Page 22 of Drawn To You

“You’re so damn beautiful.” Awe in his voice, he took my face between his hands and settled between my legs. A gentle smile on his face as he slowly pressed his body into mine.

Then his hand was between my legs again and I felt him finger me, my body tense. “Just let me know if you need me to stop and I will.” My eyes closed as he tunneled deep within me, tight strokes with his long fingers. He brought me so close to the edge before he reached for his pants and put a condom on before he was on top of me again. I knotted my arms behind his neck, my chin tilting up as he entered me, and my eyes rolled back.

God. So full, so tight. He had the capability of ripping me apart, which he must have known because he eased into me so slowly. “Open up for me,” he urged, sucking my earlobe into his mouth and nipping it. He rocked his hips. “Let me in.” His hips dropped hard the moment I gave him the sign, my legs spreading apart the instant the discomfort subsided, and the pleasure took over.

“That’s it, baby,” he panted, his hips rolling in quick succession. “I got you.” His fingers pinched my aching nipples. He fucked me with deep long strokes while he pleasured my breasts. “Joshua, fuck.” I buried my cries into his neck, tasting his sweat. “Harder. Please.” He catered to me on that, fucking me harder and faster. Raising my arms, he stretched me, and he swelled hot inside me. He didn’t stop his hips until the fire exploded in my core and he felt me as I spasmed around his big cock, completely lost as he pulsed hard inside me.“That’s it. That’s my good girl. Cum for me, baby,” he coached, so tender. Only then did he seek his own release, pumping into me at a more frenzied pace before he too came, his eyes rolling back.

Spent and finished now, he continued to kiss me. Gathering my breasts, he squeezed them gently before rolling us to our sides and cradling and massaging my back. He kissed my neck. “Don’t run away from me.” Joshua pulled out of me but didn’t let me go. He tucked me tight into his embrace. A momentary wall of safety and security.

Then I looked up and met his eyes, “What are we going to do now, Joshua?” He cupped the back of my neck and searched my eyes before saying, “We acknowledge this thing between us. We stop fighting it and, fuck, I figure out what I’m going to do with my mess with Shannon.” I shook my head. “And what? We sneak around in the meantime? Behind her back, just like she does to you?” His big shoulders lifted. “I don’t want to, but I’m willing to do that to see you, and exactly my point, she has been doing the very same thing with Robert, so what does it matter what we do at this point? Where is the moral high ground in this fucked situation? I don’t have all the answers right now Abby.”

I wanted to scream about how outlandish this entire situation was. This won’t work. “This will work, Abby.” He took my hands, his eyes imploring me. “Or maybe it won’t. But at least, we can give it a chance, right?” I released a heavy breath, and I knew he was going to get his way with me, he always got his way with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he covered the back of my head. Bending my head forward, he placed his forehead against mine.

“I won’t force you to do this, this is your decision, Abby, but this is all I can give you right now,” he said before he wrapped his big arms around me. I closed my eyes, not understanding why his cheating wife could ever not love him back. Joshua was so easy to love. God. I hugged him tighter to me. “OK, Joshua, we’ll try, but I can’t do this forever.” “I know,” he acknowledged, “who knows, you may be tired of my ass before you know it and kick me to the curb before we have to worry about this anyway.” he teased and I knew he was trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, pretty girl, let’s get dressed and back to the car before we get caught in a public place with our clothes off and have to register as sex offenders.” “Oh, God! What were we thinking?” “I don’t think we were Abby.” he smiled as he stood and then helped me up. Then we quickly dressed and darted to my car. My heart beating a mile a minute at the thought of getting caught by anyone.

Nineteen

Complicated Is An Understatement

Joshua

I regretted the arrangement I had to make with Abby, forcing her to be my dirty secret. She deserved more than that, deserved better, I knew that, but I had to keep what we had going on a secret. I really was a selfish bastard, but I had to have her in my life in some capacity, she was under my skin. I looked forward to her text messages and talking to her on the phone whenever we had the chance. It wasn’t like it was even that hard for me to find the time with Shannon so wrapped up with her affair with Robert. She was always up at his apartment when I was home, I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to move some of her shit up there. For all, I know maybe she had? The situation was laughable.

I know I needed to make a move, but she had my hands tied, if I leave Shannon that means I’ll be leaving my boys too and I just can’t bring myself to do that. I know I’d be granted some custody time with them but I know Shannon, she’ll fight tooth and nail for the majority of the time, she’d never be fair and agree to 50/50 custody. She’d want to maintain control over the situation and she wasn’t above using our children as pawns.

But this situation can easily blow up in my face if what is happening between Abby and me gets on Shannon’s radar. Her attention may be directed elsewhere but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want my attention on her. Shannon craves attention like it’s a drug, she may not want me anymore, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still want me to want her. She would not be happy if she thought another woman was taking attention away from her.

Fucking hell. My heart raced with anger and I clenched my jaw, as I noticed the text from Shannon lighting up my phone. The struggle not to ignore her tested me like never before. Last night she went out with Robert again after we had a huge fight and stayed out all night. All of her angry drunk messages from last night went ignored, and clearly, she was a little sore at my radio silence, but what did she expect? Maybe she really thinks I’m an idiot and that I can’t put two and two together and realize she’s fucking Robert? I wish I had actual proof that they were fucking, but I don’t need it anymore. What does it matter anyway? I’ve moved on from trying to save my pathetic excuse of a relationship with Shannon, I only care about my boys.

Her threats to leave me mean nothing, and despite how much I don’t want to be living here with her lying cheating ass with the dude she’s cheating on me with right next door, I can’t bring myself to leave my kids. But just facing the fact that it’s really over between Shannon and me feels like the beginning of what could be a fresh start.

Call me a sucker for punishment because I keep scrolling thru my phone, finding the messages from Shannon last night and this morning.

Shannon: I’m sorry, babe. Can we just start over? I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying last night. Surely you can forgive me, right? I’ve just been cooped up with the kids and needed to get out of the house before I went crazy.

Shannon: You are gone all week, you have no idea how hard it is for me to have to deal with the kids all by myself! What more do you want from me?

Shannon: Missed Call.

Shannon: Missed Call.

Shannon: Missed Call.

Shannon: Why aren’t you answering your phone? Please, babe. We can go out alone tomorrow and spend some quality time together, I’ll get my mom to watch the boys.

Shannon - Joshua, can you just reply?!

Shannon - Fine, don’t answer and see what happens!

Shannon - Missed Call.

Shannon - Missed Call.

Shannon - Where the fuck are you?

Shannon - Joshua! Where are you?

Shannon - Missed Call.

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