Page 31 of The Lady’s Dirty Letter

Ann wiggled her brows, a terrible grin on her face. “So? How was it?”

Caroline cocked her head to the side. “It was not as I thought it would be at all. The night before the wedding, Mama told me that because we were in an arranged marriage, it would hurt a lot and I would not enjoy it, but I had to do my duty as a wife and let my husband continue, no matter how much I wanted him to stop.”

“So, it was terrible?” Ann asked, the smile that had been on her face at her sister’s good news was suddenly wiped off at the thought.

“No! I meant to say that it was the complete opposite,” Caroline paused and looked at her sister. “I do not think it is a good idea for me to tell you these things, Ann. It is not proper.”

"Not proper? I am not a naive child who shallbe plunged into temptation just by your words," Ann explained. "Tell me, please!"

“Fine, I will tell you,” Caroline chuckled. “Don’t tell mother, though.”

“I promise I will not tell anyone,” Ann said, giddy with excitement.

“Alright. When I said it was not like what mother described, I meant that although there was pain, it did not last very long. There were so many new sensations I had never experienced before, they made me feel… intoxicated. Like the time we stole wine from father’s study, remember?”

Ann nodded, smiling at her sister as the memory of their escapade came back to her. They almost got caught by their mother but ran and hid under the bed when they heard her coming. “So, it is like feeling drunk? I do not think I would it like it then. If you remember correctly, I emptied my stomach and felt ill for a few days,” she laughed.

“No, silly! It is the wonderful kind. He awoke sensations in me I never thought possible or existent. I even accompanied him to this parents’ house. Ever since then, he has been attentive, romantic.”

“I am so happy you are happy, Carol. You deserve it,” Ann beamed.

"Everything has changed since then. I feel bewitched," Caroline stated.

Ann was giving her a strange look, so she frowned in confusion. “What is it?” she asked.

“Are you falling in love with him?” her sister asked.

Caroline froze at that. Her sister’s words hit somewhere deep in her heart and struck her with realization. It had only been a few weeks of getting to know him. They were already married, and so she couldn’t say they were moving fast even though they were taking sudden leaps and bounds in their relationship. Was she in love with him? The way she had been feeling toward him lately, even the way she talked about him…

“Oh dear lord, Ann. Is this—is this what love feels like? What do I do? Is it wise? What if everything suddenly turn sour again? How could I ever bear it?”

"Do not fret, Carol." While there have been misunderstandings between the two of you in the past, I believe all is mending now.Besides, I am quite certain he is so bedazzled by your beauty and sweetness, he is just as in love as you are right now, if not more," she said, placing her hand on her sister's cheek.

Ann hugged Caroline, and she could not help but be thankful that she had found a friend in her sister whom she could confide in.

“Alright, now that we have established that you are happy, there is another reason I came here today,” Ann said sheepishly. Caroline was sure she could make a correct guess of what her sister wanted to talk about, but she let Ann continue without interruption. “I wanted to talk to you about Colin.”

“So, you now call him by his name?” she teased her sister who turned a bright red and laughed.

“He asked me and I agreed. He too calls me Ann,” she replied with a smile.

“I consider Colin a most amiable, kind man. But I must advise caution. He does have a reputation and I couldn’t be certain of whether he harbors serious intentions about his future,” Caroline said, smiling weakly. “And, he is devoid of a title. I believe mother would not like this.”

Caroline watched the light disappear from her sister’s eyes and felt guilty that she had been the one to put it out. Especially after all the love her sister had shown her all this time. Still, Caroline thought about her fight with Alexander and wondered if she should let Ann know about it. Alexander had apologized now that they were happier together, but she did not know if he had warned his brother about it first. If Colin held such reservations, she did not want to let Ann get her hopes up and end up getting hurt if Colin withdrew eventually.

“What is the matter? Does he have a lover already?” Ann asked with a nervous laugh as she read Caroline’s expression.

“No, it is not that,” Caroline sighed, giving in. “The last time you were here, after you and Colin left, Alexander accused us of trying to trap his brother into a marriage with you just like we trapped him. He made sure I knew that he would not let us succeed with our plans,” she rushed out, eyes closed, wanting to get the words out quickly.

Caroline opened her eyes after her words were met with silence. She looked at her dumbfounded sister and spoke again, “I haveseen enough to know that Colin worships his brother. I am worriedthat he may have taken Alexander's warnings from back then to heart, and I wouldn't want you hurt."

“How can he say this? It is nobody’s fault but his that he ended up in this situation in the first place. If he had not written that letter—” Ann broke off and got up from where she had been seated. She seemed very angry. “I cannot believe he would choose to blame the results of his actions on anyone but himself.”

“Please, Ann, do not be upset with him. He made a mistake, but no one can blame him for wanting to express his feelings. The only person who should be blamed in this situation is mother. She spread the gossip without caring about the effect it would have on her children. Well, it did not just affect me, but it is now affecting you too. All Alexander was doing was choosing to protect his family, which is what you would do if you were in his place,” Caroline said.

Ann returned to sit beside Caroline and took hold of both her hands, "Would you persuade him not to discourage his brother from spending time with me, Carol? I do notwant to lose his friendship because ofmother's actions."

"I will do my best, Ann.I promise you." Caroline hugged her sister, wishing things had turned out differently.

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