Page 62 of The Boy I Once Loved

Chapter Twelve

In the morning I wake up with my face resting on Dylan’s chest. Why is it I can’t seem to stay away from him? Even in my sleep for god’s sake. At some time during the night, Dylan’s arms have come out of his sleeping bag and they are now wrapped around my waist holding me against him. I go to roll away and put some space between us.

“Don’t,” he says softly. “I’m sorry El. I’m sorry about last night.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, my voice barely a whisper. “We’ve both done and said things we regret. I’m sorry too.”

“I just want you in my life, Ella. I need my best friend,” he confesses. His voice is raw with emotion.

“You’ve got me,” I tell him, my voice breaks with the tangle of feelings running through my head and my heart.

After breakfast, we all go for a long hike around the lake. It's a beautiful day, cold but so pretty as the low sun flickers through the trees and the light bounces off the water. It is peaceful and still apart from the sounds of the birds in the trees. It's quiet, that is until Freya moans for about the tenth time that her feet are hurting. Maybe if she'd have brought decent shoes with her instead of her heeled boots, she wouldn't be complaining. I stride ahead, hoping to drown out her voice.

“You, okay?” Aria asks me as we walk alongside each other.

I nod my head. “I’m good.”

“Connor told me about your brother after he introduced us. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”

I glance her way and nod. “It was tough. He was three years older than me, but he was my big brother and I idolised him. There isn’t a day goes by when I don’t think about him.”

Aria touches my arm briefly. "Connor said he was a good guy. He would kick the ball around with him and Dylan sometimes."

“He was.” I smile. “I think Connor and Dylan had a bit of a guy crush on my cool brother at one point.”

Aria chuckles, nodding. “Connor’s no siblings, so I’m sure he looked up to him.” Aria looks back behind us at Freya. “I’m sorry Freya was such a bitch. I wish I’d never invited her along.”

I bat away her comment with my hand. “It’s fine. I can handle Freya; don’t you worry about that.”

“I know you can. I’m still sorry that she spoiled the evening.”

“Forget about it,” I reassure her with a friendly nudge and a smile.

Aria looks up in front of us to where Connor and Dylan are walking together and chatting.

“Are you two, okay?”

I nod my head. We are okay; I think. Some things are still unsaid between us, but then again, some things are probably best left unsaid, especially how I really feel about my best friend.

We walk for another good twenty minutes until we reach the top of the hill. The views from up here are beautiful. You can see nothing but rolling green countryside and cloudy skies. I smile as I watch Connor and Aria; he has his arms wrapped around her from behind and his head resting on her shoulder, as they stand smiling out at the view.

“They’re cute together, huh?” Dylan says, coming to stand beside me. He gestures his head towards where they are standing.

“Yeah, they are.” I agree, smiling. Inside my heart aches because I want that with Dylan, and I’ll never have it.

“Who was he?”

I look at Dylan in confusion. “Who was who?”

Dylan clears his throat and looks away from me and out at the view. “The guy you loved. You took a drink last night when Aria said about being in love.”

“Oh, that,” I say, my heart thumps in my chest. What would he do if I said right here and now that it is him, he’s the only boy I’ve ever loved? “No one.”

Dylan scoffs. “If you loved him, then he wasn’t no one.”

I kick at the dirt on the ground with my foot, wanting the ground to swallow me up. I do what I do best – I deflect.

“What about you? Who’s the girl you loved?”

---