Page 81 of Nine Years Gone

“You have every right to be. He’s your brother, and you want to protect him.”

“Damn straight.”

I drop my eyes and fidget with my glasses. The silence is uncomfortable because I burned the bridge that connects us, and Stella is making sure I haven’t forgotten it. The voices in the kitchen fill the pregnant silence between us.

“He told me, you know.”

“About why I left?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad he did. If he hadn’t, I would’ve. I wanted to tell him before I told anyone else. He deserved to know first. After that, I started to talk to those closest to me, to make amends for everything I put everyone through. I’m sorry that I’ll never have the opportunity to apologize to your mother. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday.”

“I get why you did it. I think you went about it the wrong way, but I understand. When Massimo told me, I even felt bad for you for all that you sacrificed and lost. The whole situation is so fucked up. And now we have Lucio and Leandro, and it’s like I can’t be mad because then they wouldn’t be here. It’s twisted because I want to be angry but can’t be.”

“Yes. You feel what I do, what Massimo feels, so I understand. Those boys are why I did it. I haven’t seen him be their father, but I already know he’s amazing with them.”

“He is,” she says. “They’re the only thing that gave him life after you left. Even then, the Massimo I knew was never truly back. His light never shone as bright.”

I grasp her hands in mine and say, “Thank you for sharing all of that with me. It means a lot.”

“I accept your apology. I’m sure someday soon I’ll come around again and forgive you too.”

“I hope so.”

“You only get to fuck up once, Lopez. Next time, you’ll have to deal directly with me. Understood?” Her lips are in a straight line, her eyes squinting.

“Thank you, Stella. I promise, no more drama from me.”

We both stand and embrace each other.

“You girls kiss and make up or what?” Massimo asks. When Stella and I separate from one another, I see him standing at the entryway, arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes,” Stella says. “But she knows I’ll kick her ass next time if she even thinks about pulling any shit like that again.” She kisses him on the cheek before leaving the room.

“You should’ve told me she was gonna be here,” I repeat as he’s approaching me.

“You would’ve made up all sorts of excuses not to come. Now it’s done, and everything is good.” He pulls me into him and kisses my temple. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s where you belong,” he declares, and I squeeze my arms tighter around him.

“Yo, Dello, get your ass in here. Time to eat,” Paulie yells from the other room.

He gives me one last kiss before turning to walk back to the dining room. Everyone is sitting at the table already. We settle into the two remaining empty seats, with Massimo sitting next to Leandro and Stella two seats down, on the other side of Lucio.

Anna Maria says, “Massimo, why don’t you give the toast before we start eating.”

Everyone raises their glasses, and Massimo looks at me and says, “To new beginnings.”

We all repeat, “To new beginnings,” and raise our glasses before taking a drink.

EPILOGUE

MARIALENA

June 2014

“WE’LL TAKE HOME THEgray and white girl in the second to last corral,” I say to the young woman at the desk. Massimo and I are at the animal shelter to rescue a dog. I’ve wanted to rescue one since moving back to Boston, but I held off because I lived in the city. The female we’re taking home is around three years old, and she came from a home with kids. The family that surrendered her couldn’t keep her when the father of the family became severely ill. She’s a small mixed breed Maltese Shih Tzu.

Late last year, we decided to finally move in together again. We dated for a little over a year before deciding it was time. Massimo had wanted to move in after just a few months of dating, but I was reluctant because of his boys. I wanted them to be okay with all the changes. It’s hard enough having parents in two households.

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