Page 59 of Panty Dropper

CHAPTER 27

Billy

My blood was still boiling as I stalked out of the back of the bar with Reagan at my side. I blew right past my truck parked in its usual spot and continued forward, storming through a thicket of trees about a hundred yards behind the building as my mind spun out of control.

What in the hell was Abernathy playin’ at? It was bad enough he’d had the balls to set foot in Southern Comfort, let alone to talk about my mother on the day we put my Pops in the ground.

I’d seen red when he’d mentioned her driving with her scarf blowing in the wind. If Hank hadn’t inserted himself between us, I’d have knocked Abernathy’s head off his body. And if Reagan hadn’t stepped in front of me, I’d have finished the job before the man had a chance to leave the premises.

I was still reeling from the encounter, but as soon as we entered the thicket the atmosphere changed. The sunlight was blocked out by overhanging limbs, leaving us in a thick blanket of shade. A heavy silence hung in the air, broken only by the gentle sounds of leaves rustling and the occasional bird singing.

“Wow. It feels so magical in here.” Reagan said between shallow breaths.

When I saw that she was having a difficult time keeping up with my brisk pace on heels, I slowed my strides. With each step we took, walking side by side, the calmer I began to feel. My pulse slowed and my mind, which had been clouded with fury, cleared.

“Yeah. I come back here sometimes.” My brothers and I discovered this place after my mom died. “It’s a good place to take a walk. Or even just sit and think.”

“Well, if you want to add talking to that list, I’m here.”

As much as I appreciated her offer, I was silent as we strolled between the trees. It wasn’t that I was ignoring her, I was just trying to figure out how to communicate the fucked up tangle of emotions I was having.

Even before Abernathy had shown his face, I’d been on edge, feeling conflicted about my father and who he was. Normally, I’d keep my internal battles to myself, but something about the setting and the person I was sharing it with affected me like I’d been dosed with truth serum.

“I don’t know what the truth is,” I said finally. “I had such a concrete idea of my father set in my mind. I would’ve sworn I knew him, good, bad, and ugly. I would’ve thought nothing could surprise me. Hell, I’d lived with the man for eighteen years, and then seen him damn near every day since. But did I actually know him? Or did I just know the bad and the ugly?”

She nodded in understanding.

“I don’t think I ever saw him as a human being. Not really. I only saw all the ways he was weak when I needed him to be strong. I only saw all the ways he let me down. I never thought about why. Or who he was, apart from the man that was failing my brothers and me. How could I have been so self-centered?”

“You were a kid,” she protested. “You were allowed.”

A bark of laughter ripped from my chest. “Reagan, honey, I haven’t been a kid for a good long while. But I still kept seeing him like that. Still kept treating him like that. And now I’ll never get a chance to change it.”

She stopped and stood still. I turned to see why and without a word, she lifted up on her toes, wrapped her arms around my neck, and pulled me to her. It shocked me, especially since she’d tensed up earlier in the bar when I’d had my hand on her back. For a few moments, I froze, but then, when her arms tightened, squeezing me tighter, I snaked my arms around her waist and she melted against me.

As we stood, holding each other in silence, a piece of my heart that had been missing since the day I lost my mom clicked back into place. I felt a wholeness. A sense of peace that had evaded me for over twenty years was filling me now.

I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve Reagan falling into my life like an angel from heaven, but I was going to do everything I could from this day forward to be the man that did deserve her.

Something snapped in me in that moment. It might’ve been because today had been about the finality of death and there not being a promise of tomorrow. But whatever the cause, I pulled back and smiled down at Reagan as I ran my thumb in circles at the base of her spine.

A guarded look hooded her stare as she lifted her eyes to mine. “What’s that smile for?”

“I’ve made a decision.”

“A decision?” she parroted.

“Yes.”

“Why am I afraid to ask?” her voice wavered, revealing her nerves as an anxious smile lifted on her beautiful face.

“I’m done letting opportunities slip through my fingers.”

Her eyes were comically wide as she asked, “What kinds of opportunities?”

I leaned down, my lips hovering above hers as I said, “The kind that are standing right in front of me.”

Her palm flattened on my chest as she spoke my name in a whisper. “Billy, I can’t…”

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