Page 25 of Drawn To You

Then he leads me further into the darkness behind the line of thick trees and I go willingly, foolishly following him as a shiver shoots down my spine. My palms start to sweat as my core clenches with anticipation. There’s something exciting about being alone with him in the dark where no one can see us. Joshua grabs my wrist and pulls me to him and pushes me until my back is flat against a tree and he inches closer, his arm propped up on the tree above my head, caging me in as he stares down at me.

Without thinking I slip my hand up the front of his shirt and brace it against his chest, the feel of his bare skin against mine does something to me that I’m not entirely sure I’m ready for. I feel his rapid heartbeats against my palm, and I stretch out my fingers, my breaths now coming out as rapid, gasping pants.

“I understand if you need to walk away from this Abby, just don’t ask me to be the one to do it because I don’t think I can,” Joshua whispers as he leans in even closer, his hand gripping at my waist starts to trail down my body, passing over the curve of my hip, and sliding right down my thigh, sending goosebumps over every inch of skin he claims. His dark, intense eyes bore into mine, holding me captive at this moment.

I’m holding my breath, unable to look away as he continues to hold me captive, my body, my heart, my mind. At this moment, he owns everything that I am. Whatever he is going to want from me, it’s already his to take.

“We both know we shouldn’t do this, things are already complicated and this is only going to confuse things more.” “Maybe I want to confuse things.” “When is this going to end? Haven’t you toyed with me enough?”

“Not even close.” “What more do you want from me, Joshua?” I whisper, his intoxicating scent slowly breaking down my will to resist. “You’ve already hurt me by ghosting me all week after we slept together. Consider me thoroughly played, or does this not end until you’ve gotten everything out of me you can? Do you want me on my knees? Do you want me to just bend over and give you everything I have? When will it be enough for you?”

His dark eyes linger on mine, and I finally see the truth shining in them. He has no fucking clue. He doesn’t know what he wants from me, not only that but he doesn’t know just how much will be enough for him. He steps in closer to me, and I wish he was even closer still, his lips barely a breath away. “You don’t want this, otherwise you wouldn’t have ghosted me.” “Don’t I?” he argues, his tone dropping even lower, desire coating his voice.

“I fucking love the way your breath catches every time I’m close, and when I touch you …” he says, pausing for a moment as his fingers slowly dance back up my thigh, making me clench. He sees my reaction to his touch and a smugness flashes in his eyes, knowing just how right he is.

“You can’t lie to me, Abby. You want this, as much as I do. I can’t promise you a happily ever after, I won’t lie to you. I don’t know how this ends. You might hate me, you might even despise me, and I’ll most likely deserve that, but it doesn’t change the fact that we want each other.”

I shake my head in denial, unable to think clearly as his fingers continue moving further up my thigh. “You’ve got it all wrong,” I tell him. “I’m not the one who searched you out tonight. I see you, Joshua, and you might be willing to jump head first into this, but you are not the one who risks getting hurt. You’re the one holding all the cards and I don’t know if I want to keep playing with someone who has the deck stacked against me.”

A low growl rumbles from his chest, desire pouring out of him as his lips brush punishingly against mine. “What do you want from me?” I ask again. “You really want to know what I want?” he questions, his hand slipping between my thighs and cupping my pussy, firmly squeezing and sending a wave of desperation crashing through me.

“I want to feel you cum on my fingers. I want to feel your pretty little cunt squeezing my cock, and I want to see the expression on your face as it happens. I want to hear you scream my name as I fuck you. But what I want most of all is for you to know that nobody will ever make you feel as good as I can & that I own your pussy!”

I have to remind myself to breathe after he says that. I look him in the eyes for a moment before I slowly move my lips over his once more. “Is that what you want?” I ask, pausing between kisses to watch his response as he slowly nods his head. I let out a breathy whisper, hating that he is right. Even though I know he is going to hurt me, and the thought of him breaking my heart paralyzes me with fear, and despite all the reasons that I know shouldn’t, I still want him. “Then do it.”

Joshua’s lips crush against mine once again and I melt into his touch, his tongue sweeps into my mouth and claims me as no one ever has before. My heart pounds in my chest, the wild beat matching with his, he’s barely even touched me, and I already feel desperate for more so I grind against his hand, and he growls into my mouth before moving his hand up my skirt.

His hand slips inside my panties, trailing over my pussy until his fingers are spreading me and I feel him brushing over my sensitive clit, making me gasp. His lips pause on mine, and I can feel him smile against me before pressing down, his fingers circling over my clit, with the perfect amount of pressure. “Fuck,” I moan into his mouth. My hands beneath his shirt move up over his shoulders, and I hold onto him as if my life depended upon it. Just when I think this is the most intense pleasure I’ve ever experienced, he slowly pushes two of his thick fingers inside of me, stretching me wide.

