Page 81 of Twisted Obsession

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Ansel

The sharp jerk of my neck registered, but the world I’d been lured into refused to release its suffocating grip and set me free.

“Ansel wake up,” her soothing voice sounded, reaching through the darkness to reconnect my mind to the light. “You’re safe here with me.”

The light trace of delicate fingers stroked my stubbled jaw, and my eyes fluttered open. And what a beautiful view they opened to. Regina was laid out on top of me. The concern etched on her face indicated that she’d heard my dream-inspired ramblings.

My dreams usually had me on edge, cagey like a feral animal, but Regina’s presence cast it away, easing my anxiety into a faint trace of mist. Her radiating warmth chased away the chill the dream had left in my body. The press of her weight on top of me felt natural like she was in her rightful place.

The dark view outside sparkling with city lights indicated that we’d been out for at least a few hours. One of my hands was full of ass and pinned between her body and the couch. My other hand had worked its way under her top as it rested against the warm silkiness of her side.

She ground her pussy against my hip, and I shook my head at her.

“You don’t want that, Doc. My dick is always hungry for you, but I’m being considerate. You have a case of the sore pussy, and I want my little pussy queen as good as new so I can wreck her all over again.”

She burst into a fit of laughter that enticed me to join her. The shit that fell out of my mouth was ridiculous, but I enjoyed the sound of Regina’s laughter.

“How is she by the way?” I inquired, glancing down in that direction. “I’m going to need her to do whatever it is she does and snap back because, fuck,” I stated, fighting the heat that blazed between us. I reached down and gripped my dick that had started to jump up as soon as the word pussy was mentioned.

“Sooo,” she inquired with suspicious eyes, dragging out the word. “Does this mean we have adopted the role of a couple now?”

A glance down showed me how wrapped up in each other we were, and I sat up, taking her up with me. Her words had snapped me from this little fantasy we were in. We sure as shit had started to act like a couple.

“No. You know I can’t go there with you, Regina. I don’t think I’m equipped to handle a normal relationship.”

“Oh,” was all she said as I sat all the way up, threw my legs over the couch and let my feet hit the cold floor. She eased back but remained kneeling, her side pressed into my arm as her arm rested over my shoulder. I sensed her gaze on me, so I turned and glanced at her.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, Regina. Don’t ever think that. But, I do want better for you than me. You’re a doctor. You’ve worked your ass off to earn that title. I’ve watched you over the short time we’ve been together. You study your ass off, and you haven’t even started applying for jobs yet. I know that you’d be the hardest worker, the kind that would pour your heart and soul into your work. I think you’d also do the same in a relationship.” I released a deep sigh. “I can’t give you that kind of dedication and care in return.”

“I believe you can,” she stated matter-of-factly. There was a hint of opposition in her tone. She was set to challenge my ass. “You want to sex me and cuff me. You want me obedient and submissive, but you don’t want any of the baggage or work it might take to turn our relationship into a real one? God forbid that you actually admit to yourself that you care about me.”

“I can’t go there with you, Regina. I wasn’t taught the principles of manhood. I learned the best way I could. The guidelines I follow are warped, twisted. All you’d have with me is a temporary relationship that would burn itself out before we even got started. I’m not capable of giving the kind of love you deserve. There are too many fucking demons in me. I’d end up being the devil that ruins your life.”

“You can’t go there with me, Ansel, or you just don’t want to?”

This damn woman here. She wasn’t listening to a damned thing I was saying.

My nostrils flared with anger, and for the life of me, I couldn’t direct any of it at her. She bent down and kissed me, dragging her lips over mine with a light caress. I’d be damned if her kiss didn’t calm me right the fuck down. She kept her palm planted against my chin, ensuring I didn’t turn away.

“You’ve protected me. You’ve provided me shelter, food, and everything I need. You’ve fought for me, killed for me. You keep me satisfied in a way that I’ve never experienced before. You support the fact that I’m a doctor where some men are intimidated by it. You handed me a credit card with virtually no limit and refused to let me give it back.”

When she outed my actions like that, it did appear I’d been more generous than even I’d realized.

“You appreciate my body, even though I have scars and am not a size two. Not only did you introduce me to layers of yourself, it feels like you’ve introduced me to myself. Even when it seems like you aren’t listening to a thing I rant about, you’ll say something that lets me know you were attentive the whole time.

“You know how to make me open up in a way that’s allowed me to exercise some of the toxic thoughts that haunt me. What more is there for me to want or need? You’ve done for me more than some husbands are willing to do for their wives.”

My hand lifted at her statement, and I turned my face away from her palm. “What I’m doing is a part of my job of protecting you, not what you’re making it out to be.”

“I know. I know,” she uttered as I scooted away from her to the edge of the couch. “We are not a couple, Ansel. I’m just saying. You say you can’t give me what I deserve, but you’ve already given me so much more. And no matter what you say, it doesn’t all feel like it’s a part of you doing your job.”

Her slight movement registered behind me. The low scrunch of the couch sounded, and the cushion dipped as she drew closer.

“I don’t understand why we can’t be more than what we are. However, I have no choice but to respect your choice.”

The sincerity in her tone stirred something within me that caused me to glance back at her. And I hadn’t missed the stress she’d placed on the word your. She wasn’t hiding shit from me, and I don’t think she ever had. She’d fallen for me, and her gaze revealed the truth of her words.

Sadness flashed in her eyes, making them appear too heavy for her to hold open. She wanted something that I wasn’t sure I could give her. Shit was getting too deep. Way deeper than I expected it to go with us. It was hitting nerves and stirring emotions. Exposing a connection that had been woven together by a force that neither of us had control over. When had we become these people? Why hadn’t I followed my own advice and stuck to the rules?