Page 40 of Smudged Lines (Tattooed Hearts Duet 2)

He nodded, and we both moved at the same time, embracing one another as we cried. “He was your friend too, and he would never want you to carry around that guilt, Si. He wouldn’t blame you, either.”

“I failed him, though, and I failedyou. I wasn’t a good best friend. I didn’t watch over you like I’d vowed to do. I let you down, I let your father down, butespeciallyDunc.”

“No, Simon.” I rubbed his back, my tears rolling down his bare chest as we clung to one another. This had been way overdue, and I registered now how much we’d needed this. Hiding hadn’t brought me anything but more pain.

“I was stupid for running away from you, for drinking alone like I did. I was just so hurt, and I wasn’t thinking. My whole world felt like it had been blown apart. I can own that now, that I didn’t handle it the best, but I’m also not to blame for what occurred after.” Pulling back, I held his face in my hands. “Neither of us are, only the person who killed Duncan.Only them,do you hear me, Simon Fisher?”

He nodded, bringing his hands to mine on his face. Leaning his forehead down, we stared at one another for a bit before I leaned back, wiping his tears away. “Wow, I hadn’t expected this many tears before breakfast, but I oddly feel better,” I admitted, chuckling through them.

“Me too. But I have some more things I need to say to you.”

“Okay,” I accepted, taking a deep breath as I took in his serious face.

“I’m sorry beyond words for destroying your trust and letting secrets build. When we were teens, I should’ve told you about my confusing feelings and writing to Blaze to talk about it. I should’ve told you about figuring out Slade was Blaze and that we’d been together. I wish I was perfect for you, but I’m not. I selfishly liked having him to myself. I’d always been jealous of your connection to one another, not wanting to be replaced. I also knew if I told you, it would end, and I didn’t want to lose both of you. So, I settled for him in secret, but then it became too much to bear, and I stopped.” He swallowed, his eyes searching mine. I held them, letting him see me to my core, nothing but vulnerability and acceptance staring back.

“I’ll do whatever I need to do in order to gain your trust back. I’m done being a coward thinking I’m happy with just staying your friend. I want a chance to prove we can be great together, and perhaps, that includes all three of us. I think I knew we all needed to be together, but was too afraid to admit what I wanted wasn’t normal… again. I got trapped thinking I needed to conform, to accept things could only be one way, but that’s not you or me. Losing you taught me that no matter how hard the conversation or the consequences of the truth are, I have to speak up. Not having you in my life at all was the worst version of it. If you’re mad at me, for months, a year, whatever it takes, it would be better than nothing. As long as I know you’re still in my life, then I still have an opportunity and a chance to be a part of it. So, name your price for what it will take.”

Simon’s face was earnest, and I knew there weren’t any more secrets hiding between us now. I hugged him briefly before withdrawing. Tapping my lips, I debated on what his ‘price’ would be. “Hmm, well, let me think about it. I need to be creative.”

He smiled wide, his shoulders dropping. “As scared as that makes me, I’m ready, Lenn. I’ll do it.”

“Who wants to be the one to wake up grumpy pants?” Zane hollered. “French toast is done, so it’s time to eat, folks.”

“I’ll do it,” Simon offered, and I gave him a look. “Yeah, we’ll make sure that’s somethingelsewe talk about together.”

“About you sleeping together?” I admitted.

“Yeah, and if it’s going to be a possibility for all of us to be in a relationship. I want to be open with how I feel about you both,” Simon admitted.

“Would you want to be with only him if I said no?”

“Never. I love you, Lenn, but I think I could love him too if I let myself.”

I nodded, confessing as well. “I don’t think I could choose between you two either, so I can’t make you do it. I also think I have feelings for…”

“Thane?” He smiled in question.

“Yeah, Zane.”

“So, are you really calling him that?”

“Most definitely. I can’t call him that psycho’s name, and stalker Thane, or imposter Thane, or whatever is just too long and confusing.”

“Okay.” He laughed at my reasoning, his eyes filled with humor. “How about we all talk about it over breakfast?”

“Sounds good.”

He kissed me on the forehead and walked off towards the bedroom. I watched him go, his butt looking delicious, and for once I didn’t feel guilty for lusting after him. Heading into the kitchen, I grabbed the dishes Zane had set out and placed them on the little breakfast table. He saw me and noticed my face, which had to be red and puffy.

“How are you feeling today after processing everything, gorgeous?”

“Not too bad.” I shrugged, turning to look at him as he carried over the food. “I mean, the sleep helped. I’m just trying to figure out everything else, I guess, one step at a time. I keep thinking I need to be angrier and not give in to their cute smiles and touches. But in light of everything else, it doesn’t seem as relevant anymore. It also makes me want to hold the people I care about closer, especially with everything I’ve lost.” I looked up, holding his eyes. “That maybe this is how I can finally be with them, and I’d be stupid not to take it considering we all love each other.”

His voice was quiet, but I heard it. “Does that include me?”

“I’d like it to.”

“I’d like it to, too.” He smiled, and I found myself reaching out for his hand.

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