Page 83 of The Only Reason (The Trident Trilogy 2)

Chapter Forty-One

Millie

Jalalabad, Afghanistan

2020

Chase told me Dad was on the firing range. I head down there, still not sure if I’m ready to talk to him. When I turn the corner into the range, he’s popping a spent mag out of his rifle. I stand there for a second, looking at him. He looks a little skinnier than I remember, but his arms are still huge. There’s nothing I want more than to be wrapped up in them.

“You still practicing your shooting?” he asks without looking back at me.

The sound of his voice makes me jump. It’s only been living in my head for the past nine years. Hearing it live almost takes my breath away.

“Not really. Just as much as the agency makes us to stay certified.”

“Do they make you keep up your hand-to-hand combat skills, too?”

“A little.” He still hasn’t looked at me. “But after you died, I didn’t really like to do much of anything that we used to do together.”

He fires a few more rounds down range—both in the target’s head—just like he taught me.

“I know you hate me, Millie,” he says as he puts his rifle down and finally turns around.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Well at least you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not even mad at you really. I know you did what you thought was right,” I say, trying to mentally block the tears starting to form in my eyes. “I guess I just don’t understand why you didn’t take me with you. I would have gone into hiding with you.”

“That wouldn’t have been any kind of life for you, sweetie. I wanted to protect you from reality a little longer. I disappeared so you could keep living your life.”

“You were my life,” I say quietly. “When you disappeared, it disappeared, too.”

As the tears start rolling down my cheeks, he walks carefully toward me. “Millie,” he says, reaching one of his arms out.

I take a quick step back from him as I rub the tears off my face. “No,” I say, shaking my head. “No.”

He stops walking, but he’s close enough now that I can get a good look at his face. His eyes are still so deep and gentle. They’ve always had a hypnotic effect on me. One look from them, and I always knew everything would be okay. I look away from them quickly.

“From what I saw the other day, you’re still a pretty good shot.” I can tell he’s trying to make small talk. It feels weird—like I’m talking to a stranger.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever killed someone. It doesn’t feel good.”

“You were defending yourself. If you didn’t kill them, you would be dead.”

“That doesn’t make it feel any better.”

“I know,” he says softly. “There’s a reason I never wanted you in this life.”

I look back at him. “I got into it to find out who Mom was. I wish you had just told me.”

He nods. “I should have. It was a mistake.”

“When we were driving to the valley, Aza told me a lot about Mom. It sounds like she was a force from the time she was a little girl.” I laugh, remembering the stories, but then stop myself. I don’t want to be happy right now.

“She was a force when I met her, for sure. She was every bit as strong as I am—probably stronger,” he says, his voice cracking a bit. “That’s true of her daughter, too.”

“I wish I could have known her . . .” My voice trails off as the tears start to form again. This time I can’t stop them. They start pouring down my face with the force of Niagara Falls. The second I look up at him, he’s on me—his big arms wrapping me into a bear hug. I collapse on his chest—sobbing so hard that I start shaking uncontrollably.

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