Page 11 of Drawn To You

“What? That’s bullshit, why aren’t you filing for divorce right now as we speak?” Maddox spat. “Yeah, I don’t know about that yet. I have no solid proof so she keeps denying it. But all the signs are there and I don’t think I can ignore them anymore, you know?”

“Well, fuck dude. If you need back up let me know. I’ll take a mother fucker down.” Maddox said, in what I knew was his misguided way of trying to help.

“Thanks, Bro, but you know that’s not my style, besides an assault charge is all it would take to cost me my job and I’d possibly lose my kids,” I said and trailed off letting a few seconds of silence hang between us, causing a rise of tension to twist inside my stomach.

Josh clasped a comforting hand to my shoulder tightly and looked at me intently. “I know I’ve already said it, but I’m really sorry you are going through this. I just want you to know that we are all here for you if you need us.” I could see the concern in his eyes and the sincerity that I always knew I could count on.

Whereas I had always been the comedian and Maddox had always been the wild one in our group, Josh was the level-headed one. He was the glue that held us together.

“So, what are you going to do?” Maddox asked and I let out a frustrated sigh. “To be completely honest, I haven’t got the slightest clue. I know she is cheating even though she denies it. For the longest time, I wanted to believe her. But at this point, I’d have to be blind too. He is always around. She spends more time with him than she does with me. We haven’t been intimate in months. She’s always drinking and all we ever seem to do is fight. Neither of us is happy and I can’t help but feel like I failed my family. I have to consider my children. They have to come first.”

“That’s a heavy load to bear brother. But you can’t stay in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of your kids. That’s not healthy and it only sets a bad example for them.”

“I know. But the thought of having to drag them through a divorce kills me. Having to be reduced to a part-time Dad. Not getting to come home and see them at the end of each day. Not to mention how would I financially support two households? I already know Shannon will not want to work. She has made that clear on more than one occasion and I’ve always supported her decision to stay home, but how would that work if we split up?”

I drag a frustrated hand through my hair. “I’m just fucked no matter what I do!” “You’ll get past this. I’m not saying it won’t hurt, you’ll feel it, accept it, and eventually figure your way through it.” Josh responded and I nodded, knowing there wasn’t much else to be said.

We continued to play a few more rounds and threw back some beers together and I tried to forget my troubles at home for the moment and just enjoy the rest of my night out with my friends. It helped just knowing that if I needed them they would be there to back me up.

Later, that night as I’m saying my goodbyes, my phone starts to go off and what I see has me feeling sick to my stomach because nothing good ever follows these four words from her.

Shannon: We need to talk.

Shit. That sounds serious. My gut sinks and I’m certain my night’s about to take a turn, but I can’t even begin to guess what this could be about. As if things aren’t bad enough already, judging by the tone of her text, it’s about to get worse. That’s great. More drama from her. Just what I fucking need.

Joshua: I’m on my way home.

Ten

Exposed Secrets & Half-Truths

Abigail

Just over an hour ago, the sun was setting in a clear sky, but as if it was some kind of an omen of what’s to come, a storm has rolled in out of nowhere. My grandparent’s house is quiet when I enter, aside from the rain pelting the windows and an occasional rumble of thunder. The only light I see comes from the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard. I head in that direction, thinking my Grandpa is probably out back working on a car and I want to ask him if he knows where my Grandma hid my check.

I know it came in the mail even though she lied and told me it wasn’t here yet. I’ll never understand why my Grandma takes pleasure in playing her twisted games and doing things like hiding my mail from me. She knows how much I need my paycheck. Luckily my direct deposit is officially set up now and I won’t have to worry about my paycheck coming in the mail anymore.

My steps echo through the house as I cross the tile floor. As soon as I reach the door I hear the raised voices—my Uncle Dwight and my Grandpa—and it sounds like they’re arguing again. No surprise there. They were always fighting about something or another.

Deciding I didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire I backed away from the door and went to search my grandma’s hiding places for my mail. “Let’s see what we have here,” I sigh to myself, pulling up the stack of envelopes shoved in the bread box and searching for anything with my name on it.

“Bingo,” I mutter to myself as I find my check halfway down the stack. I shove the envelope into my purse and prepare to leave, making a mental note to change my mailing address asap. On the way out the door, I pause for a second and feel my heart clench at the memories that flood my system as I look at the picture of my Uncle Dean hanging there. For the first time today, I realized that it will be three years next month. Three years since my Uncle took his own life.

They say everyone grieves in their own ways. But apparently, my family’s way of dealing with loss was to not deal at all. That’s right, complete avoidance and abject apathy. Trying to cope with the loss of someone you love from suicide can be devastating. Three years later I was still grappling with ways to navigate the shock, confusion, and despair and begin the healing process while the majority of my family refused to admit there was even a problem.

I opened the door and noticed right away that it stopped raining. Good, maybe Royce’s party won’t get flooded after all. I wasn’t looking forward to going to another party tonight but it was Friday night and the girls wanted to go. It was simple, I wanted to hang out with my friends, and that’s where they would be so I was going.

* * *

Later that night I arrived at our friend Royce’s house for the party and decided to find my friends before I got a drink. I took in my surroundings and came to two conclusions. One, there were just as many people as I feared there would be, bodies everywhere. The second thing I noticed, much to my relief, was that my friends were already there. I made my way over to where they were sitting in a spot off to the side of the backyard. Thankfully, the music wasn’t as loud back here so we could actually hear each other enough to carry on a conversation.

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” Lily yelled over the music, before disappearing into the masses of bodies. As I took my seat, Rain looked assessingly at me for a moment and I said, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“How did it go at your Grandparent’s house today? Were you able to find your check?” she asked and I nodded. “Yeah, I found it; everything was fine, I didn’t wait around because I wasn’t up for running into anyone today.” I gave her the rundown and she smiled, now seemingly assured that I was okay.

An hour and four shots later, I was relaxed and having a good time talking and laughing with my friends. “Babe! Hey! Oh my god, hi.” Lily’s words slurred just a tiny bit as she threw herself at Josh when he found his way through the crowd to where we were sitting. Josh’s eyes bulged as he caught Lily against his chest before looking at the rest of us. “How much has she had to drink?” he asked with a smile. “Since we’ve been here? Two drinks and four shots.”

“So, am I to assume that you’re having a good time and won’t be ready to leave anytime soon?” “Guilty as charged, sir. You’ll have to take me by force.” She gave Josh a not-so-subtle wink. The rest of us couldn’t help but smile at their playful banter. Just then I noticed a familiar face across the backyard.

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