Millie, Outer Banks, North Carolina, 2020

“Dad,” I say quietly as I knock on his hotel room door.

We got to the Outer Banks last night and had dinner with Carol. I left them at the hotel bar at about nine. He was supposed to meet me this morning at eight to go surfing. It’s fifteen minutes after eight. For him, this is the equivalent of being an entire week late.

Mariel told me that Carol spent the night with him in Virginia Beach while I was in Rome. From the way they were looking at each other last night, I’m guessing that’s why he’s late this morning. As much as I love the idea of them being together, I don’t want to open this door to see them in bed.

Dad swings the door open. “Hey! Sorry, running a little late this morning.”

He’s putting the finishing touches on making his bed. He always has his bed made by five in the morning.

“Is she hiding in the bathroom?” I nod my head toward the closed door as I fold my arms over my chest.

“Who, sweetie?” He avoids eye contact with me.

“Dad,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I’m a trained CIA interrogator now. Stop trying to fool me. I know Carol spent the night with you while I was in Rome. She doesn’t have to hide from me. I love her.”

He finally looks at me. “She left about ten minutes ago,” he says, shaking his head. “Thank God Chase and Mariel have already left for Colorado, so I don’t have to kill Mariel when we get back. She shouldn’t have told you that.”

“It’s not Mariel’s fault,” I say, laughing. “You’re the one hiding stuff.”

He sits on the bed. “It’s just, you know, with everything you just heard about Nejra, I don’t want to give you too much to handle all at once.”

“Dad,” I say, sitting down next to him. “Carol’s a good thing. For me anyway. Is she a good thing for you?”

“Yeah, she is.” He puts his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder. “She’s considering moving out to San Diego.”

“Really? Her entire family’s here.” I look up at him. “If you want to stay here with her, I’ll understand.”

“I’ve already told her that’s not a possibility. You’re the most important thing to me. She gets that.”

“But—”

“Millie, it’s not an option. As long as you want me to, I’m going to live in the same city as you. If you get tired of me, I’ll consider moving, but I probably wouldn’t even then. You’re stuck with me.”

“I’m never going to get tired of you.”

“Good, then it’s settled.” He stands up and pulls me up with him. “Let’s get to the beach. There’s supposed to be some good waves out today.”

* * *

Dad and I have just paddled out. He told me to go first, but I motioned him into the next wave. It’s choppy out, and it’s giving me motion sickness. I haven’t had that once in my entire life. I watch him ride the wave for a while but then decide to paddle in—despite the growing dizziness in my head.

The second I pop up on my board, my head starts spinning like a top. I feel myself falling and can’t stop it. My legs go up in the air as my head crashes back down on the board. I make it back to the surface, but my head’s pounding.

“Wow! That was a spectacular wipeout! I think you just handed the surfing crown back to me.” Dad laughs as he paddles his board over.

I look up at him as he glides in next to me. “I don’t know what happened—”

“I do,” he says, grinning. “You lost it on a baby wave. I haven’t seen you wipe out on something that little since you were about six.”

I try to smile back, but tears start rolling down my cheeks. I go under the water to try to wash them away quickly.

“Millie?” As I surface, he takes my arms and drapes them over his board. “What’s wrong? Did you hit your head?”

I nod as the tears start to stream down my face. He reaches down and pulls me up onto his board.

“Look at me,” he says, grabbing my face. “Look right into my eyes.”