to a marriage of convenience. Things are so much easier if love is not involved.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes. Love seems to ruin everything, does it not?”

They stared at each other. Somehow, talking about his parents’ marriage with her—even though he hadn’t given any particular details—felt liberating. It was the very first time he had admitted why he wanted to marry for convenience and avoid romantic love at all costs. He hadn’t even told Freddie that was the reason, even though his friend pestered him about it.

He took another deep breath. It had just come out without his intending it, but he knew it was because she had talked about her own parents’ marriage as the reason why she was so committed to remaining a spinster. Somehow, he knew she would understand, in some strange way. It was like a connection between them.

“It ruins everything,” he repeated in a low voice. “Much better if it is off the agenda entirely.”

She blinked rapidly, looking like she was trying not to cry again. His heart flipped. He must have said the wrong thing, which was strange. She had just admitted she shared the same views upon the whole matter with him. How could saying that love was never an option have hurt her?

“Do not cry,” he said in a low, rough voice. “I cannot bear to see you cry.”

But the tears were already sliding silently down her face. This time, she didn’t do anything to stop them. She didn’t try to wipe them away. It was as if she had surrendered to her feelings and was no longer even attempting to hide them.

He took a quick step towards her. All he meant to do was place a hand upon her shoulder to comfort her. He had dealt with his mother’s tears often enough over the years. Usually, all that was needed was a quiet presence.

But somehow, he bent his head towards her, fixating upon her face. Those bewitching eyes. Her lips were full and pearly pink. He watched, fascinated, as her mouth dropped open, the lips parting. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by the scent of her. Filling him, washing over him.

Hesitantly, he reached out, touching her lips with one finger. Her response was immediate. She closed her eyes, almost swaying towards him. He felt a sharp upsurge of desire, and before he could stop himself, he was pulling her towards him, and his lips descended upon her own.

He groaned in his throat, pulling her closer. Her lips were as soft and delectable as he had imagined. He deepened the kiss, opening her mouth wider with his flickering tongue. He felt her shudder in his arms and then the feel of her hard nipples pressed against his chest. His hands automatically sought them, kneading her breasts, ever circling.

She was turning into liquid beneath him, melting into the desire. He was losing all sense of time and place. All he wanted to do was keep kissing her, tasting her, feeling her….

But she suddenly jerked away, looking confused. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were glittering fiercely. Without a word, she turned and fled the room. His heart was pounding hard as the last of his arousal coursed through his body. He couldn’t have moved if he tried.

After a minute, he sank down into a seat, staring at nothing. He was still shaking with the aftermath of that fierce desire. He had always known he was attracted to her, and he suspected she felt the same. He had felt the sensual tension between them before, but it had been as nothing compared to what had just flared to life between them now.

He ran a shaking hand through his hair, trying to gain his composure. He must return to the parlour soon. He was sitting in the library of someone else’s home, and he didn’t even know the people well. But he guessed that it was better to not return as soon as she did. That might cause people to notice that they had both been missing at the same time, and the last thing he wanted to do was compromise her reputation.

He sat there, stunned, trying to absorb what had just happened. He had kissed many women in his life and done rather more than that with some of them. But the desire he had just felt for Lady Jane Metcalfe dwarfed all of it. He had never experienced such a strong reaction to a woman before. It completely floored him.

What was happening to him?

After several minutes, he stood up. He was composed enough to return to the parlour now. The fierce desire was under control. But somehow, he felt different. As if he wasn’t quite the same person who had left the parlour searching for her as the one who would return.

When he got back, everything was the same as when he had left. People were just mingling and chatting as always. One lady was seated at the pianoforte about to play. Freddie raised his eyebrows at him in an inquiring way, but that was nothing unusual. In the next moment, his friend turned his attention back to Miss Matilda Grey.

Jane was standing in a corner with her sister and cousin. She looked perfectly composed now, the flush gone from her cheeks. He knew she was aware that he had entered the room, but she refused to turn around and look at him.

He felt a pang of disquiet. He wanted her to look at him. He wanted her to acknowledge him, what had just happened between them. He didn’t want her to brush him off and run away.

His mind whirred in confusion. One part of him was still resolved to avoid her. But another, stronger part didn’t want that at all. He felt as if he was standing on the edge of a precipice, staring down into a dark chasm. One small step might be all it took to send him careering off the edge and into the abyss. One small step. A part of him longed for it. But another part was more scared than he had ever been in his life.

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