Page 37 of Drawn To You

“That means you’re mine tonight, baby girl.” I shut my eyes, enjoying the feel of his hands as they ran over my back and up to the zipper at the top of my dress. He brushed my hair over my shoulder shooting tingles down my spine. He slowly unzipped my dress, and I watched as his hooded eyes drank in every inch of my exposed skin as he pushed the dress down away from my body. My breasts were now on full display for him. Lily had told me that I shouldn’t wear a bra with this dress, and I was suddenly thankful I had listened because now Joshua’s mouth was on me, licking, sucking, and biting and my body was loving the feel of his mouth on my sensitive buds.

I knew I was soaked in between my legs. I wanted this so bad. It was like all the anger and betrayal I’d felt before was fading away, and I needed to release it once and for all.

A breathy groan left me as I started to grind on top of him, I wanted to feel more than the scrape of his jeans against me. He sucked my nipple into his mouth, and I moaned, running my nails through his hair, and tugging. When I felt him bite down the pain sent a flood right between my legs.

I stilled on top of him, and Joshua pulled back, looking at me deviously. My hands left his hair, and I moved to his shirt, ripping it up over his head. I extended my foot to the ground, and I moved off his lap, pulling the rest of my dress down over my hips. I stepped away from it slowly, loving the way he was looking at me right now.

His lingering gaze burned into me, and I reveled in every second of it. I watched as his abs tightened as I made my way back over to him, wearing nothing but my strappy heels and my lacey black panties. “I’ll never deserve you,” he whispered, grabbing my hips and looking up at me with the same intense look on his face that he’d had worn earlier.

“That may be true, or not…but who is to say,” I whispered, slowly lowering to my knees before him. My hands reached for the button of his jeans. “But we both deserve what is happening between us right here. We deserve to pause reality.” I pulled the zipper down and realized I was a little nervous. But I was acting on instinct, and I was eager for this moment with him. He tilted his head back, and his hands flexed on top of his legs when I pulled him from his boxers. I let go of my hesitation. There was no room for second guesses now. The ache between my legs intensified as I gripped him and stroked down to the base of his hard shaft and back up again.

I wanted him in my mouth. I wanted to watch him lose a grip on his tight control, because most of the time, he was the one in control. “Abby.” He breathed heavily as his hips bucked, and his perfectly chiseled stomach muscles tightened. My mouth moved over his hard length, and I licked my lips. I was completely entranced by every inch of his perfectly formed cock, but before I could fully take him into my mouth, his hands clamped down on my biceps, and he pulled me up off the floor and plopped me back down onto his lap.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” I let out a ragged moan as I felt him rub his cock against my wetness. It was saturating the thin fabric of my panties, the only thing that was separating us, and I knew he could feel my wet heat. “No fucking way will I let you suck me off if tonight is all we are going to have.” He swallowed, lifting up and shoved his jeans and boxers all the way down. Next thing I know my panties are being torn off me, and quickly thrown across the room before he gripped me tightly and brought me closer to him. “I know I don’t deserve you,” he said again, lining his cock up with my entrance. I ground against him, knowing how good it would feel, and boy did it. It felt so good I wanted to cry.

“Fuck,” he grunted, breathing into the crook of my neck. My hands wrapped around him as I started to move above him. He filled me completely. He was everywhere. His lips moved over every inch of my exposed skin. His tongue tangled with mine, and his hands seemed to roam in sync with his powerful thrusts. “Joshua,” I sighed as his hand came down in between our bodies, and he started rubbing tight little circles over my clit, causing my hips to move faster.

I was chasing after that high I knew only he could give. I could feel my orgasm building, and things were moving at a faster pace. The broken skin of his knuckles rubbed across my belly, and I looked down at the marks questioningly. His thumb never stopped working my clit, but he did slow his movements. “I may have knocked down a few doors before I found you.” I sucked in a surprised breath. God, this felt so good. I could feel something building inside me, and I knew I was about to come undone. I needed that joyful feeling that made me feel like everything was going to be ok, even if it was a lie. “The thought of anyone else’s hands on you drives me fucking crazy.” He bit my lower lip, and I cried out, feeling the ball of nerves in between my legs tighten. He started to slam into me faster, both of us frantic for each other.

“Oh God,” I moaned, moving once more before coming down in full, colossal waves around him. His arms clamped around my hips, and suddenly, he had me flipped over on my back on the bed as I rode out my orgasm, and it was the most intense, thing that I had ever felt in my life.

Joshua froze over me, as he filled me up to capacity. His words hardly registered as he came down beside my ear, collapsing and whispering. “I think I might fucking love you too, Abby.” My heart stopped as my eyes squeezed shut, and I tried to push away the uncertainty his statement caused to rise up within me. “But I fucking can’t.”

