Page 79 of Tough as Steele

Was she trying to keep his mind busy until the drop, or was she really interested? After all, she carried all the time too and might just want info from a guy who’d been through all kinds of harrowing situations that could require deadly force. So he would answer.

“I’m pretty light on everyday carry items, but my philosophy in a civilian urban environment is that a tactical retreat is smart. I use my EDC items as the first layer of a retreat and rearm system that can be deployed quickly and is easy to use.”

“So you just need first line defense to be able to get safely to a fallback position.”

“Exactly, and my first requirement is a reliable weapon that has a mag with a minimum of ten rounds. Let me manage multiple threats with a decent ammo supply. The 365 mag holds fifteen rounds, and the P23 holds ten.”

“We have one thing in common then. I carry the 365 too. I like the micro-compact size.”

“Fits in a pocket real nice.” He tapped his pocket. “I also make sure I have another lethal deadly force instrument, so I carry an edged weapon at all times. Either fixed blade or folding. And of course, less lethal OC spray.”

“Me too on the pepper spray, but not a knife.”

He cast her a look of respect. “One of your best non-lethal weapons is a small but high-powered flash light. One good blast of a high-power light in the face can disrupt the bad guy long enough for you to take action.”

“Yeah, that’s in my EDC too.”

“Good for you,” he said. “I don’t meet many law enforcement officers who go to the extreme that I do. But I need to be prepared for anything. It was drilled into my head for so long that I can’t change.”

That seemed to confuse her. “Do you ever relax?”

“At home with doors locked. Alarm set. Anywhere else? Not so much.”

“The stress level has got to be hard on your body and your mind.”

“Maybe, but it’s the only way I can be.”

She picked at something on her slacks and didn’t speak for a long time. Finally, she looked up. “Have you ever tried to give it over to God? I don’t mean stop being prepared and aware of your surroundings, but maybe trust God to give you what you need in the situation He puts you in.”

“Tried,” he answered honestly. “After all I’ve seen, I’m not so good at it.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard people say that God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

“Of course, but it’s a controversial statement. So many interpretations of the verse in Corinthians.”

She nodded. “That aside, I can say that when Thomas died, I thought I would fall apart, but I kept it together for my parents and family. Took charge and led them through the loss. I never knew I could manage something like that, and I realized just how tough I was.”

“I don’t know you well, but I do know you are one tough cookie. I can be kind of intimidating, and you’ve held your own every step of the way.”

“Kind of.” She grinned. “The way I see it is that you don’t know how tough you are until you need to be tough. And you don’t know how much you need to rely on God until in that situation. I—”

His phone rang and he grabbed it. “It’s Brendan Byrd.”

Nate answered on speaker.

“We checked out the park. Not the most ideal situation, but as far as we can see there are no immediate threats. But your suspect chose well. No way I can safely get eyes on the place without exposing my location.”

“Thanks for your help,” Nate said, wishing Brendan could’ve found a hidden location.

“Roger that. Just ask if we can do anything more.”

Nate ended the call and imagined Clarice getting out of her car and strolling down the sidewalk carrying a leather tote bag filled with money. Two million dollars in one hundred dollar bills weighed about forty-five pounds, so she would struggle under the weight.

His palms were sweating, and he had to talk to her one last time. He pressed the mic on the comms unit that connected to Clarice. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, but I’m so nervous.” The anxiety deepened her tone.

“It’ll be fine.” He put all the confidence he didn’t feel into his tone. “We’re nearby. You just have to ask for help, and I’ll be on my way in a flash.”

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