Page 124 of Panty Dropper

“I wasn’t a good mom. I know that. I remember when I found out I was pregnant, I thought that I would finally have someone in my life that couldn’t leave me. Someone that would love me unconditionally. And you have, despite how horrible I’ve been. But I don’t deserve you. And neither did Blaine.” She took in a shaky breath. “I went for a walk trying to figure out how I could possibly ask you to forgive me for what I’ve put you through, and I ended up at the bar. I needed to make sure that Billy deserved you. And sweetie, he does. I asked him all those things you asked Blaine and he knew the answers. At least, I think he did. He seemed pretty confident.” She smiled as a tear fell down her face. “He knows you, and he loves you.”

“Mama, he doesn’t love me.” I wasn’t sure what was going on with my mom, if she was having some sort of midlife crisis or something, but the last thing I needed was for her to get the wrong idea about a man that had only been my official boyfriend for less than a day.

“Yes, he does.”

“You don’t know that.” I shook my head.

“Yes, I do.”

“Why, because he knew what my favorite color was?” I wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t have known that if she’d asked him yesterday.

“No. Because he told me that he does.”

Even though this seemed to be a new and improved version of my mom, I couldn’t discount the last thirty years. She had a tendency to exaggerate. “He told you that he loves me?”

“Yes, Fancy. He told me that he loves you.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Did I believe her? Even if I did, maybe he just said that to be nice. She was my mom, after all. It might be difficult to look at someone’s mother and tell them that you don’t love their daughter.

“But don’t take my word for it.” She sniffed. “He’s waiting outside.”

“What?” I stood up.

“He insisted on driving me back. He wanted to see you. I told him I wanted to talk to you, but he said he’d wait. He’s in his truck out front.”

I took two steps to the door when she grabbed my wrist and stopped me. Tears filled her lids before slipping down her cheeks as she stood. “I know it’s not enough, but I am sorry. I am so sorry.”

“Mama.” I pulled her into a hug.

“I love you,” she cried against my shoulder.

“I love you, too, Mama.”

After a minute or two she pulled back and wiped her face. “I know I’ve done a shitty job of showing it. Especially these last few weeks. But just so you know, the only reason that I wanted you to marry that douchebag was because I came from nothin’. I brought you into this world with nothin’ and I never wanted you to have to go back to that.” She reached up and cupped my cheek. “But I should’ve seen that you never will, because you can do somethin’ I never learned to do. You can stand on your own two feet. You don’t need a man. You don’t need me. You don’t need anyone.” She lowered her arm. “But, if you decide you want to be with someone, that Billy sure is easy on the eyes.” She smiled widely and waggled her brows.

I chuckled. “I love you, Mama. I really do.”

When I opened the door my mom stopped me again. “Oh and Fancy, Billy said that the time you wake up every morning is at five twelve.”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“You know that’s the exact time Hal died, don’t you?”

“What?” I stared at her. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s on the message the hospice nurse left me. I saved it on my phone. I don’t know why I did that. I kept playing it over and over because I couldn’t believe he was really gone.” She got choked up again. “I loved him so much.”

I gave her another hug feeling myself starting to tear up. “So did I, Mama.”

“I know.” She took in a sharp breath and stepped out of my embrace. “And he loved you, too. You were his girl. And I think he’d love Billy, too. So go get your man. If you want to. No more pressure.” She held up her hands in mock-surrender.

As I walked out into the hallway, I filed the information I’d just been given away to revisit later. Today had been an emotional roller coaster, and processing that I’d been waking up every day at the exact time Hal passed was too much to add to it.

My heart raced as I turned the doorknob and stepped out on the porch. I wasn’t sure why Billy was waiting to see me. I’d left his house in such a rush earlier. Then my mama showed up and asked him random questions, including if he loved me or not.

When I saw him, at the end of the walkway my breath caught in my throat. Billy was standing leaned up against his truck, one leg crossed over the other, looking sexier than should be legal. I felt like I was having my very own Harry Connick Jr. end of Hope Floats moment, when he was waiting for Sandra Bullock outside Snappy Snaps.

“Hi.” I lifted my hand awkwardly as I approached him. “I’m so sorry about—”

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