Page 105 of Panty Dropper

CHAPTER 44

Reagan

Ididn’t know how long I’d stood there plastered against Billy. Time didn’t seem to exist as I surrendered to his embrace. A feeling of rightness, of home—or at least what I’d always imagined home to feel like—infused my bloodstream. All the reasons I’d stayed away from him suddenly seemed laughable. They were insignificant to the magnitude of what we shared in that moment.

Chances were, I would’ve remained cocooned in his hug if it weren’t for the guilt that crept into my head like a thief in the night. A thief that stole the complete and total peace that being held by Billy offered.

Tonight, he’d come over and trusted me with his mother’s journal, and somehow, I’d managed to end up with him comforting me. It was something my mother would do, not me. Sure, I hadn’t manipulated the conversation so that it turned in my direction like she would have. But did that matter if the outcome was the same? No.

Feeling ashamed of my unnecessary admission and acceptance of the comfort that was offered afterwards, I forced myself to step back out of his touch.

“I…um…will go to the police station tomorrow morning and get the report from your mother’s crash. If you want me to,” I quickly added. I had no idea if he would want to follow up on the information we’d discovered tonight. There was a good chance he might not want to find out what happened. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d want to get it.”

“I do. But you’re not going alone. I’ll come with you. And I’m sorry again, for showing up like this.” Billy kissed me on the top of my head. “I should go.”

I sensed that he had more to say, but I didn’t ask what it was. My feelings were so raw and close to the surface that I knew if what he said next had to do with the two of us in any way, I was toast. My defenses were completely down and, at least in the moment, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get them back up in time.

He stared down at me, his big brown eyes boring directly into my soul. He took a deep breath. Whatever it was he was about to say, I could tell it took as much from him to summon up the strength to stand there and say it as it took from me to hear it, and probably for the same reason– neither one of us knew exactly what would come after the words, and that kind of mystery was even scarier than the other kind we were dealing with.

He brushed his fingers gently against my cheek and my knees lost what little bit of strength they’d had. “I miss you,” the words coming out choked. Whether his throat was being squeezed by lust or emotion, I had no way of knowing…but I was kinda good with either.

My heart melted and the guard I’d so carefully put up slipped away as I admitted the truth in an equally forced whisper. “I miss you, too. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried to fight my feelings, but…I can’t. I just…can’t.”

I’d said more than I meant to. It felt like I’d been walking on the edge of an emotional cliff that I just jumped off. And I had no idea if Billy was going to catch me.

“Then don’t fight them. And I’m not just talking about tonight. I care about you, Reagan.”

The scratchy desperation in his words washed over me. Instead of being my soft place to land, he gave me wings and I felt like we were flying. Together.

I was having trouble catching my breath as he continued.

“I want more than tonight. I want more than a friendship with clauses. I want you. And if you’re not ready, that’s fine. I can leave and give you time to think about it. But I want you to know that the next time I kiss you, the next time I taste your sweet skin, the next time I’m buried deep inside of you, the next time I make you come so hard you forget where you are, it’s not going to be as your friend. I want you, all of you, and I’m done pretending I don’t.”

He never broke eye contact and his gaze burned with intensity. There was no mistaking what sparked that flame—it was lust. And I was very good with that. Especially now that I knew he felt more for me than just animal attraction, it left me free to fully freaking enjoy that animal attraction.

His speech had taken me by surprise and I was really wishing that a court stenographer would’ve been there to record it because I knew I’d be mentally replaying his testimony over and over for the rest of my life. Beyond the actual words he’d said, there was a confident, take-charge conviction in his stance that sent tingles zipping and zapping in my core. We were standing a foot apart and the space between us crackled with electrical charge.

“Do you want me to go, or stay?”

It was a fairly straightforward question with a much deeper, much more complicated meaning. I knew exactly what he was asking. If I said that I wanted him to stay, then I was agreeing to give him what he was asking for. Me. All of me. My answer was a promise of a commitment that we were more than just friends.

The only thing that was stopping me from once again jumping off the emotional cliff was whether or not he meant the things he said. Did he really want this as badly as I did? I had no clue. All I could do was act on the facts I had, and those were what I felt for him.

“Stay,” I breathed, hoping I was making the right decision. Not that it was much of a decision at all.

That was the last conscious thought I had before Billy pulled me back into his arms, lowered his head, and covered my mouth with the most sensual and loving kiss we’d ever shared.

Things had changed between us in the last few seconds, in a way that was far more profound than the simple words we’d exchanged. As a lawyer, I would normally have wanted proof, but as a woman in love, I trusted my instincts—Billy and I were all in together. I knew it. This kiss was telling me so, and I believed it more than I did most testimony delivered under oath and penalty of perjury.

His hands traveled up and down my body, leaving a trail of electricity wherever they passed. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. I was overtaken by the most curious and contradictory sensation, something I’d never felt before—the combination of a sense of urgency to be naked with him in bed, to have him inside me…and the simultaneous feeling that we had all the time in the world to be together because of the promise this kiss was making.

It was intoxicating, to say the least, and my head spun harder the longer we kissed, and the more he touched me.

With exceeding gentleness, Billy lifted me up and then lowered me down onto the creaky mattress, then knelt by the edge of the bed, brushing my hair back from my forehead as his eyes took in my face.

It may have just been the half-worn-out boarding house bed I was lying on, but the way Billy looked at me made me feel like I was a princess in the fanciest four-poster canopy, and Billy was my prince.

When he started undressing me, his eyes hungrily took in every inch of skin he exposed by taking off my clothes, I lost all sense of where I was, royal palace or boarding house or otherwise. I was just in a state of pure bliss, and Billy was the one sending me there. That was all my brain had room for.

Just like he had in the field after our picnic, when he had me completely naked, he bent his head and started kissing his way down my body, starting at my neck and moving down my chest and belly—spending a good amount of time on my hard nipples, leaving me weak and moaning and wanting more.

By the time he finally pushed my knees apart and positioned himself so that he was kneeling between my legs I was ready to come just from feeling the air on my sex.

His eyes locked on my exposed folds and I felt my body contract with pleasure. Not from the air. I was about to go up and over the edge just from the hunger in his eyes. His primal gaze was that of an animal ready to devour its prey and it caused my inner walls to clench searching for sweet release.

“Mine,” he whispered gruffly before diving down and claiming my sex with his demanding mouth.

One word. One kiss. One flick of the tongue was all it took for my release to come crashing onto me like a wave at Mavericks, and the power of the orgasm pulled me under, drowning me in unparalleled pleasure.

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