Page 47 of The Boy I Once Loved

I gulp and just sit there staring at his face. Sometimes he blows me away with his words and this is one of those times. Why does he have to be so damned perfect?

He chuckles and he reaches over and pinches the end of my nose. “Have I rendered you speechless, little Ella?”

“Yeah, I just realised you actually may have a brain in your head and not just in your pants,” I tease. There you have it. When he gets serious, I play it down and make jokes.

Dylan pulls into a small car park and I look around me, trying to figure out where we are. I know we have driven into the next town, but I still don’t have a clue where we are going. He kills the engine and climbs out and I follow suit.

He grins as he hands me my new crutches. My mum had picked me another set up on her way home from work today. He gestures for me to walk with him. “This really is killing you, isn’t it? Not knowing?”

I nod, frowning. “I don’t like it anymore when control is taken away from me. If I’m in control, I can prepare myself for any bad shit coming my way.”

He nudges my shoulder gently as we walk. “But then you also miss out on the good stuff, Ella.”

We turn a corner and I spot ‘Papa Luigi’s’ and that’s when I remember. When we were kids, he always used to promise me that one day when we were older, he would take me to Papa Luigi’s like a proper boyfriend. I adored this place as a kid, we came here for most of our birthdays. The pizzas here are hands down the best around.

He looks at me somewhat uncertain. “Is this okay? I mean we can go somewhere else if not?”

I squeeze his arm softly. “It’s fine, Dyl.” It is better than fine, it’s perfect. One day my best friend is going to make someone a very good boyfriend.

He holds open the door for me and I walk inside. I’m immediately hit by a memory of my 9th birthday and us all sitting around the table over in the big bay window. We all had silly party hats on, and they brought a cake out with nine candles all lit. My brother had teased me that he would blow them out before I could, so I had literally lunged at the cake as soon as it was placed on the table and blown them out before anyone had a chance to sing.

Dylan talking to the waiter pulls me from my reminiscing and he guides us over to a small table over in the corner.

“You good?” he asks me as we take our seats and the waiter offers us the menus.

I nod in response and then do a double-take when I am handed the specials menu. The pizza special was 'Ella's pizza'. I look up at Dylan, who is grinning.

“You did this?”

He nods, a nervous smile appears on his face. “I err, called in a favour. It has everything on that you love. Extra mozzarella, pineapple, green peppers and ham.”

Naturally, we both order the ‘Ella special’ and the waiter brings us our drinks. I peer over at him as he looks around the restaurant.

“So, what is all this in aid of? What are you after Dylan James?” I eye him suspiciously and he clears his throat and suddenly looks nervous, something you rarely see from Dylan.

“Can’t I take my best friend out for a meal?”

I bob my head in response, still studying him. “You can, but I can tell you’re lying. You rub your tongue over your teeth when you lie, and you fidget.” I gesture to his hand that is messing with the napkin.

He laughs and puts the napkin down. “Let’s just eat and talk, Ella. Tell me what you have been doing for the last three years.”

I sigh. “The last three years.” I take a sip of my drink as I think about how to answer his question. “I have been trying to piece myself back together. Looking back now, going away was the right thing for me. I needed a fresh environment that didn’t hold memories every which way I turned. Uncle Matt didn’t push me, he just let me be.” I blow out a long breath. It is hard talking about the darkness I was in when I first left here. “At first, I barely functioned, just going through the motions of sleeping, waking, existing. Then he forced me one day to get dressed and said we were going out for the day. I moaned my head off, but he was insistent.” I smile at the memories of that day. “He took me out on his bike and there was just something about the freedom of being on a bike, the wind in your face. I cried my heart out behind him on that bike ride, but by the end of our ride, I was smiling.” I look up at Dylan and he’s listening and watching me intently with a look on his face like he is in pain.

Dylan reaches across the table and he takes my hands in his. “It should have been me pulling you from that dark place, Ella. I hate how I treated you and I can’t ever take it back and make it right.”

I smile sadly. "I know. It is just hard to let go sometimes. I can't ever hurt like that again, because this time I think it will finish me off. I won't survive the next time."

Dylan nods and clears his throat. “Ella, I was going to wait until after we ate to do this but...,”

"Ella. Is that you?" I look up and find Kyle standing before us, my brother's best friend. He grins, looking as surprised as me. "It is you. I was sitting over there, and I spotted you." He turns to Dylan. "Hey, Dylan."

“Hi Kyle, it’s good to see you.” I take him in, he’s no longer the seventeen-year-old boy I remember. For a start, he has facial hair, well stubble, and a large tattoo sleeve up one arm.

“Wow, you have grown up.” Kyle grins at me. “It’s great to see you.” He looks over at an empty table and grabs a chair and pulls it up to ours. “What have you been up to these last few years?”

I shrug. “Not much. I went to live with my uncle after...,”

Kyle’s smile drops as he nods, and we all fall silent for a second or two. “I’m a mechanic now at Mike’s garage.” He holds up his takeaway pizza box. “This is my Saturday night treat.” He pauses and stares at me. “God, you have his eyes.”

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