Once again his words cut me like a knife. “Why do you do this? Give me the most beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced only to follow them with the most painful?” “I told you before I was damaged, Abby.” “I understand that Shannon hurt you with her betrayal Joshua, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever extend your trust to anyone ever again just because one person you gave it to proved to be unworthy of it.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s how it has to be now. I won’t ever give anyone that kind of power over me again Abby. I can’t. So don’t ask me for it. You won’t like my answer.” he seethed, angry again all of the sudden. “I can’t keep up with your mood swings. What the fuck happened today that made you suddenly flip a switch and decide we were over?”

“It doesn’t matter what the reason was. It was enough to make me come to my senses.” he snapped. “You at least owe me the reason!” I demanded, yelling now. “Shannon is pregnant!” he yelled back and I felt my face drain of color and stomach bottom out. Did he mean with his baby? No, he wouldn’t have slept with her after everything, would he? I felt gutted. Part of me wanted to walk out of the room before he had the chance to tell me the ugly truth. My face must have shown my train of thought because he quickly explained. “No, God no, Abby. It’s not mine. It’s Roberts baby.” he reassured me.

I was slightly relieved but could take no comfort in it because of the thought that immediately followed. I quickly started dressing wanting to get away from him now. “You know what Joshua. You’re right, this can’t happen again. But not because of your inability to trust or love me. It’s because you are still in love with her. God only knows why. She doesn’t deserve it.”

“That’s bullshit, Abby. I don’t fucking love Shannon. I didn’t even really know her. The person I thought I loved didn’t even really exist. It was a lie!” he snapped. “Maybe so, but regardless. You wouldn’t be so mad at her if you didn’t still have feelings for her. God, I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it before.” I got up and left him sitting there looking stunned and speechless.

When I got to the door on my way out I paused, “You know, I would have loved you with everything I had if you would have only given me the chance. But instead, you tossed me aside for the memory of a woman who never even existed. I might have low self-esteem Joshua, but I do have some pride and I won’t keep begging for scraps of love from a man who foolishly chooses to give his portion to someone so undeserving. Goodbye Joshua.” I say with my head held high and my spine ramrod straight as I turn and walk away from the only man that I ever loved.

Twenty Eight

Bad to Worse

Joshua

Abby is fucking pissed off at me, and rightfully so after the way, I treated her at Maddox’s party. And I feel sick every time I remember the look on her face when she saw me with my arm around Jessica. I can’t even face her today, especially after my poor treatment of her after we slept together.

I don’t know what I was thinking dropping the bomb of Shannon’s pregnancy on her minutes after my cock had been inside her. I know I need to apologize. I was angry at Shannon and I took it out on Abby again. It seems to be a recurring behavior of mine. I know I’m a fucking ass, but yet every time I find the nerve to fall to my knees and beg her for forgiveness, I remember how much it cost me the last time I put my trust in a woman and that’s all it takes for my resolve to push her away to come back full force. If I had a decent bone left in my body I’d end it with her once and for all, for her sake alone. But I’m a selfish bastard and I keep pulling her back in.

Well, now I don’t have to worry about it because after last night I’m sure she wants nothing to do with me. When she accused me of still loving Shannon I was stunned. I fucking don’t, but maybe she had a valid point. If I didn’t care about her anymore why was I still so hurt by her betrayal? I was about to pick up my phone and call Abby when it started to ring.

I didn’t recognize the number but I answered anyways. “Hello,” “Hello, may I speak to Mr. Joshua Castillo., please?” A woman’s voice I didn’t recognize sounded on the other line. “This is he, what is this regarding?”

“Mr. Castillo, my name is Ashley and I’m calling from the Whittier Presbyterian Hospital, I’m sorry to have to inform you that your father was brought in earlier today in an ambulance after he suffered a stroke.” The words were a punch to the gut.Please be OK, Dad. “Is he OK?” I asked dreading the answer. “It’s probably best that you get down to the hospital right away, sir. Unfortunately, the doctors are saying that it doesn’t look like he is going to make it through the night.” and just like that my world crashed and burned for the third time this year. I was fucking wrecked.

* * *

Abigail

I was sitting at my usual table outside JavaCo and I kept glancing down at my phone on the table because, despite my iron resolve to stay away from him, I was hoping to see a message from Joshua, wondering when I’d see him again.

It had only been a couple of days since everything had seemed to finally come together between us only to fall apart again at Maddox’s party, and things between Joshua and me were still rocky. He went right back to keeping his distance from me like he said he would. I hadn’t even heard from him at all since that night; Lily helped me by making sure I didn’t break down and call him as much as I wanted to.

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