Page 75 of No One Wants That (Blitzen Bay)

“It’s not morning!” I hear her starting to pee. “It’s still the middle of the night.”

“Do I need to explain what AM and PM mean?”

The toilet seat slams as she flushes. The door flies open again. Her toothbrush is still dangling from her mouth. “AM is a courtesy title for anything before eight.”

I shake my head. “You never would have made it in the military.”

“Which is exactly why I didn’t enlist,” she says as she spits and rinses.

She splashes water on her face then pulls her hair into a ponytail.

“Good Lord, woman. Do you always take this much time to get ready?”

“What are you talking about?” she says, collapsing down on the couch. She grabs the socks from me. “It’s been like two minutes tops. Most women take hours to get ready.”

“And they still wouldn’t look as beautiful as you do right now,” I say, taking her chin and giving her a light kiss. “Good morning.”

She sighs as her sleepy eyes fix on me. “Good morning. Do you have a hat? My head always gets cold.”

“Yeah, I have a hat.” I pull her in for a hug and flip the ponytail off her shoulder. “We wouldn’t want this hair to get any bluer.”

She pushes me away. “That joke doesn’t get any better with repetition.”

“I’m gonna keep trying anyway,” I say, standing and pulling her up with me. “You can put the boots on in the car.”

When she starts dragging her feet toward the door, I pick her up around the waist and carry her out into the hall. She’s hanging from my arm like a rag doll.

“Are you going to walk faster if I put you down?”

“Definitely not.”

“Fine,” I say, throwing her over my shoulder as I head to the lobby.

Claire’s smiling at us from the registration desk. “I can’t believe you talked her into it. Well either that or you’re kidnapping her. Is she even awake?”

“Not awake,” Kit grumbles. “And he’s definitely kidnapping me.”

I put Kit down and grab the thermos that Claire pushes across the desk.

“From the looks of her,” Claire says. “I’m glad I gave you the extra-large thermos.”

“Did he make you get up this early to get us coffee?” Kit lays her forehead on the desk.

“No, I’m always up at this time, but I would have gotten up at any time for Butch. I’ve always been a sucker for a Southern accent. I’m guessing you are, too, Kit, if he got you out of bed this early.”

“Please don’t stroke his ego,” Kit says. “I did not succumb to his accent. He bullied me into this, and I’m too tired to fight him right now. If I don’t make it back, will you tell Elle that I hadn’t had coffee yet when I succumbed to this hellish idea? It will make it easier for her to understand.”

“I’ll tell her,” Claire says, laughing, “but I’m guessing you’ll make it back since you’re going hiking with a Navy SEAL.”

“What did I just say about stroking his ego?” Kit spreads her arms out on the desk. “This desk is surprisingly comfortable. Butch, please go away so I can nap.”

“Nope,” I say, circling my arm around her waist and picking her up again. “We’ll see you later, Claire.”

Kit droops in my arm as I carry her outside. When I put her down by the car, she collapses onto the hood.

“Damn, you’re really not a morning person.” I guide her to the open door and lift her into the seat. “We need to get some coffee in you because I’m not carrying you up to the peak.”

I crawl in on my side and grab my backpack. I pull out the fleece and a knit cap. She looks at them like she’s not sure what she’s supposed to do next.

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