If I could crawl back into my bed at home with Mom and Dad, I would. Hiding under the covers, smelling my mom’s favorite fabric softener of lavender and vanilla on the fresh linen would ease the painful beating of my heart. Being utterly embarrassed was completely new to me, but I felt it right now.
I was seeing myself as something other than the ‘smart girl’ Mom always called me. I can’t go back home. For as long as I can remember, my mother told me how smart I was, how I surpassed the intellect of women my age, but here I was, befuddled and clumsy with my words.
I didn’t even know where my mom worked.
Ask me what type of virus werewolves use to impair their enemies versus the venom they use to mark their mates. Ask me the differences between fae and fairy wings and to explain how each line interfaces with the season to give them optimal flight. I knew it; I knew it all by heart, reciting each book I read from memory. I have a photographic memory, and I was bottled up inside the home where I spent 99% of my time.
I checked my mother’s accounting numbers for the department of whatever ‘office’ she worked for. She never told me, even when I asked. She would just go about her day like she didn’t hear me. I was too eager to please, so I did it anyway.
I didn’t even know exactly what powers my mom had. It was all cherry-picked. She perfectly selected each piece of information that was given to me. She had me memorize information that I would never use, just to keep my mind preoccupied, so I couldn’t ask questions about the things that really mattered.
Internally, I screamed at the top of my lungs because people are seeing me as something I’m not.
I’m. Not. Stupid. I’m not.
I’m just seeing the world for the first time I can’t help but find everything so fascinating. I’ve read everything I could get my hands on, and yet, never interacted with other women my age.
Was I even considered a woman? To Luci and everyone else, I was probably just a child.
Luci grabbed my fiddling fingers and put them to his lips. The tingles rushed down my arm and filtered into my heart, radiating nothing but understanding and compassion. It was like he recognized what I was going through.
Surely, he understood.
I saw anger in his eyes when he scrutinized my mom from head to toe upon her arrival in a fit of fury. He even dared to wrap his wings around me. That felt like protection. The first real protection I had felt, unlike anything my parents provided—which is sad to admit.
Luci was different; he was different like me. I could already tell.
He held pain behind those eyes, and he didn’t let it show on the outside. He built a wall inside, withholding all his emotions from everyone else. I just hide mine with empty smiles and laughter.
Maybe, just maybe, if I tore some of his walls down, he could show me who he really is, because these tingles, these bolts to my soul, were something I wanted to understand. The magnetic pulse that reigned down my body had me gasping for air, in a way I couldn’t comprehend.
The air that surrounded him suddenly made my mouth dry as his words rang through my ears, “… there is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I wanted to hug him; I wanted to squeeze the life out of this man who had taken me under his wing today. His body tensed constantly, his fists balling tightly every time he became angry.
It hadn’t escaped my notice. I just didn’t know what to do or say when the awkward situation arose as his temper spiked. I was unsure if I would make it worse, so pretending it wasn’t there was the only logical choice.
It had to be hard for him, to stick around and be social with everyone. Heavens, I knew what that was like. Luci was trying though… for me.
That had to mean something.
He wanted to spend time with me, of all people.
As the phantom tail sat on my hands, I rubbed the cutest animal I had ever seen up close. I knew good and well that there would be other things in the worlds I would get to explore now that would continue to top the previous.
Chapter 15
Uriel
Icontinuedtopetthe phantom tail. He purred into the palm of my hand, still rubbing his teeny-weeny, little head against it. “You are so cute! Yes, you are!” Luci hummed, petting it as my hand fell away. Our fingers touched, shooting that fun spark through me again. This time we both stilled, his fingers centimeters from my flaking fingernail polish.
Luci’s dark eyes flickered. I felt my heart pound in my chest as his hand dared to touch my fingertips again. Internally, I was screaming, jumping on the balls of my feet, ready to just shove my hand back into his.
That’s when he did it: he grabbed my hand gently, all on his own, intertwining my fingers with his! I dared not cough, sneeze, or even wiggle my toes for fear the sensation would end.
He felt it too.
It was plastered on his face: the cute raise of the eyebrow and the curl of his lips. His thumb grazed over my knuckle; I wanted to speak, but I feared if I did, I would say something so utterly stupid that it would ruin the moment. So, I just stood beside him, scrunching my toes in the gold sandals, waiting for him to say something, anything.