Page 44 of Memento Mori

* * *

A few hours later,my arm bandaged and local anesthetic wearing off, I walked back into Hanlen’s room, cup of terrible hospital coffee in hand. They’d stitched her up in the emergency room and gave her a transfusion, but because of her concussion and the amount of blood she’d lost, they wanted her to stay for a couple of days for observation. Hanlen’s gorgeous, dark, silky hair was spread around her on the pillow, her face relaxed in rest. She looked like an angel, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I didn’t want to disturb her, but I wanted to be closer. I moved to the far side of the bed and took a seat on the hard, blue vinyl chair, content to just watch her sleep for now.

As I sat back and the chair squeaked, Hanlen cracked her eyes open and turned her head in the direction of the sound. “Hey,” she said, her voice scratchy and weak.

“Hey, yourself, gorgeous. How do you feel?”

“Like I was kidnapped by a sadistic serial killer who had totally lost touch with reality and then almost killed. Oh, wait, I was.” She coughed, and I set down my coffee and moved to pour her a glass of water, bringing the straw to her lips.

“Just a few sips.”

She did as I instructed and then lay back again against the pillow with a sigh. “What happened while I was out?” she asked.

“We got him, Hanlen. He’s in police custody. I know the cops still need to talk to you, but we all gave our statements and there’s no way he’s getting off. I can’t even imagine he’ll get leniency for mental illness. He knew exactly what he was doing.”

She stared off into space for a moment. “It’s all just so surreal. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to process it.”

“It’s going to take time for all of us. I worked with Remy for five years. While he was always a little different, I never in a million years would have guessed that he was so soulless, capable of taking another’s life without regret. With fuckingpride.”

“He was really good at being who people expected him to be. And it didn’t help that he really and truly believed in his so-called mission. I honestly thought I was going to die, and he tried to make me believe that it was anhonor.” I saw a tremble travel through her body.

I scooted the chair closer, grasped her hand again, and looked deep into her amber eyes, my heart swelling with gratitude that she was here with me. “I almost lost you,” I said and brushed a piece of hair back from her forehead with my free hand.

“I thought I’d lost everything,” she replied and looked at me. I felt as if she were looking into my soul, not just my eyes. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“You’re here. I’m here. Nobody’s going anywhere. There is something I need to tell you, though.”

“God, Dev. What is it with you and these we-need-to-talk conversations?” She smiled, and it lifted some of the weight from my shoulders.

I chuckled, but then sobered. “When the ghosts came to me and told me I needed to get to the cemetery, I had no idea why, but my instincts told me it was important. When I got there and found out that you were in that mausoleum and in danger, I wanted to rip apart the world, but I was stuck. I’ve never felt that way before, Hanlen. So frantic and terrified. And defeated. I love my family and my friends, even care about my clients. But I’ve never wanted to burn the earth to ensure that someone else was okay and safe. I’d realized it before, but in that moment, I knew, without a doubt, that I loved you.”

She sucked in a breath but remained silent.

“I love you, Hanlen Arbor. I know this is really fast, but when you know, you know. The minute I ran into you on that sidewalk and looked into those amazing eyes, I knew that my soul was a match for yours. I know that some of yours is already spoken for. I understand that you will always love my cousin and she will always hold a huge piece of your heart, but I really hope that you can find some room for me, too. At least, eventually.”

She still just stared at me, unblinking, not speaking, and I felt a tremble of apprehension trickle through me.

“I . . .” I started again and cleared my throat. “I don’t expect you to say it. Hell, I’m not even sure how you really feel about me, and I probably just scared the shit out of you, but . . . if you’ll have me, I want to be yours. Let me love you.”

“Oh, Dev, I . . .” she started, and my heart dropped. Had I misread things so spectacularly? Was I only a source of fun while she was in town? No, I didn’t think so.

“You don’t have to say anything more,” I said and sat back in my chair. “I know this is probably a lot.” She immediately shifted in the bed and reached for me, wincing and grunting with the pain.

“Fucking hell,” she said. “Holy shit, that hurts.” I couldn’t stand to see her in pain and stood, moving to her side again, her hand once more in mine.

“Let’s try that again,” she said and let out a little laugh. “What I was going to say is that I love you, too. It’s insane and crazy and makes absolutely no sense, but it is what it is. I knew days ago, I just didn’t know how you would take it, and I knew—Iknow—we have some hurdles to overcome, but you are the first person who has made me feel alive in a decade. You soothe my hurts. You make me laugh. You opened a whole new world to me, one I thought was utter nonsense until you showed me the beauty of it. You gave me life, and you gave me Ray. Through our combined memories, she will always live on.”

I leaned in and kissed her. I was gentle; I didn’t want to hurt her, but I needed to show her with actions as well as words how much she meant to me. When I pulled back, despite the somewhat chasteness of the kiss, we were both breathless. I had a feeling that chemistry, that utter rightness, would never change between us.

“Speaking of Ray,” she said and looked into my eyes. “I think I saw her, Dev. I don’t know, maybe I was hallucinating from the blood loss and shock, but right before I passed out in the crypt, I swore I saw her. She looked just like she did the night I lost her.” Tears swam in her eyes for a moment.

I smiled. “She was there,” I said. “And she mentioned that she thought that you may have seen her. How are you feeling about that?”

“How did I see her?” she asked.

“My guess?” I started. “It probably has something to do with getting hit on the head and the fact that you were in the middle of my and Lark’s combined magic at the time. The day I met you, I knew you were sensitive. You reacted to things that most people don’t and didn’t even realize it. I knew then that it wouldn’t take much to open your senses.”

“Wow, okay,” she said. “That’s a bit to process. Not even two weeks ago, I didn’t believe in any of this stuff and thought what you did was a bunch of bullshit.”

---