He places a finger over my mouth. “We’ll talk about this later, okay?”
My eyes meet his, and I have no clue what he is thinking. What happens now? No one’s kisses have ever affected me like his. His lips have scorched my soul and branded me everywhere. It both scares and exhilarates me at the same time. I am so deeply in love with my best friend.
We walk around to Dylan’s house in silence and his mum looks up in surprise when we walk through the door. She’s sitting on the sofa with a magazine in her hand, her hair tied up in a ponytail. “Why aren’t you two at college?”
“Long story,” Dylan replies. “My car wouldn’t start this morning. Ella needs to go and pick up her mum from work. A resident has assaulted her. Can I borrow your car, Mum?”
“Oh gosh,” Stacey says, getting to her feet and rushing to her bag. “Poor Kay, I hope she’s okay. Here you go.” She pulls out her keys and holds them out for Dylan. “Give her my love.”
We climb into his mum’s estate car. “It’s the home just past the town hall,” I tell him.
“I know. I’ve given your mum a lift before,” he says, his voice sounds dejected.
Finding the silence between us stifling, I mess with the radio and I put some music on. Mendes sings a song about wanting someone that he can’t have, and the song echoes all the feelings I feel for the guy sitting at the side of me.
We park up at the home and I tell Dylan he can wait in the car, but he insists on coming in with me. I tell reception that I’m here to pick up my mum and they let us both through the security doors. An elderly man sits by the doors singing to himself and he smiles at us both.
“Ella, come through. I’m Jackie, I spoke to you on the phone.” Jackie is a petite woman in her late fifties with warm eyes. “I’m afraid Jack’s in a volatile mood today and he took it out on your mum. She’s okay, just shaken up. He hit her in the face and pushed her into the door. She’s fine, she just needs to go home and rest.” Jackie ushers us into an office where my mum sits in a chair with an icepack on her left eye.
“Mum,” I say as I rush over to her and kneel at her side. “Are you okay?”
She smiles in reassurance, and she pats my hand. “I’m fine. Jack just decided he didn’t want to come for bingo today. Honestly, I’m fine.”
I reach and pull her hand away from her eyes so I can take a look.
"I'll have a black eye and I cut my arm when I landed against the door, but other than that I'm fine."
“Get her home,” Jackie says, passing my mum’s bag to Dylan. “I don’t want to see you back on shift until the weekend.”
My mum goes to protest, and I jump in before her. “Thanks, Jackie. I’ll make sure she stays off.”
Mum stands to her feet and she hands Jackie back the icepack. “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re all fussing so much.”
I place an arm around my mum’s shoulders, and I walk with her towards the entrance. For the first time in a long time, I feel genuine concern for my mother. I’d switched off all emotions to do with her when I left here three years ago. Uncle Matt would often try to tell me how she was doing in rehab, and I would just shut him down and change the subject. Today, though, getting that call, I felt genuine fear. She and Uncle Matt are the only family I have left.
Mum chats away in the car, telling us about Jack and how he has advanced dementia and whilst he is normally very timid and friendly, he could have his moments when he turns and becomes violent. Dementia is a terrible disease, it robbed people of their memories and personality.
When we pull up at my house, I help mum out of the car. “Thanks for running me,” I tell Dylan. “I can take it from here.”
Dylan looks like he might protest, but he nods. "I'll come round later. We need to talk." His eyes hold mine and with a quick nod, I look away, unable to face him in case I see regret reflected back at me.
Once inside, I fetch mum some more ice and make her a cup of tea. She takes herself off to bed saying she needs a nap and I insist on following her up and making sure she is comfortable. I close my mum’s door and go to head back downstairs, but I hesitate as I pass my brother’s room. I find myself turning the handle and going inside. It’s like time has stood still when you walk in. It’s exactly as he left it that night when he went out with friends. A picture of Old Trafford sits on the wall above his desk where his college papers are spread out. I run my finger along his desk and throw myself down on his bed.
I was so broken when he died. I could feel myself drowning in grief and I couldn't keep afloat. I'd needed someone to be strong for me back then, and it had gutted me when Dylan didn't come through for me. The pain of those memories stab at my fragile heart. I should never have let that happen with Dylan earlier. I can feel him breaking down my barriers the more time we spend together. I've spent the last three years building up my defences. I've sealed my heart from any more heartache. It's best if I keep Dylan at arm's length, that way he can't hurt me again.
My phone rings and I pull it out of my jeans pocket and blow out a deep breath when I see Dylan’s name on the screen. I turn my phone to silent and head downstairs to make a start on something for tea for mum and me.
Mum comes down a couple of hours later and I order her to relax in front of the telly while I finish off making tea. I've made us chicken wraps with salad. I take mums through to her and we both eat with our teas on trays on the sofa.
“Everything okay?” She asks me, watching me.
“Course. I should be asking you that question,” I reply, deflecting her query.
My mum guffaws. “I’ve told you I’m fine. You and Dylan were quiet in the car.”
I chew on my lip and concentrate my gaze on the television. “Things with Dylan and I are complicated.”
Mum nods her head. “I guess things do get complicated when the lines between friendship and love blur.”