Page 36 of Pregnant With Their Babes

“When I came to… after the highwaymen were gone with the valuables and she was nearly gone…I crawled over to her and tried to rouse her. I was hit, so I couldn’t walk—I couldn’t help her. I begged her forgiveness. She awoke for a moment—long enough to say,“It’s not your fault, my sweet pup. I love you with all my heart. Please… tell your father to return my body to the sea… where I belong.”Oz paused, a faraway look to his face.“I still dream of that moment and her words. They haunt me, and I can remember that moment with such clarity—it’s as if it’s happening all over again.” Oz lifted his gaze to Dagr. “I told my father of her wish to return to the sea, but none of the rest. The witch knew of my guilt and her words.Allof them. I’venevertold another living soul what my mother said to me that day. Not even you.”

“My gods, Ozzy,” Dagr gasped. “What did she mean?Returnher to the sea?”

Oz shrugged. “She loved the ocean. She would take my brothers and I swimming as often as she could. It called to her just as it calls to me.”

“You still blame yourself for her death. Don’t you?” They’d crossed the subject a time or two over the years. The conversations had lasted mere moments before Oz had walked away, unable to face the emotions. Dagr had sensed Oz’s guilt and had tempted fate a few times, asking the same question. Each time, Oz had refused to answer. “Talk to me, Oz. It’s been so long… and for you to continue to hold on to that guilt… ithasto be eating you alive.”

Oz grew quiet.

For once, he didn’t walk away. “The highwaymen who raided us that day—I fought them versus simply handing over our valuables. I was thirteen… and I thought I could fend off three grownarmedvillains.” Oz looked into the distance. “One aimed his weapon at me—and fired—but the bullet missed its target. It hit her in the chest.” She paused, drawing in a deep breath. “Had I not fought, she might still be alive.”

“They’d killed off your father’s men first—if I recall correctly.”

“Yes,” Oz said.

“Oz—they were evil men. From the sounds of it, they had no plans to leave anyone alive that day. It was a miracle you survived. Youcannotblame yourself for what happened.”

Oz smiled, but the light of it failed to go to his eyes. “It’s easy to say, but not as easy to let go of.” He shrugged. “Both Brandt and Godfrey blamed me. My father never said it… but I could see it in his eyes. I couldn’t stand to see it anymore. Especially whenIblamed me.”

“So you ran away to the sea…” Dagr added. “Even though it were innocent.”

“Innocent? I sincerely doubt that.” He smiled wanly. “Somehow, I thankfully convinced you to come with me.”

“You were my best friend. I refused to let you go alone.” He sighed. “There wasn’t much convincing needed. Home wasn’t happy for me.”

Oz nodded. “I figured if I ran far enough, I’d stop seeing the looks in my brothers’ eyes… and the pain in my father’s face. The pity in the servant’s expressions. It was all too much for me to deal with.”

“I’m sorry, Ozzy. But I wish you’d trusted me enough to confide long ago.”

Oz’s expression went blank. “I thought—” Oz paused, tensing his jaw. “I feared—I feared you would think the worst of me. Knowing that I caused her death.”

Dagr moved closer and rubbed a palm down Oz’s back. “Never. You caused nothing.”

Oz leaned into him. The weight was welcome. Dagr held on tight, trying to give his friend strength.

“And now…” Oz glanced at their merman. “Llyr’s monsters might turn out to haunt me even more.” He scoffed. “She says I’ll see my brothers again someday.”

“They’re gone, Oz.”

Oz shook his head. “Maybe not. If what Llyr says is true…”

“I told you. It’snottrue,” Dagr whispered. “Noneof it.”

Oz eyed him. “She saidyousaw Llyr’s monsters. What did you see?”

“It was a foggy night, and I let Llyr’s stories get to me. A wallowing cat and a trick of the lights was all it likely was. Nothing more.”

Oz searched his face, seeking a truth Dagr wasn’t sure he trusted. Not after what had transpired. “I believe, Dag. Sheknewwhat my mother said. Verbatim.” He cast a look to the merman. “I think Llyr speaks truth. Perhaps it’s only in his mind, but… there’s no treachery in him. You have to sense that.”

Dagr eyed Oz, seeing the man he loved in pain. It broke him inside. He reached out and caressed Oz’s cheek. “This has opened old wounds. Don’t let Llyr pull you into a nightmare you’ll be unable to escape from.”

“Sometimes the only way to heal is to rip them open. I’ve held on to this pain for too long,” Oz said.

Dagr swallowed back sadness. “And he could do that for you when I couldn’t. Is that what you’re saying?”

“No,”Oz murmured, grasping Dagr’s shoulders. “Yes, he’s led me down this path, but it’s you I’m opening up to, Dag.You.”

Dagr held Oz’s gaze.

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