Page 38 of The Boy I Once Loved

"Hey, guys," Connor greets us as they both climb in and put on their seatbelts. Aria smiles at me and Dylan before her gaze falls on my hand, which is still in Dylan's. Feeling self-conscious, when Dylan moves his off mine to release his handbrake, I pull mine in and cross my arms. I notice though that he puts his hand palm up back in the middle as if inviting me to take it. I shuffle in my seat and look out of the window, away from the hand I want to hold.

We arrive at the cinema and queue for our tickets and then we grab our popcorn and drinks. Dylan and I get a sweet and salty one to share. The film, to be fair, is quite good, and I get into it. Dylan nudges me and gestures with his head to where Connor and Aria are sitting beside us, kissing.

“He mithered us to watch this film,” I whisper to Dylan.

Dylan grins and shrugs. “That’s what cinemas are for. Making out in the dark.”

I shake my head and tell my stupid heart to stop daydreaming that it is Dylan and I that are making out and I turn my concentration back on the film.

"That was a good movie," Connor announces as we head for the car afterwards.

Dylan and I look at each other and laugh. “Yeah, Connor, you enjoyed it so much that your tongue was shoved down Aria’s throat for most of it.”

Aria grins sheepishly and Connor chuckles. “Hey, I was watching it. I can multi-task.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Aria says. “Katy’s parents are away at the weekend, and she is throwing a party. She asked me to invite you both and said you can both stay over.”

Dylan pulls his face. “Actually, I was planning to take Ella somewhere on Friday?”

I look up, surprised. “You were?”

“You guys have to come; it will be boring without you,” she groans.

“We can come to the party. Can we do this thing Saturday instead?” I ask Dylan.

He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “I guess one more day won’t hurt.”

Aria then tells us about Christmas holiday plans. Her parents have a lakeside cabin that they have said she can use for new year. “It will be so good. We’ll have fireworks and have a campfire. We can play stupid games like truth or dare.”

“Speaking of dares.” Dylan waggles his eyebrows at me.

I groan. I was really hoping he had forgotten all about that dare. I should have known better.

“I beat El at Guess who and the prize was a truth and a dare. She still owes me the dare.”

Connor looks at me opened mouthed. “He beat you at guess who?? But you always win.”

“I know, right?” I nod. “I think he’s been practising and waiting for the opportunity to beat me.”

"You know Dylan, you should use that dare wisely, use it as an opportunity," Aria tells him, and I can't help but feel there is some hidden message behind her words, but I shrug it off.

“Oh, I intend to,” he replies, smirking and winking at her.

When we get back to Dylan’s his mum is already in bed. I tell him I’m too tired for a shower. Really though, I just can’t handle more of him touching me, it’s driving me crazy. He helps me undress though, and that is bad enough. I worry he can hear and see how breathless I am when his hands touch my skin. I don’t put up a fight when he insists I sleep in his bed. We both know I don’t seem to have my nightmares when he sleeps with me. I lie on my pillow on my side, and he does the same.

“Have you thought much about next week?”

I shake my head. In all honesty, I have been doing everything I can to not think about next Tuesday. The day my brother should have been turning twenty. The day we should have been out as a family celebrating.

“I was thinking, we should skip college and go somewhere for the day. We could maybe go to the beach or somewhere that Liam liked to go.”

I smile. “I’d like that. He loved going to the beach when we were kids.”

“Then that is what we’ll do. I’ll clear it with our mums.”

I love that he knows what I need without having to really ask me, and that is because nobody knows me better than he does. We chat easily for the next half hour before tiredness overtakes me. The last thing I see before I drift off is Dylan fast asleep and my heart aches with want.

The rest of the week at college passes in a blur. I return home after school on Thursday night and my mum tries to play the doting mother routine, making us freshly cooked teas and wanting to chat about my day. I know I should cut her some slack, but I’m still really angry with her. Dylan sneaks into my room via the window every night and sleeps with me so that I won’t have nightmares and leaves at the crack of dawn. Before I know it, it is Friday and Aria, Katy and Freya are chatting excitedly about the party tonight.

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