Page 59 of Resisting Fate (Hope Falls: Brewed Awakenings 3)

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As Josh held Audrey tightly,she raked her fingers through his hair which felt comforting and soothing. With her in his arms his heartrate slowly started to return to normal. He’d never had a night terror around anyone before because he never spent the night with women for fear that this would happen.

He’d always assumed that he would be embarrassed if anyone witnessed what he went through, but he wasn’t. Maybe in the morning, when he was thinking clearer, he would be, but right now he just felt grateful that Audrey was there.

Although he wasn’t embarrassed, he did feel bad that he’d woken her up. He knew how precious sleep was to her since four days out of the week she got up before the ass crack of dawn.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized as he lifted his head and looked up at her.

Her brow furrowed as she stared down at him. “For what?”

“For waking you up.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m sorry that you’re still dealing with this.”

He’d told Audrey about his night terrors a few years ago, but it’s not like they talked about it on a regular basis. She’d always been there for him when he talked about his health issues, both mental and physical, but she didn’t bring the subject up and pepper him with questions, which he’d always appreciated. It was probably why she was the only person he felt totally safe sharing personal things with.

Caleb was a great listener, but he would always follow-up on anything they discussed. His friend would check in for status updates, which academically Josh knew was his friend’s way of showing he cared. But it always made Josh feel pressured and on the spot.

And Nonna was old school. She thought the best way for him to “feel better” was to drink water, go for a walk, and eat. That was her cure for anything that ailed you. It wasn’t bad advice, but water, a walk, and food alone weren’t going to cut it.

She didn’t believe in psychologists, therapy, or taking pills to address mental health. Her generation didn’t really discuss, acknowledge, or address any sort of problems in that area. They just ignored their feelings and pushed down whatever issues they were having.

Which, he’d tried to do. Unfortunately, he just hadn’t been very good at it. So, after some encouragement and a few threats from Caleb, he’d gone and seen someone. Thankfully, over the years he’d learned tools to help with his issues and the medication Dr. Lowe had put him on definitely made a difference. He still battled with depression and dark thoughts, but there were a lot more good days than bad.

“Do you have these a lot?” Audrey asked as her fingers continued raking through his hair.

“No.” He closed his eyes. “Not as many as I used to.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head back and forth. Dr. Lowe had explained to him that most adults didn’t wake up when they had night terrors and if they did, they didn’t remember their dreams and were able to fall right back to sleep. Unfortunately, not only did Josh wake up, he remembered his dreams in vivid detail and was never able to fall back to sleep.

Typically, he just gave up sleep once he woke up from an episode and started his day. But that’s when he was alone. Maybe with Audrey things would be different.

He could feel his muscles beginning to relax, and even if he couldn’t sleep, just having her next to him sounded like exactly what he needed.

“Can you lay down with me?”

“Of course.”

Audrey slid back into bed, and he wrapped his arms around her spooning her from behind. Thor snuggled up against his back and he felt something he wasn’t sure he’d ever really felt in his life. He felt like he belonged. Like this was exactly where he was supposed to be. Like he was home.

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