Page 174 of Missed Notes (Rixon High 5)

“Not really.”

“Okay.”

“How are you so calm about all of this?” I peeked up at him.

“Because that’s my job, isn’t it? To be your anchor. To be your life raft when things get too stormy.”

“Stormy, that’s one way of putting it.”

“I know it’s not my decision, and I know I have zero medical knowledge, but I think your dad is right, Sofe. Dr. Jeffries is one of the best in his field. If he recommends the transplant, then I think you should do it.”

“It might not work.”

“But it might. Surely, that gives you some hope.”

Hope was the furthest thing I felt right now, but I didn’t tell him that. Not when he’d done nothing but hope enough for the both of us all this time.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you through all this,” I admitted.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way. Even if they have to put me in a hazmat suit to see you.” He smiled, brushing his nose down my cheek.

“We probably won’t be able to do this for a while,” I said, sadness washing over me. “A year is a long time, Cole.”

“You’re worth the wait, Sofe.”

“You say that now…” My gaze dipped, my heart clenching at the thought of losing him.

“Hey.” He tipped my face up. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Allentown is a two-hour round trip. You have class. The team. The band. And I’m going to be stuck in here for months. Maybe longer.”

“We’ll figure it out. I can visit on weeknights and stay over on weekends, and we can video call and text all the time.

“I’m going to miss everything. The playoffs. Winter formal. Prom. Graduation. Who knows if I’ll even ever graduate?”

“It sucks, Sofe. I know that. But this isn’t some virus that you’ll get over in a couple of weeks. If you need to be in the hospital, then that’s what you’ll do. Know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t kidding when I said I had a whole future planned out for us. So I need you to do something for me, okay?” He leaned in closer, hovering his mouth right over mine, the air crackling between us. “I need you to fight, Sofe. Life will still be there when you’re healthy again. And I kind of like having you in mine, but this is one thing I can’t do for you. I can’t fight the cancer in your blood. If I could, fuck knows, I would. But it’s your fight, babe.”

I kissed him.

Not because I didn’t want to acknowledge his words—the truth behind them—but because he was one of the best people I knew.

And I loved him so much it hurt.

Cole wound his hand into my hair and took control of the kiss, licking my mouth, tangling his tongue with mine. “I love you,” he murmured. “I love you, Sofia.”

“Kiss me,” I breathed. “Kiss me.”

He smiled against my mouth, teasing me with little flicks of his tongue, tasting me. Making me whimper and writhe against him.

“I really wish we weren’t in a hospital bed right now.”

His laughter was like a salve to my broken heart. “We could always sneak into the bathroom,” he suggested.

“And risk getting caught by my parents?”

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