Page 36 of Panty Dropper

I’d let Blaine take the lead in our relationship, in and out of the bedroom. He decided that I should work for his father, even though I’d thought it would be better if I retained my autonomy professionally. He decided where we lived, even though I’d wanted to move someplace that was ours, that we paid for ourselves. But, no, he insisted that we take the condo his parents had gifted him overlooking Central Park.

And in the bedroom, he was always the instigator. The few times I’d taken the role as the aggressor, he’d immediately shut me down and told me that he liked the way we “usually” did things. Everything from which movies we saw to what paper towels we used was on his terms.

Our relationship may have ended because of his infidelity, but in truth it had been doomed from the start. And I had to take some of the blame for its demise. He didn’t know me, and I was solely responsible for that.

I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I wanted to be honest with myself and with others about who I was. I didn’t want to do things because that’s what I thought was expected of me, or that it was the “right” thing to do.

Something in me told me that it was now or never. I felt comfortable with Billy. More comfortable than I ever had with Blaine. There was an ease about Billy that was so organic and captivating. It was in the way he spoke, the way he interacted with people, not just me. I didn’t have any illusion that I was special or that the connection I had with him was something unique. I’d witnessed it all night long at the bar. He made everyone feel comfortable, heard and seen.

As we sat in the dimly lit kitchen, the soft sound of Cheyenne’s snoring combined with crickets chirping made the environment feel intimate. Sitting there, with Billy, it felt like we were in a world where only we existed. Like we were cocooned in a private space that was our own.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to treat this like I would any case. I was going to say the things I needed to, in order to get the best outcome for my client—my client being my vagina. I would put Billy’s mind at ease that I wasn’t going to start pulling petals off flowers he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not style.

“I came home with you because I’m attracted to you and I wanted to see what it would be like to act on that attraction. I’m not looking for anything more than tonight. I don’t need pretty words or promises. In fact, I don’t want pretty words or promises. No texts. No calls. Just tonight. I just want tonight.”

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