Page 78 of The Lord I Once Loved

Will

Pain.

God awful, blinding pain.

I blinked my eyes, harsh sunlight blaring through the windows, forcing me awake. I could have easily slept for hours longer, but my head was pounding, and the light felt like an angry message from God.

I sat up, finding myself on the floor of the drawing room. As my eyes adjusted to the mid-morning light, I squinted at my surroundings, trying to understand where I was – and exactly how I had gotten there. On the mahogany table to my right, an empty glass bottle of scotch was lying lopsided against a lamp. To my left, empty champagne glasses were discarded on the sofa.

Ah, yes. The party.

What an absolute disaster.

After Amelia and I’s hide-and-seek tryst the day before, I’d felt completely off-kilter. I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself, yet I was unable to sit still. I’d mostly avoided the townhouse (and Amelia) at all costs. I was still banned from White’s (not to mention every other club in London), so I’d traipsed around the city… doing much of nothing.

By the late afternoon, I’d decided to return to Mayfair; in all honesty, I’d run out of excuses to avoid Amelia any longer. Most unfortunately, as soon as I entered the neighborhood, I’d run into Lord Turley, the idiot himself. He hadnottaken nicely to my appearance.

The sidewalk of Mayfair, with all of the good ladies and gentlemen of the ton as audience, was simply not the place for a lover’s revenge. I mean, I wouldn’t have cared – in fact, it might have been a bit fun! Sparring with the unbearable twat in front of a Duke or Duchess… delightful.

But instead, he’d simply spit at me. In response to which I, of course, had enjoyed a good laugh.

Turley did not likethatone bit (it seemed my jolly good sense of humor was always getting me into trouble). In a repeat of our altercation at White’s, he’d then insulted my mother again… and then he’d mentioned Amelia.

Not by name, but by a slur much worse.

That had made my blood boil.

Everything was pointing to another physical altercation… but before I could do anything, we were interceded by Cavendish and Arlington, just returned from a visit to some drinking hall or pub. Turley seemed to disappear within minutes, and then I was being ushered back to my townhouse by the Lords, who were hellbent on having a fun night.

I was out of sorts, that was for sure. I couldn’t stop thinking about Amelia… and I couldn’t understand my feelings. I was rocking back and forth between desire, anger at myself for such desire, and some other feeling… something I couldn’t quite put into words.

Something bordering on love and affection.

But that was all too much.

And thus, I’d let Cav and Arlington walk into my house, right into the room Amelia had been sitting in, as pretty as a little dove, doing her embroidery like some kind of saint. I’d let them invite over our friends, and then I’d started drinking. I’d barely said a word to her the entire night. In fact, I’dtriedto avoid her… because I was afraid of what I might say.

Well, that had turned out brilliantly, hadn’t it?

My pounding headache – and the remnants of debauchery around me – were physical reminders of how poorly I had behaved.

The most painful memory of all was how the night had ended. Amelia’s angel-spun hair slipping through my fingers as she spurned me. She had mentioned something about seeing me with Georgia. She was right – Georgia had tried to flirt with me. But I wasn’t interested in her at all.

Surely, Amelia knew that, right?

Georgia barely registered in my mind… it was all Amelia, all the time.

But, regardless, I had behaved like a cad, and it wasn’t anything new. I mean, how many times had I woken up in precisely the same predicament, hungover with liquor bottles all around me? It had to be hundreds.

And yet, this was the first time I really, truly regretted it.

As if some spirit possessed me, I suddenly made up my mind to make things right. I couldn’t stand to wallow in the reminders of my depravity.

I had to see Amelia.

She could forgive me, right? She had to.

A half an hour later, once I was fully cleaned up and had a bite of food in me (as well as a harmless drink), I found myself seeking her out. I asked the butler to send for her, and I waited anxiously in the library, pacing back and forth.

---