Page 112 of In Sheets of Rain

And I swallowed down tears of sorrow.

“The house,” I said, forcing a laugh. “Congratulations on purchasing your first house.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. We’re stoked.”

“It’s lovely,” I said.

“Are you OK?” she asked. Her mother hovered nearby.

“Great,” I offered with a big smile.

“The job going well?”

“Couldn’t be better.”

I wanted out of this house.

A door slammed. Someone shouted something that sounded like, “Fucking bitch!”

A few seconds later, I heard the distinctive sound of Sean’s Camry starting up.

I stared at my coffee as Jody stared at her hands, and her mother hovered nearby.

“Well,” I said. “I just wanted to pop in and say congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Jody said.

I hesitated. She said nothing. Her mother hovered.

“When’s it due?” I asked.

“November,” she whispered.

“I’m so happy for you,” I managed.

“Kylee,” she said.

I stood up. Stepped toward my friend. And opened my arms.

“You’re going to make a wonderful mother,” I said.

She hugged me. I hugged her back.

Then I pulled away and said, “Gotta dash. I’m meeting someone.”

“Oh, OK. Thanks for calling in.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

Idrove to the beach and sat under my tree and cried.

The seagulls swooped. People threw frisbees to their dogs. Couples held hands and walked side by side.

And I wasn’t sure if I was crying for lost dreams or lost friendships.

But my heart felt like it was dying.

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