Page 5 of No One Wants That (Blitzen Bay)

Mason turns around and laughs when he sees Mo trying to climb on the table to get to the beer. “Charlie gave him a sip of beer at that Memorial Day barbecue. He’s been obsessed ever since.”

“Well, he’s definitely your kid,” I say, trying to distract Mo by putting my baseball cap on him. He starts grabbing at it as it falls over his eyes.

“I’ll get you another beer,” Mason says, turning back toward the house. “Just get him to sleep. It’s way past his bedtime.”

As soon as the door clicks shut behind Mason, Millie starts back in.

“Butch, we’re not done talking about the trip.”

“Mo Man, tell your mom to quit nagging me.” Mo finally gets the cap off his head. I bow down and help him put it back on my head. “Thank you, little buddy. That’s my favorite hat. Maybe we’ll get you one so we can be twins.”

“Wins,” he says, tugging on my beard as I start massaging the back of his neck. It’s my go-to move to get babies to nod off.

“He’s become quite the little parrot since the last time I saw him,” I say as I extend the massage up to his head. His forehead finally drops onto my chest.

“Yeah,” Mason says, walking back out and handing me another beer. “He repeats everything we say, especially the cussing.”

“Well, he has to learn how to cuss at some point,” I say. “Might as well be now.”

Mo’s head starts nodding back and forth on my chest.

“I still don’t understand how he likes you more than me,” Raine says, scrunching up her face as she watches Mo’s body collapse into mine. “You scare the crap out of grown men but a one-year-old loves you. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m much nicer than you.”

“Kids love me,” I say, shrugging. “It’s always been that way. Probably because I have six little brothers and sisters. I practically raised the youngest ones. I think kids can sense if you’re comfortable with them.”

“I’m comfortable with him,” Raine says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Please,” I say, kissing Mo’s head again as he lets out a long sigh—his last stand against the approaching sleep. “You hold him like you’re handling a grenade.”

“I do not.”

“You do kind of hold him like that,” Millie says, patting Raine’s arm. “Or like he’s poisonous or something.”

“I’m an only child,” Raine says, huffing. “I wasn’t around babies growing up.”

“Neither was I,” Millie says, circling her arm around Raine’s shoulders. “But you learn quickly when you have one. Believe me, when you and Alex have a baby, you’ll be a pro overnight.”

“Stop!” Raine pushes herself to the other side of the couch. “We haven’t even been together a year. No one’s having babies.”

“You never know,” Mason says. “Mo wasn’t planned. Maybe you and Alex will have a surprise baby, too.”

“Shut up,” Raine says, flipping her head around to him. “And don’t talk like that around Alex. He already has baby fever and when he’s around Mo, it gets ridiculous.”

“How can you not want one of these?” I say as Mo’s breathing becomes slow and rhythmic.

“Do you want one?” Millie says, looking back at me. “I mean, you’re amazing with him, but I didn’t think you wanted a baby of your own. You’ve been married twice with no kids.”

“Married twice—both times to the wrong women. Yeah, I want kids. I want them right now, but I might be getting too old. I’ll have to make do with helping to raise my little nephew here.”

“I can’t believe he’s already down.” Mason walks over and carefully lifts the sleeping Mo off my chest. “You’ve got some voodoo magic going on or something.”

“I told you, man, babies love me,” I say, cracking open my fresh beer. “I’ve got that good energy.”

Mason shakes his head as he carries Mo into the house. I watch them and then look back at Millie and Raine. They’re in a huddle again—whispering and staring at me.

“Do you think I should use it?” Raine says.

“Use what?” I say, taking a long drink.

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