A strained pause followed the tension creeping back in, but he squeezed me to him, chasing away my anxiety, until I relaxed again.
“Why are you so afraid of me? Afraid to talk to me?” He breathed against my hair. “By now you should know I would never do anything to hurt you.”
His words were meant to calm me, but my determined mind dredged up wicked sins from the past, causing me to coil like a viper ready to strike.
“Please, Chase, can we go to sleep?”
“Okay but let me say this first: You are not your past. It impacted your life, but it doesn’t make you the, you that you are now. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t allow who you were interfere with who your becoming. Your amazing Jax, a breath of fresh air to me at a time when I found myself suffocating and waiting for the day that my heart turned cold. You may not think so, may not have even noticed, but you have a lot to offer in a relationship. You’ve offered me friendship, compassion, laughter, support, and advice. You make me happy, Jax.”
His warm lips brushed my cheek before he settled into a relaxed position, pulling me into his chest.
“I’m not going to hurt you Jax.” He squeezed me securely against him, the tight caress provided a relaxing warmth I enjoyed.
“Says your mouth,” I replied.
“Says my heart,” came his simple response.
Dammit Chase!
His words clasped around my heart so tight, I choked down a sob. Although my mind fought it, I believed he deserved to know more about my history.
I swallowed hard. I was scared, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it to myself. I was shouldering some massive shit. Something capable of keeping me from embracing my emotions fully. I believe Chase sensed that.
He placed his lips to my ears. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere.”