Page 65 of Eight Years (The Trident Trilogy 1)

“Did you take me out the first time?” She looks up, laughing.

“Yeah, I guess last night wasn’t really a date. But, I want to make it up to you. Some place nice where I can spoil you.”

“You know I’m going to be in D.C. for a while now. You’re three hours away on a good day. I’m not sure how we’re going to keep this going.”

“We can make it work. If you want to, we can make it work. Millie, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I need to at least try to make it work.”

“Mason, you’re being deployed in a week. I have no idea where they’re going to send me. In reality, this would be tough. Right now, it would be really tough. I don’t even know when I’m going to see you again.”

“Maybe, I can get Culver to ask for you to be assigned to us permanently,” I say, knowing it’s a bad idea, but I’m desperate.

“Mason, c’mon, that wouldn’t work any better. You can’t be fucking someone you work with.”

“You think that’s all this was? Me fucking you? Is that what it was for you? Because it’s a lot more for me,” I say, suddenly feeling very defensive.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just bad timing. We both have so much going on right now. You can’t quit and move to D.C. I can’t quit and move to Virginia. It’s just what it is.” She’s being way too practical and realistic, and I’m not liking it at all. I’m pissed now. I have never been on the side of the relationship that cares too much. It’s starting to feel like that now.

“Seriously, Millie. It was just sex for you. Damn, I totally misread this situation.”

“Mason, no, it’s not, it wasn’t just sex. It’s just,” she says, hesitating.

“It’s just what? What aren’t you telling me? And, it’s not your boyfriend or your job or your travel schedule or that it would be a long-distance relationship. What is it? You’re keeping something from me. Damn it, Millie, what is it?”

She sits up. “Mason, I’m leaving for Bosnia later tonight. Can we talk about this when I get back?”

“Wait, what? You’re going back to Bosnia? Why? Did you find Hadzic?”

“No, I haven’t found him yet, but the agency has agreed to let me work out of the embassy while I’m searching for him. I don’t know how long I’m going to be over there.”

“Why aren’t we going over with you? Have you talked to Culver about this?”

“Not yet. There’s no reason for you guys to be over there with me. I don’t even know if the intel Hadzic’s father gave me is real yet. I just need to be over there, so I can monitor the situation in person.”

“And, if you find him, what happens then if we’re not with you?”

“Well, it depends on when and if I find him. Y’all are going to be deployed in Afghanistan for months, so it might not be your team that gets called in. There’s a team in Germany now that will be closer.”

“Hell no,” I say. “We are the ones that got you this far. We’re going to be the ones that finish this with you.”

“Well, that’s really not my call. And, I have to find him first. This might be a moot point. I’m not even sure if he’s in Bosnia. It might be months—years—before I find him.”

“So, you’re just going to hang out in Sarajevo for years?”

“Of course not, but I’m going to be over there for as long as they’ll let me be.”

“What is it about this guy? Why are you so invested in him?”

“I’ve been chasing him since I got to the agency. This is the first real lead I’ve had on him. It’s the first lead the agency has had in years.”

“There’s still something you’re not telling me.”

“Mason, I leave in six hours. I have a ton to do before I leave. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about this earlier, but it just happened within the last day,” she says. “With Drew, and everything with him, and trying to get everything together, I’ve just been distracted. You know how it gets before you leave on deployment. It’s just a lot.”

My phone has been blowing up for the last fifteen minutes. I haven’t looked at it once. I’m not sure what to say to Millie right now, so I roll over and pick it up. Emergency text from the base, and I’m three hours away at best.

“I’ve got to go, Millie,” I say as I get out of bed and search for my clothes. “I don’t know what to say about all of this, but maybe it’s better if I just leave. You’re right about our jobs. Maybe it would be too complicated.”

She just sits on the bed looking up at me; her eyes are sad, but she doesn’t say anything. I kiss her on the head as I walk out.

“I’ll call you later,” I say as I’m shutting the door.

When I get in the car, I call Culver, and explain where I am. He’s pissed, but keeps it under control. I tell him about Millie going over to Bosnia by herself, and he gets really pissed. He tells me he’s going to take care of that, and that he’ll cover for me until I get back to the base. As I drive out of the D.C. city limits, my gut is telling me I’ve seen Millie for the last time. Like my dream where the guys are trying to pull her out of my arms, I feel like she’s being ripped away from me, and for the first time in my life, I feel totally helpless.

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