Page 18 of The Only Reason (The Trident Trilogy 2)

Chapter Nine

Mason

San Diego, California

2020

Chase opens his front door and reads my face and body language instantly—exactly the way we were taught to read the enemy. As a special forces operator, you can’t take much time to guess someone’s intentions—you must evaluate quickly and act immediately. Chase’s eyes tell me if he had a gun handy, he would have already shot me.

“I think I fucked up,” I say, not breaking my stare with him.

Chase’s eyes sink into attack mode. “I swear to God, Mason, if you cheated on her, I’m cutting off your dick right here and now.”

“I didn’t cheat on her,” I say as I drop down on the bench on his porch. “I asked her to marry me.”

“Oh yeah, well you really have gone too far now,” Chase says, rolling his eyes as he walks out on the porch, letting the door slam behind him.

“No, man. You don’t know. It really freaked her out. She got all panicky. And I kept going at her. I couldn’t quit. Like I had to prove a point. I think I fucked it up for real this time.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up,” he says, sighing deeply. “She’s fully in love with you. It’s just, you know, Millie’s not like other girls. She didn’t spend her childhood imagining her perfect wedding. Mack had her playing with guns and night-vision goggles—not wedding dresses and flowers. Maybe marriage isn’t her thing. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you.”

“I know. Everything comes back to her dad. I think she’s turning a corner and learning to live without him, and then something else comes up—like he wasn’t married, so she doesn’t want to be.”

“Uh, I think you’re reading that wrong. I don’t think it has much to do with Mack not being married. It’s more the bond she had with him. I think it’s impossible for anyone to get to Millie’s inner circle of trust. Believe me, I’ve been trying for years. That place is reserved for Mack only. And when he left her so suddenly, it closed all-together. I don’t think you’re ever going to get there. And if I know anything for sure about Millie, the more pressure you put on her, the more she absolutely shuts down.”

I lean back and close my eyes. “It’s like I start to make progress, and then I run smack into another wall. It’s so frustrating. I was close to my mom, but not like this. I can’t figure it out.”

“From the little you’ve told me, I know losing your mom was hard, but you still had your dad and brother. In fact, you still have them to this day. When Mack died, Millie didn’t have anyone. Her grandma died soon after that, and Camille was worthless anyway. Mar and I tried to be there for her, but as I told you, she practically eliminated us from her life. These last few months are the closest I’ve ever felt to Millie. I think you’ve been good for her. Whether you recognize it or not, she’s changing for the better.”

“You think?”

“I know. The fact she’s trusting us enough to have her back—even just a little bit—is such a huge step forward for her. You’re doing that. She trusts you.”

“Yeah, I guess. She’s complicated, man. Not like any woman I’ve ever known before. She makes me crazy.”

“All the good ones do, brother.” He stands up and heads to the door. “You want a beer?”

“No. I need to go back over to Millie’s and apologize. I was an asshole. I need to at least try to make it right,” I say as I stand up slowly. “You know she told me she hates when we talk about her.”

“Yeah, well Millie doesn’t get to control everything. You’re welcome over here any time with or without her.”

When I get back to Millie’s house, I don’t know if I should use my key or knock. I decide to use the key. All the lights are off in the house, but her car is in the driveway. I peek in the bedroom and see her sleeping under the mass of blankets. I stand there and watch her for a little bit. It makes me think back to the first time we shared a bed after we survived the firefight. I stayed with her all night to make sure her concussion didn’t get worse. I was into her from the first second I saw her, but that was the night I fell in love with her—watching her sleep so innocently, all curled up in a little ball like she is now.

I crawl under the blankets. She opens her eyes, looking a little bit confused.

“I’m sorry, Mills. I overreacted. I was an asshole.” I reach out to touch her shoulder. “Is it okay if I stay? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me here.”

She scoots toward me and turns around—spooning her body into me. Just like she did that first night. I wrap my arms around her tightly and kiss the top of her head.

“So you’re rescinding the proposal,” she says softly.

“Nothing is rescinded. It’s just put way in the back of the shelves. Behind all the kitchen stuff we never use. Maybe one day we’ll take it out; maybe we won’t. But married or not, I know—with certainty—I never want to let you go.” I squeeze her tighter. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” she says as she turns back around to face me. “Can I ask you something?”

“Are you going to ask me to marry you?”

“Stop,” she says, kissing my nose. “No. It’s just . . . are you happy?”

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