Page 62 of Pursuing Mr. Mattingly

Then his thoughts swung the other way, as they had over the past two days. Perhaps Sophia truly didn’t need a husband who spent his time split between England and America. In fact, if she had only married him on the assumption that she would be dead soon, then their union wouldn’t work regardless of how he felt about her.

“How frustrating.”

Did she refer to his situation or how this affected her life? Oliver shifted his weight from foot to foot. The longer he delayed, the more difficult the journey, for already it was past time for tea. Daylight for travel wouldn’t last forever.

“Agreed.” He rubbed a hand along the side of his face, upset the set of his spectacles, and then was obliged to reorient them. “It is quite a mess.”

Hannah frowned. “I rather think it is not.”

“How do you figure? Your mother is stubborn.”

She snorted. “So are you, but she wouldn’t have chosen you if you didn’t possess some sort of backbone.”

There was that. He shrugged. “Yet here we are.”

“You must look at the problem with logic.” The child jumped onto the bed and regarded him with hope in her eyes. “You either love Mama or you don’t. Which is it?”

Direct as always. A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I love her to distraction. Nothing has changed in that quarter, but she refuses to believe it as truth.”

“Yes, well, Mama has had a bit of a tough go of things lately.” Hannah shook her head as if that explained everything. “And on the reverse side, Mama either loves you or she doesn’t.” She looked at him with expectation. “Does she?”

“A few days ago, before the incident at the creek, I thought she did.” Her actions, her words had indicated such. The way they got on together was a testament to that fact. Yet, was it possible it had all been an act because she’d believed she was dying and that she wouldn’t need worry about a long-term marriage?

Oh, this is untenable!

“And now?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Hannah’s frown had returned. “You must talk to her instead of assuming things, Oliver.” Her tone of voice suggested he was an idiot to even think along such lines. “Even if Mama’s life is spared now, life itself is still too short for silences and misunderstandings.”

Dear God, the girl was wise beyond her years! “I…” What else could he say? The truth stared at him in the face. Not only did he love Sophia more than everything, but he was exceedingly fond of Hannah. If the marriage fell apart, he would lose that connection with her, and his chance to finally be a father would dissolve.

It was something he’d not considered when grappling with the woes between himself and Sophia. This time, the pain that gripped his chest prompted a gasp from him. He rubbed his fingers over his stinging heart. How did one fix such a coil?

“Additionally…”

“Yes?” he managed to gasp out around the fierce ache in his heart.

Tears pooled in Hannah’s eyes. She fiddled with the end of her golden braid of hair that rested over one shoulder. “I’d grown rather used to having a father about again.” Then she burst into sobs, and once more resembled her mother.

Well, damn.

The sight of a woman—no matter the age—in emotional distress never failed to reduce him to the strength of jelly. “Oh, Hannah. You poor thing.” Swiftly, Oliver sat next to her on the edge of the bed and dared to put an arm around her shoulders. Moisture gathered in his own eyes with such force that he couldn’t hold back his tears. “I’m so sorry that the ignorance of adults is throwing you into a quagmire of feelings.”

“Why can you not stay here and fix it?” Hannah turned into him, buried her face in his cravat, and set out to apparently give life to every tear in creation as her arms went around his middle. “You fixed Mama’s life before when you came to us.”

Never in his life had he imagined that he could know that such exquisite love existed or that it would come in the form of affection between a father and a daughter. He hugged her and cried along with her, for in that shared grief and confusion and heartache, there was no shame. There was only understanding and the will to do something that would make things right again. At the very least, he owed the girl that much. It wasn’t fair to her to come into her life, promise to be a replacement father, and then leave again without the guarantee that the relationship between him and Sophia would be repaired upon his return.

No longer was he the only person he needed to consider when making decisions, and for the last two days, he’d forgotten that.

For long moments, they vented pent up emotion with each other—a broken family who still clung to hope—and finally Hannah pulled away, wiping her eyes.

“Oliver, please don’t go,” she implored him with a splotched face and luminous eyes. “I need you here. Mama needs you.”

Then the decision was made for him. Perhaps the children did indeed lead the adults in their lives. Nothing else mattered except for keeping his bond with his little family intact. He nodded, removed his handkerchief from a jacket pocket, and then handed it to her. “I suppose I shouldn’t delay further in talking to your mother.”

Hannah sprang off the bed and stared at him as she mopped at her cheeks. “Truly?”

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