Page 25 of Ravishing His Wicked Lady (The Shadows 4)

Chapter 8

Lavinia had spent the first few days of the journey looking out the window and worrying about things she had no control over. She worried about Matilda and if Lavinia’s new guardian would harm her in Lavinia’s absence. She worried if Matilda would receive a missive from the same people who sent Lavinia that ominous note. And she worried about Annalise, who was riding beside her, jolting in the carriage and feeling sick.

Matilda had insisted that Lavinia go to the house party and find herself a husband. She had insisted that marrying someone, anyone other than whom Atwood had in mind, was the best course of action for both Lavinia and Matilda. And in a way, Lavinia agreed. Only she was not confident in her feminine charm, and she thought that Matilda had more chance of entrapping a husband than Lavinia did.

However, Matilda was not a widow yet. Lavinia was their only hope.

Lavinia did not tell her stepmother about the note. She didn’t tell anyone about it, because she did not want to worry everyone even more than she had already had. As it was, she already felt guilty for burdening everyone around her with her problems. Even poor Miss Gale, Lavinia’s cat, was currently jolting in her basket on the seat next to Lavinia, looking irritated and not comfortable at all.

Usually, while riding in the carriage with Annalise, the two women chattered away, discussing anything and everything, but this time, it had been different.

Annalise was ill, and the carriage was forced to halt every few hours so she could empty her stomach and walk around. This was a blessing for Miss Gale, who preferred to run around the field rather than jolting in a carriage, but it also worried Lavinia and Annalise’s husband.

“You shouldn’t be on this trip at all,” her husband muttered for the tenth time after another unplanned stop.

Annalise settled closer to him and burrowed into his side. Payne was right. She shouldn’t have been. Lavinia was the only reason she was.

Lavinia felt terrible for forcing her friend to attend the house party while she was feeling this unwell. But Annalise was stubborn and nobody, not even her husband, was able to tell her what to do. After all, if Annalise didn’t go, Lavinia would not be able to go either. She needed a chaperone. And since Matilda was looking after the sickly Lord Birch, Annalise was the logical answer. The only answer.

“I know myself, Blake,” Annalise said quietly. “This shall pass, and all will be well in a few hours.”

Lord Payne ran his hand over Annalise’s forehead, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Sometimes I wish you weren’t this stubborn.”

“Isn’t that why you love me?” Annalise asked with a soft smile.

“Yes, against my better judgment.” Payne pressed another kiss to the top of her head.

Lavinia smiled, watching the couple snuggle on the plush carriage seat as Payne cooed over his wife and tried to make her feel as comfortable as he could. Annalise lay her head on his shoulder, took Payne’s hand, and rested it on her slightly rounded stomach.

“I feel better already,” she whispered.

Lavinia looked out the window. She felt as though she was imposing on the couple’s private moment, which she was. But she also loved seeing how tender Payne was with Annalise, how much he cared for her, and how much he didn’t care ifhewas uncomfortable as long as Annalise had everything she needed and desired.

Lavinia wanted that. She craved that connection, that tenderness, such care from another human being to the bottom of her soul. A large boulder settled in her throat because she knew she wasn’t going to get that.

At best, she would get a cold marriage of convenience. At worst, she’d end up alone. Because the only hands wrapped around her that would give her comfort, the only voice saying her name that would sound soothing, were those of a man who was unattainable to her.

Lavinia shook her head and blinked back the tears. She needed to stop thinking about Dane. And she’d better start preparing herself for a marriage that would simply save her life, and not the one that would bring her happiness. Because at the moment, her priority was surviving.

On the last day of the journey, Annalise miraculously came down to breakfast, rested and rejuvenated. She felt well enough to send her husband outside to ride on horseback so she and Lavinia could chat privately.

“Oh, this happens all the time,” she said to Lavinia once they were back in the carriage and on the way to the house party. “One day everything is bad, and I am casting up my accounts, pardon for the gruesome description. But the next day I am well and strong. I just hope the babe is born healthy and not with these strange bouts of illnesses.” She covered her stomach with her hand.

“You shouldn’t have traveled,” Lavinia said softly.

“Nonsense!” Annalise waved the issue away. “I would have been just as ill at home.”

“But you would have been at home, in your bed. Comfortable.”

“Everything turned out fine, did it not?”

Lavinia grimaced. “Well, not yet. We haven’t even arrived.”

Annalise chuckled good-naturedly. “Oh, you worry too much.”

“And you worry too little,” Lavinia chastised her friend.

“I think you and Blake worry about me enough for all three of us. Besides, somebody has to worry about you. That reminds me. I wanted to speak with you about something.”

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