Page 94 of No One Wants That (Blitzen Bay)

She swats my leg. “And I couldn’t do all of this with you—the fishing, canoeing, hiking. I hate all of it.”

“Ex-wife number one told me that successful relationships require compromise.” I rest my arms on top of hers. “That was right before she divorced me.”

“Of course, they require compromise, but the love, the passion, none of that really matters if you don’t enjoy spending time together. You don’t have to love all of the same things, but you should at least have some shared interests. You know?”

“I guess.”

She turns back around and looks up at me. “You love Millie, right?”

“With every fiber of my being.”

“Could you be married to her?”

“I’d kill her before we left the church.”

“Not if she killed you first.” She laughs. “That’s what I’m saying. Love is just the first step in a successful relationship. You have to be able to live together, too. Being good roommates might be as important as love in the long run.”

“Are you and Alex good roommates?”

She shrugs. “Honestly, we haven’t spent enough extended time together to figure it out, but I think we will be. We match up with each other. It’s so easy being with him.”

“I can see that,” I say, smiling. “I think you’re perfect for each other.”

“I think you and Kit are perfect, too. I’m not saying she’s going to be your next wife but she’s the right fit for you.” She pushes herself back up onto the seat. “Why are you scared of being happy?”

“Why are you?” I say, raising my eyebrows. “Alex has told me several times on this trip that he’s ready to settle down and have babies but that you’re not there yet.”

“I really hate that you two are becoming such good friends.”

“No you don’t,” I say. “And quit avoiding the question.”

She crawls back to her seat and turns toward the front. “Can we paddle for a while?”

“Sure,” I say, handing her a paddle. “The fat end goes in the water.”

She sticks her tongue out at me and then takes several shallow strokes on one side of the canoe, causing us to spin in a circle.

“Why are we spinning?” She looks back at me. “I think we have a defective canoe.”

“Just a defective paddler in the bow position. Please put your paddle back into the canoe and let me get us back to the dock on my own.”

She puts her paddle down and turns around to face me again. “I want to be happy. And I want to be happy with Alex but I’m an analyst. That’s what I do. I need time to analyze every little detail.”

I nod. “What’s your analysis telling you so far?”

“That he’s the one. That I want to marry him and have babies, but just not yet.”

“Your analysis has never been wrong and it’s not wrong now. He’s definitely the one for you but take your time. He’ll wait.”

“I know.” She smiles. “And my early analysis is telling me that Kit’s the right one for you. Will you please give her a chance? Don’t sabotage it. Please.”

“I told her we could talk more when she got back from Spain.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. “Not good enough. Procrastination is a form of sabotage. Talk to her right when we get back. Tell her you want to be with her. And more importantly that you’re willing to work for it. You’re the biggest risk taker I know. God, when we’re in the field, there’s nothing you won’t do to move a mission forward. It’s time you start doing that in your personal life, too. You have to put yourself out there again.”

“I guess.” I take off my cap and run my fingers roughly through my hair. “Frankly, I’d rather be facing an entire platoon of enemy fire than do that.”

“I know. I’m scared, too. I’ve told you before that we’re the same when it comes to commitment. We just handle it differently. You try to lose yourself in forgettable women. I bury my face in the sand and act like I’m okay being alone. It’s time for us to step up and take a risk. It’s time for us to be happy. Promise me you’ll try.”

“I promise,” I say, grabbing the dock as we glide back in, “if you promise.”

“I promise.” She crawls out of the canoe and extends her hand to me. “Let’s go find Kit and Alex before I try to take a kayak out by myself.”

“Yeah.” I grab her hand as I get out of the canoe and start pulling her up the hill. “No one wants to see that.”

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