Page 83 of Make Me Wild (Rich Demons of Darkwood 3)

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and there was Paxton and Cain, leaning against the side wall, their eyes not on the deck…but on me.

It was tragically funny, but there was still part of me that was hoping Bentley had been lying. Or that this was some sort of misunderstanding, and it was actually some other girl he’d buried under there.

Not that I wanted another girl to be dead. But I’d gladly trade almost any news other than the one I knew I was about to get.

Small shovels were handed to the officers who were underneath the deck while others went to work ripping up the top part of the deck.

A few minutes passed, and you could see the officers moving dirt around.

“It’s a body,” someone confirmed somberly.

I was aware that Stellan’s mom was screaming hysterically, but it was faint, like a story that wasn’t happening to me. My attention was focused on the darkness, waiting to get a glimpse, to know for sure. The other officers were hard at work, still tearing planks of wood off. Cain and Paxton joined in, and a few minutes later we were all able to look beneath the deck.

All we could see was a skeletal finger, poking out from where they’d pushed dirt off, but with every scoop of dirt, more of the body was uncovered.

I knew as soon as the rest of the arm was revealed, it was her. The friendship bracelet I’d given her for her birthday one year was wrapped around the bone, the colors still somehow bright amid the ruin.

I waited though, watching as they revealed the scraps of the vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt she’d found at a thrift shop, and the necklace that her father had given her. There was still plenty of flesh left, and when they revealed her face, I felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart a thousand times over.

“My baby, my baby,” Stellan’s mom was screaming as she rushed to get below the deck and grab her daughter. It took both Stellan and Remington to hold her back, and soon, medics were called in to give her something to calm down. Stellan’s dad came running up half an hour after her body had been uncovered. He fell to his knees, great wracking sobs coming out of a man I only remembered being happy.

Everything was chaotic and heartbreaking. Screams and tears, the sound of sirens in the air as more and more officers arrived.

And I stood there, frozen in place, staring at her body, wondering why it couldn’t have been me instead.

* * *

The days between finding her body and the funeral were hazy and fractured. Stellan’s mom had to be sedated the whole week, and his dad couldn’t do anything but look at pictures and cry, so it was up to us to plan something.

We spent hours on her obituary, trying to put into words the magic of Sophia. Magic that the world would forget in the next news cycle. We went through pictures, trying to decide which ones to blow up. Stellan and I picked out her fucking coffin. I was still healing, so at least the pain medicine I was on was able to numb the pain at least a little bit. I felt hollow, broken, destroyed.

Stellan walked around, angry at the world, snapping at everyone around him as he tried to find an outlet for the pain. He’d trashed the living room that first night, breaking all the pictures I’d admired, tearing the pillows apart, shattering the coffee table and the TV. No one tried to stop him. Stellan could destroy everything if he wanted; he deserved that after the hell he’d been through. After he’d lost basically his entire family because he had the bad fortune of being my next-door neighbor. I circled him warily, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary. I was afraid that any more interaction with me would just make everything worse.

Paxton slept with me every night. The nightmares were back, worse than ever. Real memories mixed with new ones. The sight of her body, her mother’s shriek of sorrow, the cockroaches that had been eating her insides. He’d hold me tight and tell me things would get better. But his words didn’t bring the comfort that they usually did.

I knew they were all worried about me; I’d walk into a room and their whispers would fade away as they hastily tried to cover up the fact that they were talking about me. I didn’t really care, though. Nothing seemed that important.

There was no viewing…obviously, since the body was in no condition. So we’d planned a “night of memories” in the high school gymnasium the night before the funeral, where all of her friends and family were invited to talk about all the good stories of Sophia. I found myself laughing for the first time as people talked about pranks she pulled, one-liners they still remembered years later. They talked about how kind she was, how she stood up for people, how they could still hear her laugh in their heads.

As the hours ticked by, I knew I needed to say something, but it was hard to summon the right words.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Remington whispered as Stellan stood up to talk. I just laid my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand, trying to get my thoughts together.

Stellan’s eyes were red as he stood there, but otherwise, he looked calm and in control. Everyone stared at him like they always had when he’d lived in this town—like he was everything. His reputation in this place would only grow after all of this, I was sure.

“I just wanted to thank everyone for coming tonight. I’m sure Sophia would be extremely happy about being the center of attention since she wasn’t one to ever shy away from the spotlight.” There were a bunch of smiles amongst the crowd, including mine. Sophia had been a star, a bright shining star in any crowd she found herself. We’d orbited around her presence.

My smile fell, though, when I thought about all the past tense words we would use for the rest of our lives when we talked about her. All of the remember whens.

My body shook as a sob ripped through me, and it was everything I could do to hold in the sound of it.

“This wasn’t how I wanted her story to end,” Stellan continued. “I was hoping until the very end that I’d be able to give her a hug, tell her how proud I was to be her brother. To hear her complain about how long I took to style my hair.”

More laughter filled the crowd at that one.

“I was trying to think what story to tell of her, and like most of you, it’s hard to pick just one. But what I ended up deciding, was that I wanted you guys to remember how well she loved. My little sister gave her whole heart to the people she chose to love, and it was one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received. I remember when I was being an idiot about a girl I was desperately in love with. And she came into my room and she told me, “Stellan, you only get one chance to find your soul mate. Don’t fuck it up.”

Stellan’s gaze was locked on mine as he spoke, and I hated it.

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