Page 18 of Relentless (Dark Confessions 3.50)

I stopped, taking a big swallow, the burning sensation feeling good. Nat watched me, clutching her glass in her hands.

“After that, I started to question my orders and looked into the targets more. I did my own background checks to make sure. When I saw yours come across, I knew it would change me. I just didn’t know how much. Meeting you made you real, and when I learned you weren’t a bad person, just that your father owed money and the rich guy, who didn’t even need it was taking you out as payment, I couldn’t do it anymore. You saved my life in a way.”

I looked up, finding her eyes watching me. She shook her head. “No, you did that, Byron.”

“I chose not to continue down that path, but you gave me a reason to walk away.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Never. I work for my money now, and I like what I do. I don’t go to sleep at night hating myself.”

“Why do I not seem to care you were going to kill me?” she asked in a small voice, peering into her untouched glass.

“Maybe because you can see the man I am? Or maybe because you have feelings for me, too?”

“Maybe,” she said, smiling. “But,” her smile dropped, and she looked down at the glass, “my life is complicated, and I don’t know how to do this. And…” she trailed off, continuing to look at the liquid she was twirling.

“And you might have feelings for the big guard who is so much less stealthy than I am in stalking you?” I quipped.

Nat looked up in surprise, a giggle leaving her. “I’d ask how, but I already know the answer to that.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not. I just don’t know how I feel about him yet.”

I watched her, thinking over everything I knew. “I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, but,” I sucked in a breath, “maybe we could figure something out between the three of us? I know Cami seems to have found a way to make it work. I want you in my life, and I’ll do whatever that is.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Nat sighed, not sounding convinced. She sat the glass down on the coffee table, looking at me. “Can I ask a favor for tonight?”

“Anything.” I leaned forward, wanting to touch her.

“Can I sleep here, and you just hold me? I think I need some comfort and time to think without sex clouding things.”

“Of course, Nat. I’d love that.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have to hide who I am or how I feel anymore, getting to hold you in my arms all night would be the best gift.”

She smiled and stood, reaching her hand out to me. Standing, I took it, but swept her up into my arms, a laugh leaving her at the gesture. Carrying her back to my room, I gently placed her on the bed and grabbed her a shirt to wear. While she got ready for bed in the bathroom, I locked up my place and turned everything off. I ignored my messages and crawled into bed, happy to be able to hold the woman I loved for once.

Eight

NATALIE

It had beena few days since Byron and I’d talked, and I still wasn’t any clearer about how my heart felt. It didn’t help that now, with everything going on with Jude, it seemed my brain wanted to pull everything up and analyze it. I should be focused on helping locate him, not my pathetic love life. I was the worst in a crisis.

My body felt antsy, and I couldn’t sit on this couch any longer. Standing, I motioned to Cami I’d be gone for a second. She had Immy in her lap, combing through her hair. After their discussion on Siren camp, Immy had fallen back into a ball, her thoughts consuming. It was good to see Cami and Imogen leaning on one another. They’d both been traumatized by Darren, and I think that knowledge bonded them in a way.

Pixel gave me a curious look, but returned to her phone, busy doing whatever it was she did. The TV played some reality show in the background, and it was the only sound and movement in the room as the images flickered across the screen.

Topher stood at the back, nodding to me when I passed, and I only had enough politeness left in me to smile back. Stepping out into the hall, I shook my hands, trying to shake the energy out of me. If I let myself think about it, I knew what I needed to do. I just wasn’t sure if I was brave enough for it today.

“Screw it. Nothing left to lose,” I mumbled, turning to walk back into the suite. The sound of the latch clicking shut had me questioning my decision, but my feet spurred me on, and I found myself in the kitchen. Beau was at the stove, stirring something, and I paused, my words seeming to dry up at the sight of him.

His chestnut brown hair was tousled, and I wondered if he’d had any sleep. I knew he cared about Jude as much as the rest of us, and imagined this was affecting him just as hard.

“Beau, I was wondering if we could talk for a moment?”

---