Page 54 of Blood Bound (Blood Mafia 3)

“Had I not taken you to begin with—”

“I’m sorry, is that your apology? Because if it is, it sucks.”

Mateo sighs and rubs his hand through his hair. I watch the Blood Mafia tattoo for a second, hating how much that symbol has come to mean to me.

It’s a symbol I sometimes hate and yet it’s a sign of a strange, deranged hope. That I’ll belong somewhere where I can be myself. No more pulling punches.

Freedom to be the psycho I was born to be.

Perhaps psycho is a strong word. Maybe lunatic is better?

I frown. No, that’s almost worse.

“I won’t apologize for taking you, Demi.” Mateo’s words snap me out of my mental spiral.

“Why?”

Colt and Grayson did, in their own ways.

“Because had I not taken you, I never would have found you and I wouldn’t give up finding you for anything. You were meant to be here.”

I glance away from the intensity shining in his dark brown eyes. He means every word. He’s not sorry he took me and he thinks I belong here, with him.

Is he wrong, though?

The thing is, I want him to be wrong. I also want him to be right. Essentially my heart can’t make up its mind if I’m happy he’s so obsessive or if I’m angry.

I’m so tired of being angry. There has to be light at the end of this tunnel, right? There has to be a way to get back to the Demi I was before all of this went down.

“But I am sorry for being the cause of whatever has happened to your friends and your parents. I never meant to cause you so much pain.”

Pressing my eyes closed, I fight off a wave of sadness for Tyra’s loss. “No, but you never think about how your actions hurt others, do you? It’s only about what Mateo wants or what will give Mateo the most benefit. Do you even give a damn about anyone else?”

The words fall from my lips before I can think better of it. I know he thinks about his people, I’ve seen it in action. Hell, I’ve been a victim of him worrying about his people—hello, neck snapping—so what I’m saying isn’t fair. I know I’m lashing out, but the words are out and I don’t know how to take them back.

Evelyn sucks in a breath and I shoot her an annoyed look. Stupid vampires and their eavesdropping with reckless abandon.

“My brother may be a lot of things, but no one has ever accused him of not caring about his people.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “That’s right, Evelyn. He cares about his people. He thinks through his actions when it comes to you all. With me? He takes and takes, he doesn’tthinkabout how it will affect me before he acts.”

Her eyes darken. “You’re wrong—”

“Enough, Evelyn,” Mateo says, cutting her off. “Demetria is right. I apologize for not giving your emotions consideration. I pledge to do a better job, I promise things will change.”

“Those are a lot of pretty words, Mateo. The problem with promises is, once you break them, you’re fucked.” I gaze into his dark eyes, holding his guarded stare before it becomes too much and I glance away.

“I won’t break my promise.”

Nodding, I pick my book up and pretend to absorb the words, turning page after page until we land.

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