Page 74 of Sunset

“I love her with everything that I am. She’s it for me. I know that, and there’s no one else for me. But I finally get what she went through, and I have no idea how she forgave me, because I can’t forgive me.” I say the words that have been circling in my head for days.

“Why don’t you ask her that, instead of punishing her for doing it?” He says with a clip in his voice.

The vice around my heart tightens even more. That’s what I have been doing, isn’t it? Pushing her away, because I couldn’t understand it, instead of pulling her in and thanking her every day for it.

I don’t say anything to Kade, because I have no words.

“Lin is with her now. As your friend, I know what today is. But tomorrow, either get your shit together and fix this or let her go, because we both know she deserves better. Hell, if it was anyone else, and they hurt her like this, I’d be kicking their ass right now, anniversary or not.” He says, and then hangs up without another word.

I toss my phone down on the chair and lay down on the bench seat, rubbing my chest. Even the mention of letting her go, is almost too much to handle. But Kade is right, I need to get my shit together and fix this one way or another. To move past this, I have to find a way to forgive myself.

I close my eyes against the blinding sun and try to come up with a game plan.

* * *

I’m surrounded by the whole town, and wearing a tux, I couldn’t be happier, as I watch Brynn walk down the beach to me in the most beautiful wedding dress I’ve ever seen.

Her smile is blinding, and I don’t think I’ve seen her anymore gorgeous than she is right now. My heart races, as she walks up next to me.

She reaches up and wipes the tears off my face that I didn’t even know were there, before she cups my face and looks me in the eyes.

“I didn’t know I could love someone so much or be loved so much. Thank you for that. I love you, Jasper Adams, and I can’t wait to be your wife.” Brynn says.

I open my mouth to tell her how much I love her, but my dad walks up beside her first, and I feel like I swallowed my tongue.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He asks.

“She is. Always has been.” I say.

My dad smiles at me, before reaching over to hug me.

“I always knew you’d end up here. It was going to be a bumpy road, but I knew you two were meant to be together.” He nods at Brynn, who just smiles at us.

“How did you know?” I ask him.

“You always got up in your head too much. You’d forget to be thankful for what’s in front of you. It doesn’t matter how someone forgives you, just as long as they do. If they can forgive you, there’s no reason you can’t forgive yourself. I forgive you, Brynn forgives you, and your mother forgives you. What are you holding on to?” He looks at me and shakes his head.

“Relationships aren’t easy. If they were, they wouldn’t be worth a damn. You have to fight, Jasper. Do you hear me?” He grips both my shoulders, his smile is gone, and he looks serious.

“You have to fight. Promise me.” He says, almost in a panic.

I’m not sure what is wrong, but I know I’d do anything for my dad.

“I promise,” I say, as a blinding, white light takes over.

“Tell your mother I love her. And remember to fight, Jasper!” My dad says, his voice fading, as the white light takes over.

I sit up gasping, and realize it was all just a dream. One that seemed so real. Too real. A flash of white light followed by the crack of thunder jerks me to the present. A storm has rolled in, while I was sleeping. I quickly get the boat heading back towards the harbor.

The dream was so real, and I want it too bad. To marry Brynn. That’s the most important thing, and she’s the most important thing. What the hell have I been doing?

Another flash of lightning, and the waves start to toss the boat around. The sky opens up, and it down pours, making visibility almost nothing.

Brynn is going to kill me. What was I thinking, going out on a boat? After her parents died like this. I didn’t even check the weather, I just went. It’s like I wanted to do something she couldn’t forgive, but I need her to know how sorry I am.

I want her to know how amazing she is. I need her to know how much I love her. I need her to know that I need her. The boat is being tossed around, like it weighs nothing. But I start to see some of the lights from town. If I can just get into the inlet, the water will be calmer.

I reach for the life jacket and struggle to get it on, while making sure the boat stays on course. Once it’s on, I try to gather my surroundings a bit more. There’s light from two other boats nearby, telling me they weren’t prepared for the storm either. Both boats are bigger than mine, though.

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