Page 59 of Dead Wolf Rising (Bad Moon Academy 3)

This goodbye? This wretched feeling roiling in my gut? It’s real.

Final.

And because I might never see her again, I’m mad. Do I even get to feel angry when I want her to go? Who am I to tell her to leave and then be upset about it?

Letting go is never easy,Joan whispers through the bond.It’s not a bad thing to feel, Raven. You love her.

Joan is trying to help, and I know deep down I love my mom. I love her so much it is literally hurting me, and for both of our sakes, she needs to move on. All we’re doing is hurting each other. I’m rejecting any of the attention she tries to give me in her ghost form, and she’s a constant source of distress for me.

“Okay,” Mom says. “I’ll go.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I simply nod.

The muted gray clouds seem to grow darker, matching my turbulent emotions. She searches my face, those once bright eyes are filled with remorse. She raises her hand, and she cups my face. I hold my breath as she leans in to kiss my cheek. When her soft lips press against my skin, I can’t help but sob.

Using the moment to her advantage, she wraps her arms around me, tucking my head into her shoulder and holding me like she loves me. You know when you’ve cried so hard you think it would be impossible for you to cry anymore? Well, it isn’t impossible. I’ve shed so many tears for this woman, but it’s as though they’ve all come back to spill out of me, wringing me dry all over again.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” She whispers her apology a thousand times, and I soften in her arms ever so slightly, lifting my arms to hug her back.

“I don’t like hating you,” I admit, wiping my hand under my nose.

She sniffs, and I think she’s crying, but I don’t lean back to check. This moment is fleeting, and I’m going to take it for what it is.

“I won’t tell you to stop hating me.” She takes a shaky inhale. “But you have to let go, baby. Otherwise, it’ll eat you up. You’re stronger than me. Don’t cling to your emotions like I did.”

Holding each other a little while longer, we fall silent and simply absorb the bond between mother and daughter. This is the most I’ve felt like she was who she used to be in over two years. I still don’t know that I forgive her for everything she’s done, but I can do what she suggested.

I can let go.

I’ve done so in every other aspect of my life, so it’s time for me to make peace with the past.

“Go find your friend. I’ll be here until you finish.” She eases me out of her arms and glances over my shoulder. “I have another goodbye to make.”

Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I nod and turn away, walking down the road. She’s going to tell my father goodbye, even though he can’t hear it anymore. I don’t know exactly what happened to his soul after what she did, but I know he never came to visit. He either moved completely on to the Underworld, or she destroyed it. I’m choosing to believe it was the former because I’m tired of being angry with her.

The farther I walk the more the landscape changes. The road curves, and a blooming black and white forest stands before me. I hadn’t seen it before, so I’m assuming the Other World magic is to blame. I slow my pace and glance around. Aside from an old, abandoned barn, there’s nothing out here. Shooting a look over my shoulder, I’m surprised to find more trees at my back, completely blocking my way. Looks like I’m being herded in this direction.

My stomach cramps with nerves. I’ve never wandered this far into another realm. I don’t know if it’s safe, but I’ve never felt threatened. Swinging my gaze back to the black and gray canopy, I chew on my bottom lip. I’m being led through the trees for a reason. I can only hope there’s not something sinister waiting for me.

I’m picking up really sketch vibes.

Me too, but we have to do this.

Joan huffs, pacing back and forth in my mind. She’s ready to take over if I need her to.

I start into the trees, hating how they press in and envelop me. Branches reach for me, and shrubs snag at my clothes. The birds in this forest sing a haunting song, something that reminds me of Norse mythology. Like something you might hear when in Valhalla. A lone howl rises through the air, chilling my blood and causing goose flesh to ripple down my spine.

Like a kaleidoscope, everything shifts without warning, and I’m no longer standing in the woods. Cold air wraps around me, and I rub my arms, glancing around the barely lit room which smells of must and decay. A faint dripping sound is the only thing that breaks the silence. Moving my eyes along the shelves on the wall, I take in the glass jars, noticing each is a slightly different size and shape. A small door sits in front of me. Worn wood, old metal knob, and an ancient lock.

Morg’s sanctuary.

Fighting off a shiver, I go to the wall of jars and stick my hand inside the one I think Morg pulled the key out of when she brought me here the first time. There’s nothing but dried leaves—or at least I hope it’s leaves. Frowning, I try the next few, cursing under my breath when I come up empty handed every time. I take a step back and scowl at the wall.

“It has to be here,” I mutter to myself, then go back and start at the bottom, blindly reaching into each one and hoping no critters crawl out or attach themselves to my skin. The incessant dripping is louder, or maybe it seems that way because I’ve searched the entire bottom shelf and had zero luck.

“Three more shelves to go.” My pep talk sucks, but I start down the line of misshapen glass. Nothing in this row either. I kick the bottom of the shelf, making the jars rattle, and start on the third row. A few jars down, my fingers brush against cool metal.

“Yes!”

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