Page 6 of The Only Reason (The Trident Trilogy 2)

Chase takes a long drink. “No, man. I would still do it today if my body would let me. It never really leaves you, does it?”

“I miss it every day. Training the new guys out on Coronado is fine. It’s something to do with my day, but it’s nothing like being on a mission—leading your team. You know. You were a team leader a lot longer than I was.”

“Yeah. Obviously at my age, I can’t go back, but you still have a few years if you want to do it. You think that might be part of the problem with you and Millie? Maybe you’re regretting leaving your team and moving out here.”

“No, I don’t regret it. She’s the only reason I’m here, but it was the right decision. If Culver hadn’t called, I wouldn’t even be thinking about it. You think he did it on purpose? He’s never really been a fan of Millie and me being together.”

Chase laughs loudly. “You think he’s assigning team leads to break up a relationship? Get it together, man. You’re losing it. Harry’s not like that. You know how buttoned up he is. Even when he was a grunt on my team, he was always the most serious one in the group. He asked you because that’s your team. You could slip back in without missing a beat.”

“Yeah, I know. My mind’s mush right now. Maybe it’s this California air or something,” I say, sighing loudly. “And I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a few days.”

“Man, if it’s because y’all are having too much sex or something, please keep that to yourself.”

“You are the last person I want to talk to about my sex life with Millie. The absolute last.”

“Appreciate that, brother,” he says as he slugs me on the shoulder. “So why aren’t you sleeping? PTSD? Nightmares?”

“Yeah. But not mine. Millie’s starting to have nightmares.”

“Starting? You mean about Mack? She’s been having those since the day she found out he was dead,” Chase says quietly. “The first night she stayed with Mar and me, she woke up screaming bloody murder. Scared the hell out of us. She told me they’d started to get better after you moved here. Not true?”

“Ah, man. I didn’t know she’d been having them for that long. She didn’t tell me. She’s had a handful since I moved here. Is that better?”

“She used to have them every night so, yeah, that’s better.” Chase lets out a long sigh. “The ninth anniversary of his death is coming up in a few months. That’s probably why they’re back. I can tell she’s struggling right now.”

“What do you mean struggling? She seems happy. She says she is.”

“Look, I’m trying to stay out of your relationship, but there’s probably a lot you don’t know. I’m not sure how much she talks about her childhood.” Chase looks away and tips his chair back as far as he can without falling over backward. “The badass-super-agent you met six months ago has maybe been around for like three or four years. Before that—especially when Mack was still alive—she was a sweet little ray of sunshine without a care in the world. Mack protected her from harsh reality—any reality. Period.”

“She seems like that most of the time now—like sunny and happy. Maybe she’s going back to how she was before he died. You know? Maybe finally finding out who her mom was and putting her Bosnian family behind her has freed her up.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. You spend a lot more time with her now than I do. But when she first moved here—when you were still on deployment—it’s like there were a bunch of different Millies battling for control. I don’t think she knows who she is anymore, and I can tell that’s bothering her. But she’ll figure it out, and I’m sure your being here is helping her do that.”

Before I can answer, Chase’s phone rings. He looks at me and shakes his head. “It’s Mariel. Any bets on what Lucy and Ethel are up to tonight?”

“Hi, honey. Everything okay?” he says like he’s talking to a first grader. “Yeah. That’s a good decision. It sounds like you shouldn’t drive. Mason and I are wrapping up here. We’ll come and get you. Mm. George’s in La Jolla? Okay. It’s going to take us at least twenty minutes to get there. Promise me you won’t go in the ocean. Yeah, I know. That was just that one time. Okay. Don’t leave until we get there. And maybe don’t have any more to drink. Okay, babe. We’ll be there soon.”

“Guess she had that third glass of wine, huh?” I laugh as I dump the rest of my beer in the fire and grab the car keys out of my pocket.

---