“Why didn’t you call me back this week?” I ask, not sure why I’m picking this exact moment to bring it up again, but it’s bugged me all week. Not hearing from him had more than disappointed me, it had stung. He looks intense for a moment and I think he is weighing his words, when suddenly he smiles as he adjusts the angle of his fingers, making me gasp. “I’m really sorry I didn’t call, but I’m trying my best to make it up to you now.” He had me there so I grin back at him, but before I can respond or even think about what to say, his lips are back on mine.

My nails graze his shoulder as he kisses me passionately, and it’s so powerful, that if he wasn’t actively kissing me I’d be speechless. Joshua’s fingers curl at just the right angle and as he pushes them further into me, I moan and clench around him, completely losing myself to his touch. His thumb works my clit as his fingers destroy me, causing me to feel things I’ve never felt, and fuck, I’m going to cum!

“Joshua,” I moan, my breath coming out in sharp, wild pants, wanting so much more. “I know, that’s my good girl,” he tells me, as he steps into me closing that final gap between us, his body pressed right up against mine. “Give it to me, baby. Let me see you.”

My head slams back and I feel his eyes heavy on my face, watching me as I come undone under his touch. He applies more pressure to my clit, his thumb circling over it in small, determined strokes as his fingers slide deep inside of me. He doesn’t stop, pushing me closer and closer to the edge until finally, I explode around him. My orgasm racks through me, and I cry out his name as I squeeze down around his skilled fingers, coming harder than I ever have in my life. I can feel my pussy contract as my high rushes through my body, my nails digging into the warm skin of his shoulders while hard, sharp pants tear from my throat.

“Joshua,” I breathe, but he doesn’t stop, letting me ride out my high on his fingers, pure euphoria pulsing through my veins. “ You are fucking beautiful when you cum for me,” he tells me, his voice raspy with desire. I slowly come down from my high and as he pulls his fingers free, I immediately feel as though I might have just made a fatal mistake. I feel as if I just lost another piece of myself to him and no matter what happens now that piece will forever belong to him.

I’m about to turn away from him but when he brings his fingers to my lips and pushes them inside, my heart starts to race all over again. I open wide and do as he asks. “Suck.” My lips close around his fingers, and I roll my tongue over them, watching as desire sweeps through his gaze.

He slowly draws them out, and before I get a chance to even swallow, his lips are back on mine, tasting me on my tongue. He groans into my mouth as I melt into him again, not having nearly enough of him. All too soon, he pulls back, his hand falling to my waist and squeezing as he meets my satisfied stare.

“Watch yourself, Abby,” he murmurs, his tone so low it rumbles against my chest. “You were right about one thing, I don’t know how much is going to be enough and I can’t promise I won’t take it from you. But I can promise I will never lie to you.” And with that, he turned his back to me and walks away, leaving me staring after him. I sink to the dirty ground, shame filling me as tears well in my eyes.

Twenty One

Old Nightmares

Abigail

No…the word rose in my mind as I struggled to move, but I couldn’t I was paralyzed by fear. Someone was in my room. The sound of the door closing must have startled me awake, making me flinch. I tried to force open my eyes, but exhaustion weighed them down. The room was still spinning from all the alcohol I had consumed earlier, keeping me under. Whoever was in my room was getting closer. No! No!

I snapped awake with the words, driving me to the surface of consciousness. The memory of that night and the image of him rose slowly in my mind. I could still remember the feeling of the cold bathroom floor against my skin, as I lay there, afterward, crying, and bleeding. The memory was a shot of adrenaline. I forced open my eyes and push away thoughts of the Monster that haunts me. Painful heaves rip from the back of my throat as I double over, clutching my stomach and I curl into the fetal position. It’s been months since I last had the old recurring nightmare. I thought I was finally starting to put it all behind me, especially seeing as how I had somewhat of a major breakthrough with Joshua.

Before him, I never allowed anyone to get close enough to touch me sexually. I avoided dating completely because of it. But for some reason, I didn’t have those reservations with Joshua. It just felt natural with him and I loved his touch. I don’t understand it but it’s true. Somehow he got past my defenses and showed me I can enjoy sex without being haunted by my past. Being with Joshua makes me feel free. At least when I’m caught up in the moment.

Rolling out of bed I try to forget my nightmare. I used to obsess and try to remember the details, and piece together the events of that horrendous night so I could pinpoint the exact moment I went wrong because no matter what I will always feel like it was my fault. Even though I know logically I was a victim. I can’t shake that weird sense of guilt and shame. I had gotten wasted for the first time ever at my older cousin’s insistence I drank with him while he was home on temporary leave from the military. I drank just about a full bottle of vodka that night. It wasn’t until later that I realized he had been feeding me alcohol on purpose, he’d all but poured the liquor down my throat. I hate how easy it was for him to manipulate me that night, and I absolutely despise myself for it. Tears well in my eyes at the thought, despite my efforts to stop them.

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