Page 138 of Surrendering Hope (The Hope Legacy)

We are ready. The tremble in my hands has nothing to do with the hard stare of the gods, and everything to do with the fear of letting them down, letting everybody down.

Emi steps forward and pushes me back into the bedroom. She glances over her shoulder at Zac and Jed. “Girl talk, no assholes allowed.”

“Go to hell,” Zac grinds out.

“Already been there, the devil had me escorted out,” I retort.

Emi lifts her foot and slams the door shut on their startled faces.

She looks me up and down. “You’re wearing white because it helps to fuel the spell?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“And how are you feeling?”

I rub my hands together. “Nervous? Unsure if I can do this.”

She sits on the bed and pats the comforter. I plonk myself down. “You are so strong, but there is so much on the line. It’s natural to be anxious. But I believe in you, we all do. You aren’t alone.”

She’s wrong, I am alone. The crossed oaths, the secrets, the deceit, I am more alone than ever. But a desperate person is a dangerous one. Ty doesn’t realize that by going after my family, he’s ignited a rage in my veins that won’t be extinguished until I’ve snuffed his fire out with my inferno. Nothing less will satisfy the darkness festering in my soul.

“You know what I do when I feel out of control?” Emi says, laying back on my bed and stretching out.

I join her and stare at the candles flickering in the chandelier. “No, what do you do?”

She turns her head towards me. “I pray.”

I bark out a laugh. Which makes her smile. “You pray? Who the hell too?”

She frowns. “God.”

“Which one?”

“The God, The Creator, Chaos.”

My lips part. Ty wasn’t lying. The gods have a God. Color me surprised. She chuckles. “It’s rare you are rendered speechless.”

“Not often you find out there is an actual Creator. He did everything? Created the Earth, the sky, the night?”

“He created the Chaos that led to the big bang. He doesn’t set out with a specific purpose. He likes to see where the chaos will take him. He gives life possibility and sits back to watch it grow.”

“We’re an experiment?”

“A well loved and cared for experiment.”

I stare back at the ceiling and rub my hands over my face. “That’s… wow.”

She pats my hand. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“Did he make you guys? The gods and goddesses?”

“He made the Primordials and tasked them with making the rest of us, anything the Earth would need to succeed.” She stands and looks at me. “Pray, Natia. He’s always listening and might offer you guidance. This is, after all, your hour of need.”

She sweeps out of the room and closes the door behind her. Pray? Do I need to get on my knees at the side of bed and clasp my hands together? Is that a radio cue for him to listen? Couldn’t hurt, I guess.

I shuffle off the bed and onto the floor, leaning my elbows against the bed I place my hands together and close my eyes.

“God? Hey, it’s me, Natia.” I’m fucking this up already, and I search through my thoughts to understand what it is I’m asking. Support, guidance, a little clue that I’m doing the right thing?

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