Page 84 of Disorder (Elite of Elmwood 2)

“What about you? Did you send in any applications yet?” I asked. Dwelling on my pathetic situation would not make me feel better. I didn’t want to spend my time with Mads depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I could do that when I was alone.

All this talk of college had my thoughts turning to Ainsley. Our plan to go to school together seemed like a dream. A million years ago instead of just months. How sad. My future was sinking before my eyes. I had no choice but to sink or swim, and I was quickly drowning.

Mads picked at her black nail polish. “Yeah, I sent out a lot of applications, actually, to a bunch of schools. I don’t where I want to go and figured I’d pick one from whoever offers an acceptance.”

“Solid plan. You don’t sound excited. Aren’t you looking forward to college?”

“It just so much has changed over the last year. I know you can relate to that. Nothing is how I thought it would be.”

“It’s like you read my mind.” I’d fallen so far behind without even realizing it. Sometimes, it felt like I was forgetting myself, forgetting who I was.

I was really winning at life.

Chapter Seventeen

There was nothing fucking scarier than seeing a man’s face in your window at night. A scream rose in my throat, seconds away from shrilling throughout the dark room. My first thought was someone was trying to break in or Carter was snooping around. Tucked inside my bed, I swallowed the cry for help, the guy’s face coming into focus.

My speeding heart went from racing in fear to skipping with excitement. “Brock?” I mumbled, squinting through the dark. Unfolding myself from the tangle of sheets and downy comforter, I padded over to the balcony doors. “Are you insane? How did you get past security?” I asked through the glass.

He glowered from the other side. “Firefly, open the door.”

I quickly fumbled with the lock, sliding the door open. Startling aqua eyes ensnared mine, and before he finished walking over the threshold, I was on him. I don’t know what came over me. Perhaps it was the sudden surge of fright to realizing there was no danger at all. Well, not the kind that would stab me a million times and then toss my body into the pool. Maybe it was the separation from Brock. Or knowing he was with Ava during the day and probably nights too. The uncontrollable urge to possess him rushed over me.

Lifting on my toes, I drove my fingers into his hair as my lips sought his in the dark. I wasn’t thinking, because if I had been in my right mind, I wouldn’t have kissed someone who was possibly kissing my enemy, no matter the reasons behind those kisses.

But the only thing on my mind was how much I needed to remind him that I was real. That this thing between us that took control over us both couldn’t be denied or shoved aside. I wanted him to forget Ava existed. I wanted him to claimme, to possessme, to screammyname, to…

I couldn’t dare think l-o-v-e.

So I kissed him like my life depended on it, and in a way, it felt like it did. Kissing Brock was one of the things in my life that felt real. Despite all the drama surrounding us, when we were alone, just him and me, nothing else mattered. The games, the lies, the disorder all stripped away, leaving just the two of us.

He couldn’t fake this, not with me.

And whether he was ready to admit it or not, there was something between us. I could no longer lie to myself. He was like a drug I had no intention of kicking my addiction to.

Brock nipped at my lower lip until I parted for him. He slid his tongue between my lips, caressing my tongue, tasting, teasing me. My mouth opened wider as I angled my head to the side, kissing him deeper and longer. His tongue stroked over mine, inch by inch, and he moaned into my mouth.

I slowly ended the kiss but stayed wrapped up in him. “You liked living with me,” I murmured, our faces still so close, we shared breath.

He tilted his head to the side, his gaze roaming over my face and lingering over my lips. “What gives you that idea?”

“This,” I said, kissing him again. Heat flared through me, warming every corner of my body.

His hands moved to my hips, guiding me deeper into the room, toward the bed. “Are you sure we should be doing this?”

“Yes,” I breathed, attacking the button on his jeans.

“But your—”

I gave him a feline smile and tugged his ass to the edge of the bed. I sat down on the mattress, slipping my fingers into boxers. “Is asleep.”

“Josie—”

“I need you.” My fingers closed around him, freeing him the confines of his open jeans and boxers.

God, he was big, so hard. And I wanted him. Now.

I dipped my head, but right before I wrapped my mouth around the tip of him, I glanced up. His eyes burned like glowing stars as he glanced down at me. “I want to taste you,” I whispered, letting my warm breath brushing over his erection. My fingers stroked down the length of him as my mouth finally closed over him.

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